Grocery Shopping on a Special Diet: Soup, Crackers, and So Much Candy

Welcome back to my autism-aware shopping trip through the grocery store.  Week by week, I\’m showing you what the store sells, prune down the selection to what\’s safe for me (because autistic people can have very sensitive systems) and point out various gotchas the store tries to make you buy stuff you didn\’t come for. 

As a reminder, I shop with the following conditions in mind:

  • dairy-free
  • low sugar
  • avoid ultraprocessed junk
  • avoid food coloring
  • conditional vegetarianism
  • avoid high histamine foods
  • awareness of gluten-free options and sugar-free options
Last week we met the pasta, \”world foods,\” and sauce aisles, and found out my grocery store thinks \”world foods\” means snacks.  So many snacks.  With the occasional cooking staple thrown in for spice.  I guess if you want actual ethnic food, you\’re better off hitting up an ethnic food store.  We also learned sauces are sugar bomb traps.  Pasta sauce especially, but BBQ sauce and salad dressing, too.  
Onward to the soup and crackers!

Unlike weeks prior, I\’m literally going to walk the whole way down one side of this aisle, then come back for the other side.  There\’s no continuity between one side and the other, so it makes the most sense to do it this way.

Maybe fittingly for someone that makes stuff from scratch a lot, we start with broth and stock.  There\’s a dozen varieties of chicken broth and beef broth.  Why, I have no idea.  It\’s pretty basic stuff.  Notice what\’s missing, by the way?  Beef and chicken are major meats, but… we\’re missing pork products here.  Ham stock is a thing, but you can\’t buy it here.  Or most anywhere in the US.  Why?  I\’m not 100% sure, but I\’d bet the pet food industry is a factor.  
I always opt for the third option presented here, by the way: vegetable broth.  It definitely doesn\’t have the same flavor in soups and such, but it\’s not that big of an adjustment in recipes.  

Into your basic canned soups.  Most soup is off limits to me, because the base is often chicken.  If not chicken, probably beef.  I still eat tomato soup, and cheese-based soups are also a thing, but both have their failings (high histamines and dairy, respectively).  Cream of ____ is also not a good plan, because more dairy.  

Yep.  The soup aisle comes with its own snack section.  This isn\’t even the only snack section in this side of the aisle.  I\’m sure the manufacturers would style these \”lunch options\” or something that doesn\’t contain the word \”snack\” but.  Come on.  These aren\’t big or thick enough to be a whole meal, and they certainly don\’t have enough vegetable content.  Beyond the convenience bit, more canned soups.  Soup isn\’t that hard to make, but cracking open a can is even easier.  You have your choice of brand, too.  

The soup section tapers off into this.  \”But we were already in the pasta section last time!\” you might protest.  Yeah, I don\’t know either.  Anyway, here\’s the ramen.  Friend of budgeteers everywhere, this stuff will give you calories… but it has basically no nutritional content.  The ones that say chicken and beef and whatever, though?  They definitely have chicken or beef content, so those are out for me.  
On the far right side, Snacks the Second, with the Cup O\’ Noodles type of packages.  Add hot water, stir after a couple minutes, and consume.  You pay extra money for that packaging, though, and of course it goes right in the trash when you\’re done, and then into the landfill.  

This is actually more Snacks the Second, rather than Snacks the Third.  I guess one section of convenience soups wasn\’t sufficient.  These are actual cans, but they have an easy-open top, so you don\’t need to retrieve the can opener.  The options here vary, but they\’re all Italian-influenced ones.  Canned ravioli seems kind of gross in theory, but if you\’re hungry enough, it\’s tasty.  
I get to skip this section almost entirely because of the meat and dairy content.  

Speaking of meat content!  Did you know canned chicken is a thing?  I don\’t know how you\’re allowed to call something fresh if it\’s been canned, but uh.  This exists, at any rate.  I associate that can shape with tuna, not chicken, but I guess it serves either way.

The tuna fish still exists, naturally.  Along with sardines, shrimp, salmon, and mackerel.  The fishing industry has apparently responded at some point to the fears of heavy metals in their products, because there\’s no reason to name your brand SafeCatch otherwise.  Also, see at the top right there?  Snack tuna fish.  

You may also have Spam, corned beef, and canned chili (with or without beans).  I have never knowingly ingested Spam, and I probably never will.  I\’m told it\’s an acquired taste.  For something like this, \”acquired taste\” means, to me, \”this is bad and you have to trick yourself into believing it\’s good.\”
On to the crackers, which are the other side of the aisle.  So many crackers.

So hey, remember how there\’s a snack section in basically every aisle so far?  We\’re now reaching the actual snack aisles.  I\’ll try to be more specific than just stating that everything is ultraprocessed…
For example, Cheezits.  Tasty.  Low sugar, even.  Dairy, though.  Same with Goldfish crackers.  Like almost everything in this aisle, not gluten-friendly.  

I made sure to get a picture of this section specifically.  Triscuits and Wheat Thins are two brands you can consume with less worry about your guts afterwards.  Both have used whole grains in their production processes from the beginning.  If you absolutely have to serve crackers and your party-goers aren\’t sensitive to gluten, either of these will do in a pinch.  

If your party-goers are gluten-sensitive, though, here\’s your section.  I\’m sorry to say I haven\’t tried most of these, but at least they exist.  

Saltines.  Someone once told me saltines are only eaten when you\’re sick because if you can\’t keep them down, you haven\’t wasted food you care about.  Apologies to anyone who does like saltines.  Note the brown version in the middle.  I say \”brown\” because it actually says nothing about the whole grain content.  And of course all saltines are made from wheat flour, so…  

Extra-snacky crackers and cookies, packaged in small containers for your convenience.  I\’m actually not sure why cookies are sneaking into this aisle, except that I guess it\’s the same packaging setup.  Little plastic sleeves with sandwiched crackers and cheese paste, or cookies with frosting paste.  Favorite grab snacks for events and lunches, in my experience.  Again, it\’s ultraprocessed, nutritionless, and sometimes even sugar bombs.  

Are graham crackers a cracker or a cookie?  They\’re sweet, so I kind of want to say cookie.  Regardless, here they are.  You may have your choice of five basic brands, plus shaped snack versions because this is the US and we must have our snacks.  Watch the sugar content on the snack versions, it tends to be higher to appeal to children more.

And last but not least for this aisle, cookies.  Yes, cookies are now crackers.  Don\’t look at me, I don\’t know.  Anyway, we have now shed any pretense of healthiness.  These are unrepentantly sugar-bombs, with some \”sugar free\” exceptions.  

There\’s a type of cookie that\’s a layered bar shape.  They\’re often chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry flavored, and intensely sugary.  These come in \”sugar free\” varieties, if you look closely.  They\’re sweetened with aspartame, which gives me headaches.  If you recall from the baking aisle section, it\’s on the \”best avoided\” list.  I didn\’t check every package of sugar free cookies, but most listed one or more of those substances to avoid.  
Again, if you want to avoid sugar in your food, look for stuff sweetened with erythritol, stevia, and monk fruit.  Aspartame is not your friend, and neither is sucralose.  
Also, how many varieties of cookies does a person need?  All of them, apparently.  
Next, snacks!  Nuts, ice cream fixings, granola bars, and candy.  Just… so much candy.  

