I’m really struggling this week, so please have this article passed to me by a fellow advocate.
Like the author, I find there’s a general discomfort people display when interacting with people with disabilities. The way we’re treated can vary wildly. The experience ranges from simply ignoring the person to treating them like a helpless baby that needs your help for everything.
You could consider me “fortunate” in that my disabilities are more or less invisible. Autism doesn’t typically have physical differences. Neither does depression, nor does an anxiety disorder. Effectively, I walk among you, camouflaged to seem “normal.” A person trained to recognize autistic traits might recognize my autism, based on how I communicate and move. But the average person has no idea.
That is not always a kindness. When I break the illusion of normalcy, the reaction is often very negative. Because the observer is surprised as well as upset, they don’t handle the situation gracefully. Hurt feelings and unkind words are common. For example, I once had an acquaintance over to my home in college. We talked for hours, and accidentally ran my mental and emotional energy out. As a result, I had to rather ungracefully have the acquaintance leave so I could recuperate. The suddenness really hurt her feelings, and that’s likely part of why we don’t talk any more.
In contrast, visible disabilities are ones you can see. An amputee, or someone in a mobility device or wheelchair, are obvious examples. There is typically no escape from the recognition. Additionally, some people decide, upon recognizing the disability, that the person must need their help. The implied assumption is that there’s no way the disabled person could handle the situation by themselves, or that it’s just too painful to watch them struggle. Either assumption is degrading.
The article doesn’t use these precise words, but the autism community has a quick way of saying some of the advice in this article: “Presume Competence.” Basically, make the assumption that the disabled person can handle things themself. A disability, visible or not, does not necessarily mean the person can’t navigate daily life. Many of us find workarounds for ourselves over time. They simply aren’t intuitive to a non-disabled person.
Autism as a Disability
This is a bit of a debate. I would personally argue that yes, it is. In part because of the structural ableism and prejudice in our culture, laws, and society. The way others treat us and the opportunities made available to us impact our ability to thrive and grow.
In short, the social model of disability applies here.
I don’t personally think that covers everything, though. Even if you fixed other peoples’ behavior and the systems we live and work in, some autistic people still have significant medical issues. I don’t even mean things like cerebral palsy or epilepsy, although those also exist.
No, what I mean is things like needing a dairy-free diet, or really high grade air purifiers. Our biological processes can be really, really fragile. If one tomato molds in my house, I begin falling into a depressive state. If I were to drink a glass of milk, I would be in a bad mood in 15 minutes. And the bad mood would last at least a day.
Some days I have trouble communicating my needs, emotions, and thoughts. Even days when I’m alone, that can be true.
So I don’t feel the social model of disability explains all those things. Even if I wish it did, so I could just blame others for my hardships.
I hope you find this article as helpful as I did. Even among disabled people, there’s a lot of variety. And I myself, as a person with invisible disabilities, would probably hesitate and make mistakes when talking to someone with visible disabilities. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s good to educate yourself ahead of time to avoid making mistakes, though. And that’s why this article exists!
realisticautistic 