So yesterday I went off to face a personal demon I’ve carried for years. I’ve had a rocky relationship with my only brother and his wife for years. The reasons were complicated, and not entirely anyone’s fault. I’ve been a lot harder to deal with in the past, because of all the trauma and pain.
It’s funny, because I’m not actually that different a person. I’m just a different experience now that I’m not depressed.
So I strapped a glass straw across my chest. Over my heart, in fact. In its cloth carrying case, tucked under my bra so it wouldn’t move. Like armor. Something to shield and save me, remind me that even if my family dislikes and wishes me away, there are still other people that care and matter.
The sheer absurdity of strapping a breakable glass item on, like it was armor, had me laughing pretty hard as I drove out to face my fate.
Edit a few months in the future: the family event actually went way better than I expected. All is not fixed. But some positive steps were taken.
realisticautistic 