Chocolate syrup and ice cream fixings.  I\’m not going to bother taking pictures of the calorie counts and sugar levels of these products.  You know they\’re bad.  I know they\’re bad.  You only eat these because you\’re treating yourself.  Sugar bombs, but at least they\’re honest ones.  

Snack nuts.  Mostly peanuts, but there\’s some mixed nut options and specifics like pistachios as well.  Tree nuts (note: not peanuts) are a common allergen, but they\’re very good for you.  Protein and aminos in one convenient crunchy package.  It\’s a shame nuts are high histamine foods…  
This is actually not the only section of nuts in the store, but the other is located quite far away and we\’ll get to it near the end of this series.

Applesauce.  Note the staggering variety of \”snack\” options.  The brighter and more colorful the package, the higher the sugar content.  Gotta poison those kiddos early.  When you buy applesauce, look for the no sugar added option, because that\’s the only way this isn\’t sugar bombs.  

Convenience canned fruit.  I\’m most fond of the mandarin oranges, but I rarely get them.  The 100% juice versions are a trap: juice is just sugar water with vitamin C, and it\’s not even going to be the same juice as the fruit in the cup.  Notably, some of these options are \”no sugar added\” and some are even sweetened with monk fruit, so there are actual semi-healthy options here… you just have to look really hard for them.  The plastic cups are awful for the environment though.

Right next to the fruit: pudding and jello.  Yeah, because the canned and sugared up fruit wasn\’t snacky enough.  More terrible plastic cups, of course.  I can say this, at least: there are dairy-free puddings and gelatin-free jellos (they use carageenen instead).  So there\’s options here for me if I want to buy something unrepentantly snacky.  Nothing sugar-free that isn\’t horrifying, though, so my mother, with her allergy to cane sugar, is out of luck.  

Continuing the massively unhealthy trend, fruit snacks.  Make no mistake.  These are candy.  The pitiful amount of vitamin C in these can\’t hope to make up for the sugar, artificial colors, and calories they contain.  I\’m personally fond of Gushers but they are truly awful for me, so I rarely get them.  

As an aside?  This is one of two sections in the store where aisles connect in the middle, and it\’s because this is the heart of the store.  That is, this is the candy aisle, and the break here leads to the chips.  We\’ll meet the other pair of joined sections soon.  

Speaking of candy, here\’s a shot of basically half an aisle… and it\’s all candy.  Mints, chocolate-covered etc, gummies, hard candies, compressed sugar candies, dozens of types of candy bars, gum…  the US appetite for variety in candy is practically limitless.  I didn\’t bother getting more than one picture here because although they\’re honest sugar bombs, they\’re still sugar bombs.  Often sugar bombs loaded with artificial colors.  I typically don\’t even go into this aisle because of all the things I can\’t have here.

We now begin our foray into the other candy bars: the ones that pretend to be healthy.  We start with something significantly more honest…

Marshmallow and cereal treats are pretty unhealthy and most folks know it.  Let\’s look at the calories, sugar, and serving size.  90 calories, 8 grams of sugar, for 22 grams of marshmallow treat.  That\’s kind of awful, but again, at least it\’s honest.  

Now let\’s compare to an offering from Nature Valley, clearly touting itself as healthy and nutritious… 170 calories, and 9 grams of sugar, for 35 grams of granola bar.  That\’s… worse.  Significantly worse.  Sugar bomb!

Wait, why is everything dessert flavored?  Seriously, my pictures are a random sample of what\’s available, and everything is brownies and chocolate and peanut butter with the faintest hint of fruit, maybe.  
90 calories, 7 grams of sugar, for 24 grams of granola bar.  That\’s about on par with the marshmallow treat.  

Oh look, one for kids.  Brand: Rx Kids.  Surely this one will be healthy and full of nutrients?  
Nope, 130 calories, 10 grams of sugar, and no nutrient levels worth mentioning, in 33 grams of granola bar.  The doctor that wrote this prescription should be sued for malpractice.  This is just another cleverly marketed (and morally devoid) sugar bomb.  

What about the fancier brands?  KIND is supposed to be good for you.  160 calories, and 11 grams of sugar in 40 grams of granola bar.  Sorry KIND, I don\’t think your amaranth, millet, rice, buckwheat, and quinoa can make up for the fact that you\’re the worst by far.  Or perhaps you\’re only KIND to yourselves, by padding your wallets on lies?  

As disgusted with this aisle as I am, I did find a couple options that weren\’t completely hideous.  The reduced sugar variety of Chewy is still high on the calories (90) but only poisons you with 5 grams of sugar.  That\’s still far too much, but it\’s… an improvement.  

And then there\’s this, which is the very best I could find in the aisle.  100 calories and 3 grams of sugar for 25 grams of granola bar.  I actually bought one of these.  They taste okay, but they\’re tiny and don\’t have a very strong flavor.  The texture also leaves something to be desired… but that\’s compared to sugar bombs, after all.  

I typically don\’t take pictures of the endcaps/impulse buys… but this was too much to stomach.  So, bonus horror, found by the spice aisle:
Did you know Family Time means sugar bombs?  I didn\’t realize family time needed to involve poisoning myself.  Thanks for clearing that up, grocery store!
That takes care of aisles 10 and 9.  Remember, granola bars are sugar bombs (shop very carefully!), and I\’ll see you next time for the other half of the snack aisle (chips!) and various refreshing drinks.  

Grocery Shopping on a Special Diet: Pasta, "World Foods" and Sauces

Welcome back to my autism-aware shopping trip through the grocery store.  Week by week, I\’m showing you what the store sells, prune down the selection to what\’s safe for me (because autistic people can have very sensitive systems) and point out various \”gotchas\” the store tries to make you buy- stuff you didn\’t come for and don\’t need. 

As a reminder, I shop with the following conditions in mind:

  • dairy-free
  • low sugar
  • avoid ultraprocessed junk
  • avoid food coloring
  • conditional vegetarianism
  • avoid high histamine foods
  • awareness of gluten-free options and sugar-free options
Last week we met the baking aisle and the milk and cheese parts of the dairy aisle.  We learned there about eleventy billion types of sweeteners, and most of them are bad for autistic people, found two different \”snack\” sections in the dairy section, and yet another in the baking aisle.  Sensing a trend?  
Onward, to the pasta, \”world foods,\” and taco aisle!
I like a lot of things in this aisle, at least in theory.  

As promised, the pasta section.  Many brands, many types of noodles, decision paralysis central.  Almost invariably this is all ultra-processed.  Whole grain noodles exist, but on account of them having a stronger flavor than the typical ones, there isn\’t as much demand or selection.  
There are some alternatives if you\’re health conscientious or gluten-free, but I have yet to have really good reports on any particular type of wheat noodle substitute.  At any rate, at least there\’s something available.

Tortillas and taco kits, and also my finger at the top there. Oops.  Tortillas and taco shells, like pasta, mainly come in nutrient-deficient varieties and in various sizes.  A couple whole grain options are available, but again, you may not be able to get exactly what you were looking for.

Next, assorted taco seasoning packets and sauces.  You always want to check the latter for their sugar content, because unfortunately that\’s where the sugar sneaks in.  Imported items typically have less sneaky sugar, but it\’s always smart to check.  

How many kinds of refried beans does a person need?!  But this is also pickled peppers, bags of rice, and cans of whole beans.  Notably, many of these varieties of refried beans have lard (an animal product) mixed into them for extra flavor.  I have to buy the vegetarian type.  

