Book Review: How to Be Human

How to Be Human: An Autistic Man’s Guide to Life, by Jory Fleming with Lyric Winik, is an exploration of Fleming’s rather unique mind and perspective. Despite Fleming’s listing as the main author, Winik seems to be the organizing force behind the book. Through his eyes, and through his questions, we meet and see through the eyes of Fleming.

It’s an interesting journey. The book is not quite stream of consciousness, but it is the product of many interviews and time spent together with Fleming. Winik tries to arrange the topics in a coherent flow, and you’re sort of drawn along in the experience. It starts out with more concrete subjects, but by the end the biographical subjects have ceased and you’re listening to the two authors talk philosophy and the value of human life.

What This Book Is Not

The book is not, I should point out, any kind of guide to autistic life. While I’m somewhat disappointed about that fact, I’m not overly surprised. Every autistic experience is different. Some autistic people, like Jory Fleming, seem to be more divorced from their emotions. I certainly was for a good chunk of my childhood.

This book is also not a “story of my life” tale, as is so often typical for autistic adults to write. Instead, it’s of a much smaller category. This book is one of the very few “see through my eyes at this very moment” types. Other books of this type include The Reason I Jump and How Can I Talk If My Lips Don’t Move? I’d say both of those have more “this was my childhood” built into them than How to Be Human. But that’s in part because Jory Fleming simply doesn’t remember much of his childhood.

He also isn’t typically affected by his emotions, and views most things exceptionally logically. One interesting caveat to that is that he doesn’t seem to understand shared cultures based on geographical area. So the idea of regional accents, shared beliefs about the world because that’s how everyone thinks, etc, those are all alien to him.

Bright Points

I had to laugh at one particular section in the book, where Winik and Fleming discuss art. I laugh, because I’ve finally found a fellow modern art critic with my exact same complaint:

LW: What are things you like and don’t like to look at?

Jory: I hate to say it, but really artsy stuff I don’t get. Like modern art or that art where it’s abstract and you’re supposed to bring meanings from something. My nephew could probably do that if we gave him some paint. I’ve looked at art exhibits and London and Paris, and sometimes I think the work is terrible.

How to Be Human, page 140-141

Jory Fleming describes himself as a relentless optimist. He’s very logical and reasonable about why he chooses to be that way. But it strikes me as rather unusual, because he had a reasonably difficult childhood from the small bits mentioned in the book. He didn’t start talking in the usual way of children. His mother homeschooled him and became an expert in how to communicate in “Joryspeak.” The most common example in the book is Fleming saying, “It’s a cold night” to her to ask her to turn on music for them to listen to. Because that was apparently something she’d sometimes say before turning on the music.

Also interestingly for a person that’s exceptional logical, Fleming is a person of faith. The discussion of that apparent contradiction is near the back of the book, and I found it both interesting and helpful.

Read This Book If

You’d like to explore an exceptionally unique autistic person’s mind and viewpoint on life. Parents, professionals, teachers, and fellow autistics might find commonalities in reading this book. Jory Fleming is eloquent in his way, and Winik guides you through the topics, flowing one into the next. It makes you think. I enjoyed it.