A Dream: What Might Be

I had a dream. Last Saturday was my last known weekend for a while. I woke up at like 6am, because apparently my body loves a schedule even while it’s exhausted. But after eating a bit and lying in bed for a couple hours, I made it back to sleep.

I rarely dream, but I tend to pay attention when I do. Sometimes they’re sad. But not always.

Friends, Together

I dreamt of a group of friends, meeting at a restaurant I couldn’t name, but was cozy and dimly lit. Though a couple faces were familiar (Chris, my spouse, and Simon, a person I don’t count as a friend anymore due to his decisions…) most faces I didn’t recognize. Yet each friend (there were at least 7) was familiar and comfortable. We were gathered there to play a tabletop RP game like D&D together.

In this dream, I was DMing (running the game while the others played), and I’d only had minimal time to prepare because of my work. But it didn’t matter, because everyone was having so much fun. Laughter and jokes were frequent. The game got offtrack sometimes but it didn’t matter because everyone was enjoying the experience. There was some drama, but it didn’t bother me for some reason. Perhaps because I knew everyone liked each other and would just get over it. Or perhaps because I’d finally perfected the skill of disengaging and trusting people to be adults about resolving their issues.

A Valued Time

Regardless, we were playing some kind of high fantasy game, but it was a heavily homebrewed thing. I thought D&D, but thinking back on the class names, they’re not from any edition I’m aware of. We played until everyone got hungry, after which we ordered food. There was something for everyone at this restaurant, even me with my incredibly strict no-dairy, no inhumane meat, whole-foods-only thing.

As we were chattering and waiting for food, a couple of the players went off together and did some character development on the side. Because the world and those characters mattered to them and sparked their creativity. After they got back, I offered to run this game every week. I told everyone I had really limited time for prep, so they’d probably only get shallow things like “a quest to kill a particular monstrous pig because a nobleman wanted to eat its bacon.” Somehow, everyone was fine with that. Several jokes were sparked off the bacon idea, and everyone agreed they wanted to do this every week. I felt proud that I was going to be able to help provide this experience for everyone.

A Nation, Known

As we were settling down at the table, I noticed a TV in the corner was playing some kind of video. But instead of an advert for the latest probably-useless product, it was a short piece saluting and depicting immigrants in the US. And acknowledging their importance, and that all of us are descended of immigrants if you trace our ancestries back far enough.

At the beginning, it shunned and called out white supremacy for the lie that it is. But the focus of the movie was really more on the countries from which we all came. There were these little animations with country flags, representing people or populations from those countries. Eventually the shape of the US was formed in the flags of those other countries. This was accompanied by triumphant music.

With my friends, I watched this and put my hand over my heart, acknowledging patriotism and support of this country where differences are strength, and all people have value. I began waking up, but held onto this dream as long as I could. It was perfect and beautiful in ways I may never experience in this life, and I wanted to at least write it down.

What Might Be

This is not the country I live in. It’s the country I wish I lived in. As a nation, we began with immigrants from Europe butchering and displacing the First People nations that lived here. That behavior continues to this day. We begrudgingly allow immigrants into the country (sometimes), but often relegate them to jobs nobody else will take. Such is exactly the case in the job at the food factory, where I find the conditions utterly intolerable. But Spanish is spoken freely and fluently on the floor between most of the line workers. They’ve built a community of sorts, even as the job and the need for money eats away at their lives and souls.

I can’t honestly say whether any of the people in my D&D-esque friend group were black or brown. My focus was less on their faces and identities (save the surprise of the inclusion of one), and more on the atmosphere and interplay between them. For my own sake, I hope so. I didn’t have visible minority friends growing up, and I’m afraid it probably shows in how long it took me to recognize how bad things really are for black and brown people.

Likelihood

I can’t decide if this thing I dreamed is even possible in real life. My sense of reality suggests the first part, with the friends, might be. Maybe not those exact friends, but a friend group like it is a possible thing. It wouldn’t have to be a restaurant. Could be someone’s house, or a park, or whatever. Somewhere everyone could be comfortable.

As for the broader change in the US… well… it’s what I hope for. It’s what I advocate for, when I can. I vote for it when the option is there. I’m old enough to know change typically doesn’t happen quickly. In the dream I felt like I was in my 20s… But at the rate of change I’ve seen…. I’d almost guess I’d’ve had to be at least 60 years old. Maybe even 80.

I won’t rule out real life being able to deliver this dream, if I worked hard for it. I’d need to make friends actively, which is really hard now that I’m working full time. Learn how to improv, so I could run a game off-the-cuff like that. Both of these things are possible, but would have been quite difficult for me in the past.

Are they possible now? I’m not sure.

I also can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been shown a small portion of heaven. That perhaps this dream is not truly achievable in this life.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was, though?