Aww, but we were doing so well…  Hello, sugar bombs!  Coca Cola from Mexico (ie: sweetened with cane sugar, not high fructose corn syrup), and various less US-recognizable sugary drinks.  To my great and abiding disappointment, the peach nectar drink up there has very little to do with actual peach juice.  As I mentioned during the first installment of this grocery store exploration, juice is also sugar bombs.  But, I have a soft spot for peach juice because I drank it every morning when I visited Greece for a couple weeks in school.  Every day there was an adventure, and so I miss the flavor.

Cheese products (spread, sauce, or perhaps \”ooze\”) plus many kinds of canned salsa and guacamole.  Maybe it\’s because I lack imagination, but I\’m pretty happy with a mild salsa, and if I want something fancier I\’ll make it.  I dunno.  At any rate, many brands, many options.  
Back to the pasta side of things: it\’s the choice paralysis-inducing selection of red sauce.  Off my picture, I can count 14 brands of sauce, and I\’m pretty sure there\’s at least 6 more down the way.  You\’d think red sauce would pretty much just be savory, right?  

Yeah.  Red sauce is sugar bombs.  Depressing.  
The good news is that there\’s still some you can find in this vast sea of options that are low sugar.  You just have to hunt really hard for them.  I try to get mine with 3 grams of sugar per serving or less.  

Apropos of literally nothing, here\’s the gluten-free section.  Why the pasta aisle?  Why right in the middle?  Is it to make gluten-free people grumpy because they have to walk by so much gluten to get there?  I have no idea.  
The section is mostly snacks, which is even worse… but down at the bottom you can find the Cup For Cup brand baking mixes, which I used to make a pretty okay pie crust from this year for my gluten-free black razz pie.  You\’ll also note some extra pasta options, \”bread crumbs,\” and premade pie crusts and cake mixes.  

Right back to the pasta stuff without batting an eye.  I really don\’t understand the logic in these arrangements, but here\’s the parmesan cheese and extra fixings for your pasta sauce.  Including canned mushrooms.  Ew.  Also on the lower shelves, pizza options.  Pizza sauce, pizza kits, and premade pizza crusts, including a gluten-free cauliflower option.  
What\’s that you say?  There weren\’t enough snacks in this aisle?  Don\’t worry, the powers that be agree with you!

Ahem.  So, this is (I guess) the rest of the world foods section.  We had the sugar bomb drinks earlier, but now we also have various British and pan-European snack options.  It\’s just as well I wasn\’t hungry when I took these pictures, because I\’ve had several of those Stroopwaffels on airplanes and now I kind of want some.  
The first picture is more pan-Asian snacks and convenience foods, including sugar bomb drinks at the bottom, wasabi peas, Pocky, and savory snacks.  
It doesn\’t matter.  It\’s all ultraprocessed and nutrient-free.  

Bleeding into the pan-Asian snacks is the Asian sauces section.  No particular care is given to what part of Asia was involved with which sauce, as teriyaki sauce (Japanese) is just a single shelf down from kimchi (Korean) sauce, and just a few more shelves down is Indian curry of various types.  Slightly more care is given to these things in Asian food stores in the US, but not much.  On behalf of my entire country, I apologize for our incredible ignorance of the differences between Asian countries.  

And because we definitely didn\’t have enough snacks on our trip through this aisle, here\’s some imported candy, sweets, and just enough pantry essentials to let the store pretend it\’s offering things besides snacks.
Based on the matzos and latke (potato pancake) mix, I guess this section is meant to serve Jewish cooking needs as well, though I\’ll have to keep an eye out for anything in the meat section calling itself kosher.  Nothing comes to mind, to be perfectly honest.  

Next aisle: canned and bottled stuff!  Beans, pickles, canned veggies.  Also salad dressing, ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce, etc.  
Canned tomatoes of many varieties, with and without flavorings.  Diced tomatoes, slices, stewed chunks, and sauce.  You can find versions with Italian herbs mixed in, or Tex-Mex versions with seasonings and even jalapeno pepper chunks.  Tomatoes are either a high histamine food or a histamine-releaser food… and either way, I mostly avoid them.  You\’re going to hear me talk about histamines a lot in this aisle.

Canned vegetables.  The number of options here is a little dizzying.  Industrial canning unfortunately tends to destroy some of the nutritional content of vegetables, so my mother tended to use fresh or frozen versions rather than these.  But I\’ve had canned green beans in hot lunch at school.  Ick.  Canned vegetables are also higher in histamines, which means I\’m better off avoiding them.  I think the only exception to my blanket \”nope\” for this aisle is canned corn, which I\’ll use if fresh isn\’t available.  
Corn isn\’t a vegetable, by the way.  It\’s a grain.

Beans.  Protein source for vegetarians everywhere.  I only recall eating kidney and refried beans growing up, but that\’s most likely because I didn\’t pay attention.  There are a staggering variety of beans.  This last year or so I\’ve learned to appreciate cannellini beans, but there\’s still great northern beans and pinto beans and a lot more.  Baked beans are typically sugar bombs, by the way.

Vinegar.  This is a very high histamine food, and so is pretty much anything made with it.  It also wrecks my spouse\’s guts, so despite all the interesting flavors on the left, we just keep walking.  My mother says you can substitute lemon juice for vinegar in many recipes, and it\’s much kinder to the gut.  I\’ve yet to try this trick, but it seems potentially valuable.  

Pickles.  Again, a high histamine food.  Histamines make me feel like I\’m dying, a bit.  And the foods high in them taste bad to me, so I typically avoided them anyway.  It\’s a shame because fermented foods can be really good for your gut.  They can help restore a balance of bacteria, or even introduce new beneficial bacteria.  

Gravy type sauces.  I actually have no idea how difficult it is to make gravy from scratch because I typically only see gravy packets and such, like these.  I also don\’t eat gravy much because it\’s almost invariably full of inhumanely handled animal products.  It\’s definitely tasty when I do get to have it, though. 
Hot sauce, steak sauce, barbecue/barbeque sauce, ketchup, and mustard.  Watch the sugar content on the BBQ sauce and the ketchup.  Even a couple grams in a tablespoon serving adds up very fast in meals.  

Bread crumbs.  Yeah, there\’s a whole section just for bread crumbs.  Including gluten-free ones.  What can I say? USians love our breaded and fried foods.  

Rice!  Everything from the typical nutritionless, fiberless white rice to brown rice and wild rice, or mixed varieties.  It\’s mostly white rice, because that\’s the staple and people aren\’t used to rice with actual flavor.  
Did you know there\’s hundreds of types of rice?  I can name Jasmine and Basmati rice but there\’s also Jata, Kebo, Gharib, Ariete, Hieri, Murni, Khushbu, and a ton more.  There\’s types used to make rice wine, glutinous and non-glutinous types, red and black rice, aromatic rice…  Rice also comes in long grain, short grain, and medium grain varieties.  While all the varieties I named above are from other countries, even the US has dabbled in creating rice varieties.  
You can only find a few kinds of rice here, but it\’s enough to serve most USians.  On the far side of this section and at the top: convenience rice meal starters.  Basically, rice package with seasonings and/or sauce powder.  Toss in a protein and a heaping helping of vegetables and you basically have a meal.  
The convenience rice section bleeds right into the convenience pasta section, which is the same sauce powder/spices deal, but with noodles instead.  Obviously, your options for gluten-free are limited… although they\’re not nonexistent.  The other thing to watch out for here is cheese.  We love dairy in the US, and cheese features prominently in this section.  If it\’s not parmesan or cheddar, it\’s some kind of cheese ooze (Velveeta) or similar ideas.  
I actually don\’t hate Velveeta, as it\’s much lower dairy content than most of what\’s in this aisle.  It\’s relatively safe for me and my spouse (who is lactose-intolerant) to consume, so we keep some onhand.  
The problem, of course, is that like white rice, regular noodles convert very quickly in the gut to sugar, so eating noodles is nearly as bad for you as eating sugar straight.  Which is why these meal starters, while comforting to have around, are very firmly in the \”sometimes treat\” territory.  

Honorable mention to the several feet wide section for the health-conscientious-but-still-likes-Mac\’n\’cheese crowd.  The stuff here ranges from organic (eh) to goat cheese or pseudocheese (for dairy-sensitive people) to gluten-free noodles.  

Suddenly, salad stuff!  Croutons and salad dressing.  Mostly the latter.  Croutons, bacon bits, onion bits, and etc. are fine, but I never bother with them.  Salad dressing, on the other hand…  is a trap.  People eat salads because they want to be healthy, right?  Yeah, now look at the calorie counts on these.  

Two tablespoons of this, and you might as well have just had bacon crumbled over your salad.  Also, dairy!  This ranch isn\’t sugar bombs, but let\’s look a little further…
Yep, there it is.  90 calories for 2 tablespoons, but 8 grams of sugar.  Yikes.  Literally the first ingredient is sugar.  

Happy medium?  130 calories and 4 grams of sugar for 2 tablespoons.  Also this dressing seems to be full of vinegar and pickles, which is a bad plan for me and my histamine issues.  
So, if salad dressings are a trap, what do you do instead if you don\’t like the flavor of greens?  
I typically opt for olive oil, salt, and pepper, honestly.  Olive oil is noted to be good for you, and the salt and pepper adds enough that I don\’t get offput by the bitterness of the arugula or whatever else.  
That\’s aisles 12 and 11!  Next time, soups, crackers, nuts, granola, and we inch ever closer to the actual snacks aisles.  Because, y\’know, there weren\’t enough snacks in the rest of the store.  

Grocery Shopping on a Special Diet: The Baking Aisle + Milk and Cheese

Welcome back to my autism-aware shopping trip through the grocery store.  Week by week, I\’m showing you what the store sells, prune down the selection to what\’s safe for me to eat (because autistic people can have very sensitive systems) and point out various \”gotchas\” the store tries to make you buy- stuff you didn\’t come for and don\’t need.  

As a reminder, I shop with the following conditions in mind:

  • dairy-free
  • low sugar
  • avoid ultraprocessed junk
  • avoid food coloring
  • conditional vegetarianism
  • avoid high histamine foods
  • awareness of gluten-free options and sugar-free options

Last week was the impulse purchases on the way into the store, the yogurt, and the juice, coffee, and tea sections.  We learned that fruit juice and yogurt are a trap (check the sugar levels!), snack foods tend to sneak into every section in the store, and that the PH of bottled water varies quite widely.

This week: the rest of the dairy aisle, and then the baking aisle and friends!  Canned fruit, sugar, flour, PB&J.

It\’s now time for milk and its friends.  

The milk section.  All of this is moo juice.  Seriously.  I don\’t know how many kinds of milk a person really needs, but I once heard a guy from Europe make jokes about exactly this.  We have skim, 1% milkfat, 2% milkfat, whole milk, high protein milk, buttermilk, milk laced with omega 3 fatty acids, and \”humane\” (questionable) milk.  We have most of these varieties in 4-5 brands, including a store brand.  Who on Earth needs that much decision paralysis?  

By the way, I can\’t drink any of this or I\’ll have a massive mood crash.  Moving on!

Flavored milks!  Remember how I was showing you stealth sugar bombs in yogurt last week?  Yeah, here they are again.  Strawberry milk and chocolate milk are laced with sugar in order to make them craveable or whatever the word marketing firms are using these days.  

And here\’s the only section of use to me: the nondairy milks (part 1).  This is the refrigerated section, so everything is cold and ready to drink.  Note the variety: coconut, almond, soy, cashew, oat, and lactose-free moo juice varieties here.  There will actually be even more later, but suffice to say, no single variety has won the war for the hearts of conscientious USians.  
I personally tend to drink almond milk, mostly because I find the flavor the least objectionable.  I also like that it lasts about twice as long as moo juice.  I don\’t drink milk every day, or even on a regular basis, so having something that lasts longer in the fridge is worth extra money to me.  

Coffee creamer.  Yes, all four of those doors.  Once again, I don\’t drink coffee.  But keep in mind the sugar content of those flavored things.  Because yeah.  Sugar bomb!  (There are some dairy-free options in there if I ever decided to start making lattes and such though.)

Sour cream, cottage cheese, snacks related to both those things, and flavored varieties.  I sulked a little bit when I saw the cottage cheese.  I used to love cottage cheese.  I still do, but it hates me (dairy!), so I basically never buy it any more.  It\’s a dratted shame, because there\’s a really good waffle recipe that uses it and I miss that too.

Hey, remember the milk section and choice paralysis?  Welcome to the egg section!  We have several brands of eggs, but we also have confusing labels!  \”Cage free\” is supposed to mean the birds are never caged, but there\’s no regulation for the label, so it effectively means nothing!  Hooray…  

Please note, that doesn\’t mean the chickens in question aren\’t cage-free.  It just means I have literally no way of knowing if that\’s true.  And I\’m not inclined to trust a major corporation with my morality.  At the moment I\’m getting all my eggs from a local farm, but in times past I\’ve bought the some of the packages on the far left.  The reason being that they have the Certified Humane label on them.

If that label is there, the animals involved with the product were fed appropriate food (chickens are omnivores fyi), had appropriate space, and were treated like living creatures rather than objects to produce profit.  I love finding this label on animal products, but it\’s fairly rare unfortunately.  The Certified Humane website has their standards transparently available on their website for anyone that cares to read them.  You don\’t need a degree in Animal Sciences to understand it, either.  I don\’t know exactly what a bell drinker is (some kind of water container for chickens), but I don\’t particularly need to.  

If this seems very small for the block cheese section, it\’s because this is the \”regular\” block cheese.  If you want the fancy block cheese you gotta go to a different part of the store, specifically the far side of the fruits and vegetables section.

Directly after the block cheese is… snacks.  Yeah.  String cheese, cheese bites, dips, cheese spread (part 1).  While the cheese itself is only bad for you because it\’s dairy, the stuff they package with the cheese is often a convenient hiding place for sugar or ultraprocessed garbage.  For example, crackers and pretzels are devoid of nutritional content (but boy they\’re cheap).  Cream cheese is often laden with sugar, never mind the bagel chips.  And of course cheese spreads often have a higher sugar content because, once again, sugar gets everywhere.

After the snacks (part 1) we get into a truly staggering number of shredded cheese options.  I had to stand a good ways down an aisle to get this picture.  You\’ll notice that for how big this section is, it\’s really only two brands offered plus a smattering of smaller ones at the right end.  The US loves its cheese, though, clearly.  

We then move to the conveniently sliced cheese, in case you wanted perfectly square thin slices of cheese.  Also for if you\’re too lazy to buy a block and slice your own.  I\’m pretty sure most USians fall into the latter camp.  Again, I can\’t eat any of this because it will tank my mood faster than you can say, \”But why would we eat this much dairy if it\’s so bad for us?\”

Remember how we had snacks already?  Yeah, well.  Now it\’s more snacks time.  This is where the cheese section meets the meats section, so these snacks have both.  Shoutout to Lunchables, which I never buy anymore for obvious reasons but miss having sometimes.  Also?  The vast majority of USian humans do not lack for protein in our diets, so these snacks are pretty superfluous.  Moreso than most snacks, I mean.  I guess as snacks go they\’re at least somewhat healthier than other snacks?  At any rate, they\’re both loaded with dairy and the meat is likely inhumanely produced, so I just keep walking…  

Notable mention to a tiny, tiny corner between the shredded cheese and the pre-sliced squares of cheese.  This is the dairy-free section, and this is all you get.  One brand, two shredded cheese flavors, two sliced cheese flavors, and no blocks of cheese at all.  

Suffice it to say I typically shop for cheese substitutes elsewhere.

And now, the baking aisle!  Lucky number 13.  Maybe it\’s only lucky for me and my spouse, but I\’ll take it.  

I\’m not sure why PB&J is a baking need, but whatever, I guess.  

Sugar and sweeteners are a special kind of hell for people who have to be careful with their bodies. There\’s a million non-sugar sweeteners and almost all of them are awful for you. 

So there\’s the classic: cane sugar.  My mother is allergic to it, which makes most of this aisle useless when keeping her needs in mind.  Mine, personally, simply revolve around not putting too much of this stuff into my system.  That\’s actually easier to do when you\’re making your own stuff, because then you literally control how much sugar goes into the recipe.  

Other options available here include your typical brown sugar (which is just cane sugar coated in molasses), corn syrups (eww…), various Stevia options (okay healthwise but not great for baking due to it not being a 1-to-1 substitute with sugar), agave syrups (fine, but only when liquid sweetener is an option), and sweetener blends.  

For the lattermost, the blends vary in their usefulness based on what\’s in them.  Most artificial sweeteners are bad news for the sensitive guts and leaky blood-brain-barriers of autistic people, so stuff like aspartame, saccharin, and sucralose are off the table.  

When I shop for sugar substitutes, I tend to buy sugar alcohols, like xylitol and erythritol, or better yet, a natural option like monk fruit sweetener.  When baking a recipe I\’m willing to experiment with, I\’ll typically substitute half the sugar for monk fruit or a mix of these natural sweeteners.  

Notably missing here is my mother\’s go-to for sugar: beet sugar.  Michigan grows a crop of sugar beets, and these can be turned into granulated sugar just like sugar cane can be.  For reasons unknown, beet sugar doesn\’t harm my mother.  So I\’ll cook with that sometimes.  

PB&J. Jam and jelly are basically just flavored sugar spreads, so I avoid them.  The only exception this year was my homemade black raspberry pulp, which I used as jam.  I figured that was pretty safe since they\’re packed full of fiber and nutrients.

The peanut butter is almost inevitably full of chemicals and sugar, never mind peanuts being a major allergy for many people. I use sunflower seed butter when I eat this kind of food, so this entire section is pretty much ignored.  

Honey. It\’s delicious and I love it, but obviously it\’s a high sugar product. Use sparingly. Also, ideally you want to buy local (within a couple miles) honey, because that\’s made with local pollen and can help end your allergies by teaching your white blood cells that the pollen isn\’t trying to kill you.  I\’ll sometimes pick up a semi-local variety from here, but mostly I try to buy from neighboring farms.  

Baking supplies.  It\’s 2020 during the coronavirus pandemic, so they\’re out of yeast. Again. Thankfully I have some at home.

They\’re also out of the largest packages of flour.  Most of the flour here is your typical bleached-to-death, glutinous white flour, bereft of nutrition.  This is the first way food goes badly wrong.  Most commercial processes use white flour when making their products, which means the results lack the nutrition and fiber that they could otherwise offer. There are some packages of whole wheat flour, at least.

It\’s not all wheat offerings, thankfully.  Quinoa flour, almond flour, flaxseed meal, cornmeal, hemp hearts, and coconut flour are also available here. Also, fortunately, a gluten-free option flour mix from a major company.  Oddly enough, this isn\’t my go-to spot for baking gluten-free (there\’s a different spot elsewhere), but it\’s at least an option.  

Canned fruit. Typically used for pie fillings and that\’s about it now. The industrial canning process for these destroys much of their nutrition. I had canned fruit on occasion growing up, but as I make my pie fillings fresh, there\’s little point in buying any.  Moving on!

Dried fruit, chopped nuts, and candy for adding to cookies and baked goods. The dried fruit is basically candy with fiber and some vitamins. The chopped tree nuts are common allergens, and also high in histamines, so best avoided. The chocolate chips and other candy, obviously, is just sugar bombs.

Marshmallows and jello. Both ultra-refined foods. Sugar and more sugar, too. Jello has been off my consumption list for years because of the gelatin, most commonly made from cow hoof or bone.  Marshmallows as well, but if you look in the lower left, there\’s some packages of a brand called Dandies.  Those are gelatin-free, so when I feel like a marshmallow-y treat, those are what I turn to.  

Cooking oils. More selection than you\’d expect, with various kinds of coconut oil, seed and nut oils, ghee, and a truly absurd number of olive oil options. Fun fact: US regulations for olive oil are more stringent than ones in Europe, so if you want good quality oil that\’s sure to be actual olive oil and not flavored whatever-other-oil-was-lying-around, buy extra-virgin olive oil from California.

Premade pie fillings and crusts. In all honesty, pie filling is really easy to make, so I\’m not really sure why these are sold save for the specific flavor, I guess?  At any rate, it\’s all sugar bombs, so we just keep walking…

Evaporated and powdered cow milks, and also milk alternatives (part 2).  Even more options!  Remember the almond milk, soy milk, and cashew milk?  You may also buy hemp milk, oat milk, flax milk, macademia milk… and even goat milk.  

Also, see those handy-grab healthy milk drinks at the top? 

Sugar bombs. Surprise!  Definitely don\’t give these to your kids unless you want them to have diabetes.  

Spices. There\’s eleventy billion of them, but at least most of them are safe. The spice mixes aren\’t as safe, as they may contain powdered chicken or beef or pork.  That\’s fine for most autistic people, but not for me. Regardless, making your own spice mixes is an adventure and cheaper to boot.

It\’s a bit dizzying to try to sort through this section looking for powdered thyme or what have you, but here at least, there\’s no sugar bombs hiding in wait.  

Unlike here:  baking mixes. Almost entirely laden in gluten, and highly processed too.  Biscuits, cornbread, pancakes, muffins, cookies, brownies, and cakes. The sugar content on the desserts is obvious, but the cornbread, pancakes, and biscuits might depress you.

Cake fixings.  Otherwise known as, \”Oh look, more sugar!\” Also artificial colors, which are often Very Bad News for autistic people. 

One parent of an autistic kid noticed specifically that her son reacted very poorly to the color red.  If red food coloring was in his food, it was going to be bad times after he\’d eaten it.  I try to avoid them myself, just in case.  

And that\’s those done!  Next time it\’ll be the pasta and \”world foods\” aisle, and we\’ll see what a US corporation thinks represents the world… 

TV Show Review: Love on the Spectrum

Wellp.  I wasn\’t sure this day would ever come, but here we are, and it\’s thanks to one of my pastors at church.  He asked me my opinion of the show in a \”I want to learn more\” kind of way, so I looked into, well, this.  I\’m reviewing a TV show called \”Love on the Spectrum.\”  It\’s an exploration of dating and love, featuring an entire cast of autistic people from the UK.  

Full disclosure?  I don\’t really enjoy this kind of show.  I feel like this sort of thing isn\’t really television material, and putting a camera on it is bound to make it even more awkward and painful than it already was.  

I am pretty sure my feelings on that latter statement are 100% accurate in terms of what happened here.  Keep in mind that most people on the autism spectrum have at least some kind of anxiety problems.  Usually a full-on diagnosable anxiety disorder.  Now put a camera on them.  Now, guess how well they\’re going to function?

To be fair, the worse they are at communicating, the better the spectacle, at least to a point.  In terms of understanding the real autistic humans, though, this isn\’t really a good way to do it.  Maybe it\’s the only way some people can get inside our heads?  But it makes me shake mine, frankly.  

All of this, by the way, is before we even get into the pitfalls of \”dating\” and the absolute poisonous garbage we\’re fed about there being \”one true soulmate\” we have to find in the nearly 8 billion humans on Earth.  

When the participants in this show were asked, their definitions of an ideal partner ranged from, \”I would like the moon and the stars on a silver platter with platinum cutlery, please,\” to \”I would like someone that cares about me for me, rather than uses me for whatever they can get out of me.\”  Very rarely was there a happy medium there.  Often the criteria were superficial (appearances), with no apparent understanding of what makes a long-lasting relationship work.  While they seem to have avoided participants that just scream, \”I\’m so lonely and what I need to fix myself is a partner!\” at the camera, I still got that sense from many of the participants.

This isn\’t terribly surprising, to be honest.  Pop culture has no idea what makes a relationship work in the long term, because it isn\’t concerned with that.  It\’s concerned with having the most stunning, heated, passionate romance phase, and the rest of it be damned.  

The thing is, that\’s not what any of these autistic people were looking for.  No one going into this (to my memory) said, \”yeah, I\’d just like to have some fun with new people and see where stuff goes.\” Autistic people, being more isolated than most, tend to fall prey to the mentality that we\’ll somehow be normal if we just find a partner. So there\’s a fundamental mismatch there between the theme of these dating shows and what autistic people actually want.

Relatedly, the participants kept going on about a wanting to find a \”spark\” with the people they want to date.  I\’m honestly not sure what this means, but it\’s potentially a load of rubbish, to borrow a British phrase.  Sometimes you find that spark later, after you\’ve become friends with a person for a long while.  I never personally experienced love at first sight, and I\’m more than a little dubious that it exists, but even assuming it does, it\’s not an indicator that you\’ll be able to make a relationship last.  

My general experience with dating was typically not \”I\’m going out clubbing to find someone to date!\”  It was more, \”I\’d like more friends please, and… huh, we seem to be getting on quite well.  This one is maybe dating material, actually.\”  Which I think is maybe an approach that serves autistic people better overall.  If you can be good friends with someone, the chances that your relationship will survive years are significantly better than, \”oh, that one looks pretty and we have something in common, let\’s try!\”

Why yes, I am rather opinionated and withering about pop culture and dating, why do you ask?  

I\’ve been married to my spouse for nearly 4 years now (we dated for an additional 4 years prior to getting married), and at this point most of our relationship has not been the stuff the books and movies and songs all love to talk about.  It\’s been hard work and compromises and piles of communication and working things out.  We have a lot of things in common, and that helps a lot, but what\’s kept us together isn\’t that.  It\’s that we\’re both willing to listen to each other, value the other, and are willing to expend the significant amount of effort it takes to communicate our wants, needs, and feelings.  

Maybe that\’s well beyond the scope of the show, since it is a dating show.  But the name is \”Love on the Spectrum,\” not \”Dating and Maybe Marriage Proposals on the Spectrum.\”  

Anyway… I did not enjoy this show.  I have enough of a sense for body language and awkwardness to be made incredibly uncomfortable by the body language of basically everyone the camera was pointed at.  It was like watching awkward teenagers, only instead of a scene or two in an otherwise enjoyable movie, it was the whole thing.  I actually couldn\’t suffer my way through even a single episode without having some kind of distraction going so I didn\’t focus as much on the excruciating awkwardness.  

I actually had this same problem when watching Atypical, another show featuring an autistic person.  Though I didn\’t have the problem when watching Temple Grandin, the HBO movie about the famous autism self-advocate and PhD of Animal Sciences.  Is it because this show and Atypical both play up the awkwardness for the sake of spectacle?  I\’m not sure.

Are the autistic people in the show genuine?  Yeah, probably.  I\’d say you\’re getting higher anxiety versions of each of the people presented, and there\’s probably some \”I must perform for the camera, rather than be myself,\” because almost all humans do that when a camera is pointed at them.  Typically you need special training to not act like an idiot when a camera is pointed at you.  However, autistic people tend to be pretty genuine overall.

My favorite moment in the series was in the 4th episode when Olivia was asked what it\’s like to be a girl on the spectrum.  She replied: \”Extremely difficult, given that there\’s no girl criteria, it\’s only boy.  So you get assessed on how male you are.\”  

This is especially true in the UK, where the \”hyper male brain\” theory of autism is predominant.  Even in the US, though, the criteria and understanding of autism is based on our historical understanding… which is to say, mostly male children.  Autistic girls need not apply, even though we have difficulties and strengths too.  It is, frankly, quite irritating.  Longtime readers will probably recognize why:  

I am not male.  I am not particularly female either.  I am me, which is not \”a boy brain shoved into a girl\’s body.\”  My gender is \”bugger off with those teensy little gender boxes you want to put me in, thanks.\”  This isn\’t an uncommon state of mind for autistic people, which brings me to my next point.

Mostly, this show focused on cisgender interactions: straight male-presenting people attempting to date straight female-presenting people.  When it comes to autistic people, we tend to have more complex gender identities, and are often bisexual or pansexual.  So merely showing \”apparently a guy\” dating \”apparently a girl\” is a very specific choice on the part of the producers.  And not one that\’s very realistic these days.  Honorable mention goes to the single bisexual girl that went on dates with a boy, and then later a girl.  Still, that\’s the rule, not the exception the way they portray it.  

Also, I know this show is set in the UK, and people are predominantly white there, but autism absolutely affects people of all skin tones.  There was one autistic guy of Chinese descent in the show, and that was about it.  No people with heritages from India, the Middle East, or Africa.  This show was not a good representation of the spectrum in that regard.  That failing is pretty typical in modern media, but it still bears pointing out because hey guys, people of color exist and are relevant to these discussions!  Please stop ignoring them because it\’s easier to put white cis guys in front of the camera.  

Lastly, the show focuses exclusively on dating between autistic people. There are no neurotypical people dating autistics at all. This is not how the real world works.  In reality there are many more neurotypical people than autistic people, and while we may find partners among our own, statistically it\’s likely that we will also date non-autistic people as well.  So it seems a bit separatist to me to just show autistic people dating autistic people.  

I did appreciate that they brought in various kinds of supports for the autistic people, including some kind of dating counselor, speed dating options, activities, and workshops.  The advice given seemed remarkably simplistic (find common interests, conversations should be 50-50, expand on things brought up in conversation), but I guess you have to start somewhere.  They also wouldn\’t show the bulk of these workshops, simply because of time constraints.  So I fondly hope the advice was more thorough than just these things, but even having that amount of help is better than, \”we\’re going to set up dates for you and point a camera at them, have fun!\”


Watch This Show If

You like dating shows and don\’t mind incredibly awkwardness.  This is pretty much a dating show, they just threw autism in there because it\’s novel and coming into the public consciousness.  This show isn\’t a good way to understand what it\’s like to live with autism, but at least the people in the show are probably fairly close to how they\’re shown.  Autistic people tend to be exceptionally genuine, but you only see so much of them in the context of dating.  Especially this kind of superficial dating.  I disapprove of the type of show, its definition of love, and its handling of the subjects involved.

This kind of show does not portray anything like how my dating went, as an autistic person.  Nor does it portray anything beyond the popular culture \”romance\” phase of relationships.  Additionally, the show pretty much only covers white autistic people, almost entirely cisgender, and almost entirely heterosexual dating.  This is not representative of the autism spectrum.  Not even in the UK.  

Basically, this is a faintly autism-flavored dating show.  Emphasis on the dating show.  It\’s overall positive about the participants and only slightly condescending, but as introductions to autism go, there are about a million better places to start. 

Grocery Shopping on a Special Diet: Impulse Buys, Yogurt, and Drinks

Welcome to a new series on life on the autism spectrum.  I\’ve been doing grocery shopping for nearly a decade, and as my diet has needed to change for health reasons, I\’ve noticed I have less and less of the grocery store actually available to me.  As a citizen of the United States, I have a truly staggering number of food options available to me, but if I want to function, most of them are actually illusions.  

I\’d like to explore this a bit.  I\’ll be going aisle by aisle, probably about two aisles a week.  There are 14 aisles plus the bakery, deli, and fruits/vegetables sections, so there\’s plenty to talk about here.  

The store I typically go to is a hypermarket, which is to say that it is both a massive grocery store and a department store combined into a one-stop-shopping experience.  I\’ll be focusing on the grocery store section, since this is about food.  

Speaking of food, I should also establish my consumption limitations.  I have an allergy to casein (a protein in dairy).  Which is to say, if I drank a glass of milk, I would go from neutral-pleasant mood to angry and depressed in the span of about 30 minutes.  So most dairy products except for butter are off limits.  

I also try to adhere to a low-sugar diet, and avoid ultra-processed foods in favor of whole grains.  I try to avoid food coloring.  I try to avoid high histamine foods. Lastly, I\’m a conditional vegetarian.  Unless I\’m quite convinced (usually by way of independently verified labels) that the animals I\’m eating were treated like creatures and not objects, I don\’t eat meat.  

When you enter the store, the first thing they try to do is sell you extra stuff you didn\’t come for.  Also, because it\’s 2020 and there\’s the coronavirus and no vaccine yet, please note the very first display: masks, including child-sized ones.  

I have to pass on the chips.  I\’ll eat them sometimes but they\’re definitely ultra-processed junk food: no nutritional content at all.  You\’ll see this is a major trend, and also that there\’s literally snack foods everywhere, not just here in the impulse purchase area.

Pop Tarts.  Supposedly a breakfast food.  Ever looked at the sugar content?  I\’d rather have a donut for that amount of calories and sugar.  It\’d have less food coloring, too.  Ice cream cones behind the Pop Tarts.  I like ice cream but between the dairy and the sugar, it doesn\’t like me.  

More chips, plus adult beverages.  I guess they hope you\’ll want to load up on empty calories?  I\’m not making Mexican food this week though, so no ultra-processed tortilla chips.  And definitely no beer.  If I\’m going to have empty calories, I want them to taste good.   

More chips, though these are more tempting.  Pringles, like every other type of chip, is definitely ultra-processed.  Honestly, they\’re like potato sawdust mixed with sugar and salt, and then shaped into a chip form.  The result is delicious, but quite bad for you.
Behind it is salad dressing, which is a way people destroy the nutritiousness of salads…  

I don\’t have specific complaints against bottled water, save that you really need to know what PH it is before putting it in your mouth.  Yeah, I know, it\’s water, it should be 7, but that\’s actually not how it is.  This particular water is most likely 6.5, so slightly acidic.  On a personal note, screw Nestle for profiteering off Michigan\’s water while paying basically nothing for it.  

Behind the water, Chex mix (another ultraprocessed snack), marshmallows (sugar bombs!), and paper towels.  

So those are the impulse purchases and sales as you walk down to the end of the store.  Almost entirely inedible in terms of health and sugar content. But they hope you\’ll forget that and buy them anyway, because look! They\’re right there and on sale!
When I shop I always start at the last aisle and work my way forward.  It just seems the most efficient to me.  And hence: aisle 14.  

Yogurt, juice, coffee, tea, and hot cocoa.  

To my great annoyance, juice is not healthy.  It\’s sugar water with vitamin C.  The reason fruit is healthy is not just the vitamins, but also because of the fiber.  Y\’know, the stuff they strain out to get the juice.  So what you have here is sugar water, sometimes with extra sugar, food coloring, and flavorings.  

I dislike coffee, but at least it\’s not flatly unhealthy.  Unless it\’s flavored and full of sugar…  

Tea bags and hot cocoa.  A pretty small selection, to be honest, but fortunately I know better places to shop for tea.  I like tea and hot cocoa, but the latter tends to be chocked full of sugar.  At present, I have too much of the former so I\’ve banned myself from buying more tea until I\’ve reduced the levels of my tea collection at home.  

The yogurt section.  Yogurt is supposed to be healthy because of the protein and fermentation process.  It can help rebuild your gut with good bacteria.  Since autistic people often lack healthy guts, this would seem to be a good food choice.  Most yogurt is made with cow dairy, but let\’s have a look at a random yogurt… 

Look at the sugar content! 19 grams of sugar, or basically an entire day\’s worth of sugar for me.  But it\’s cheesecake flavored, surely a nice plain strawberry yogurt wouldn\’t be so bad…

OH COME ON.  Still 19 grams of sugar?!

The minimal but at least slightly existent nondairy yogurt section. Mostly oat products (not gluten-free, notably) and almond or coconut milk products.  Frustratingly, these nondairy products are typically lacking in protein content.  But they do, at least, still have the fermentation process.  

However, these flavored nondairy yogurt cups are just as full of sugar as the regular stuff.  Meaning, they\’re no good unless you buy the giant unsweetened container and add your own flavoring. Which defeats the convenience and portability of yogurt, in my opinion…

The refrigerated \”quick desserts and baked goods\” section.  There\’s everything from single serve puddings and creme brulees to cookie dough and cinnamon buns.  Sugar, sugar, sugar…  

The only notable thing I regularly acquire here is a specific brand of premade pie crust.  It doesn\’t use lard, and is also twice as expensive as any other pie crust available.  That said?  Making pie crusts sucks.  The most healthy option would be to make my own using fine ground whole grain flour, but I have a marked dislike for kneading butter into flour.  So most of the time I buy these crusts rather than make my own.  

The butter section is over complicated but at least it\’s all safe for me to eat. 

Some people with dairy allergies can\’t do butter, which makes margarine and other options more valuable.  There\’s also ghee, which has had the proteins removed… but we\’ll see more of that later in the baking aisle.

The entire cream cheese section is right out. Even if it wasn\’t dairy, it\’s full of sugar.  

And that\’s the first installment of this trip through the grocery store.  Let me know what you think.  I\’d originally envisioned doing this grocery store trip in a single post, but it took me so many pictures to just get through the first few aisles that I realized no one would want to read such a long post.  

Next week: the baking aisle and the rest of the dairy section!

Trying Intellicare: App Suite for Mental Health

This week I tried a set of apps meant to help combat anxiety and depression this week.  I found them in a press release from Northwestern University while on my hunt for decent research to present to you for Monday posts.  You can read about the apps a bit more here and here.  The article points out that the app is especially useful now, during the Coronovirus pandemic, because more people are suffering mental illness and everyone has reduced contact with their support networks.

I\’ve done a similar app review with Woebot, and also Wysa in a less thorough manner, but neither really helped me that much.  Which isn\’t to say either app isn\’t helpful overall, it\’s more that they were geared towards different groups than me, specifically.

At any rate, I opted to try Intellicare because the suite of apps interested me, and because after a very careful examination, it seems Intellicare does not sell your personal data or even share it unless demanded by law.  Their privacy policy wasn\’t in plainspeak, but neither was it particularly long or onerous to read.  So that was something.

The Apps

I downloaded four of the six available apps.  The hub app was mandatory, of course.  The five additional apps are:

Day To Day, the app that teaches coping skills and gives information on techniques and things to try during the day.  I chose to try this one.

Daily Feats, the app that helps you celebrate your accomplishments and prods you to do some basic self-care.  I chose to try this one as well.

Thought Challenger, the app that helps you challenge negative thoughts and control your mood.  I don\’t currently suffer a lot of negative thoughts other than boomerang memories (and even those are rare), so I did not download this one.

My Mantra, the app that helps you set a guiding phrase or goal.  I chose to try this app.

Worry Knot, the app that teaches you how to manage your worries and helps you spend less time on them.  I chose not to try this one, as I\’m not prone to spending lots of time worrying.

Starting Off

The first thing the Hub app did was present me with a questionnaire, to get a baseline for how I was feeling.  The questions were easy to understand and the given answers were understandable and distinctive.  I ranked as slightly anxious and moderately depressed, which is about right given my diagnoses.  Each week, the Hub app is supposed to have you retake the questionnaire, which can then show you your progress.

I had trouble with the Hub app.  It lost my questionnaire results after I loaded it up for the second time.  After a couple days, it wouldn\’t load up at all.  I wasn\’t thrilled, but the other apps work independently from it, so it\’s not the end of the world.  Being able to track my mood climate week-to-week would\’ve been nice, but since my trial period for this app suite was just over a week, it\’s not like it would have given me much data anyway.

I opted to create my own mantra in the My Mantra app: \”I am a worthwhile person.\”  I sometimes struggle with personal worth issues, so it seemed like the best place to start.  The app gave numerous examples for your mantra, such as, \”I am strong,\” \”I am loved,\” \”I will create,\” and \”I am generous.\”  The app then prompted you to think about your mantra and take pictures throughout the day of things that support that mantra.

The Daily Feats app came with four basic \”feats\” or healthy goals to begin with.  These were: \”I completed a task,\” \”I did something physical today (even just walking),\” \”I smiled at another person,\” and \”I ate something healthy.\”  For my own personal edification, I added \”I tended my plants today\” and \”I did 5 wall pushups and 10 situps today.\”  I wasn\’t great about handling the lattermost, because I didn\’t assign a time of day to do them.  Also doing situps hurts my tailbone for some reason.

No special setup or input was needed for Day To Day, beyond telling it my waking hours.  This let the app calculate when to send me the next bit of knowledge about the skillset of the week.  The first week was called Challenge Thinking, and revolved around noticing, understanding, and challenging negative thoughts.  This was not super relevant to me personally, but Week 2 (Cultivate Gratitude) and Week 3 (Activate Pleasure) struck me as more useful.  Unfortunately, there was no way to hop weeks.

Observations/In Practice

One of the things I noticed early on about these apps, at least on Android, was that they didn\’t seem to know how to rudely run in the background even though you\’ve closed them.

To understand why that\’s a flaw, I should mention that these apps include reminders to use them.  Daily Feats is supposed to remind you to jot down what feats you\’ve accomplished so far that day, or a reminder from My Mantra to review your mantra, add pictures to it, or even set a new one.  Day To Day, in particular, sends you multiple notifications throughout the day to help teach you self-management skills, feeding you a bit of info every few hours across your day.

However, these notifications did not trigger on my device if the apps were closed.  Which means you need to keep each one open instead of closing them when you\’re done with them for the day.  While I\’m sure there are a lot of people that just navigate away from the apps without closing them when they\’re done, I don\’t think it\’s wise to expect your whole userbase to act that way.  In addition, most Android apps that use reminders are programmed to run rudely in the background like I\’ve described, so the fact that these don\’t do that is surprising.

I left the apps open for the last two days of my test, and surprisingly, that did not seem to fix the issue, so perhaps the problem is also linked to the Intellicare Hub app not working. 

Also, some of the apps seemed incomplete or not fully thought out, like My Mantra.  The idea was to set a mantra or two, which you would try to keep repeating to yourself of the course of the day.  You could take pictures and store them under each mantra.  But the app didn\’t really do anything except act as an image repository for categories (your mantras).  If you don\’t regularly take photos of things, this app doesn\’t seem all that useful.

This may also somewhat be a function of the fact that I\’m not a very visual person.  So having to describe, \”I am a worthwhile person\” in pictures taken around my house, I struggled.  Taking a picture of a clean, empty dishwasher (representing that I do my chores and that is worthwhile) doesn\’t convey that extra meaning to me when I immediately look at it.  Taking a picture of an achievement in a video game seems shallow to me, even though I might be somewhat proud of it.  And taking a picture of my plants, which still aren\’t dead for some reason, just reminds me of how much further they have to go before they\’ll produce anything.  Seeing them in person is one thing, but a picture is quite another, at least to me.

I did spot typos in the course of the week, such as the one in Day To Day when setting your day schedule.  Mistakes are italicized.  It asks, \”When dose your day typically start?\”  And an awkward phrasing in the Hub app during the assessment, which asked \”… how often have you felt trouble falling asleep/staying asleep or sleeping too much?\”  Obviously neither of these example typographical and grammatical errors would cause much confusion, so these aren\’t really major issues.  They simply caught my attention, as such things often do.

The apps also seemed to lose track of what day it was on occasion, which resulted in a disappointing broken streak in Daily Feats, as well as only being at Day 5 in Day To Day when I\’ve been trying the app for 8 days.  This phenomenon might be related to the issue I described above, with the apps not running in the background, but I honestly don\’t know.

The information in the apps, at least, seemed valuable.  I don\’t do a whole lot with challenging my negative thoughts recently, though I did a good bit in the past.  I mostly don\’t have tons of them any more, and it\’s become less of an issue, but the promptings of Day To Day and the Hub app (when it worked) seemed about right. 

The Intellicare Hub app contains a set of informational resources about depression, anxiety, self-care, social support, thoughts and feelings, activities and emotions, and social media.  I read through the sections on anxiety, depression, self-care, and social media.  The information within was basic, but accurate, approachable for most reading levels, and positive. 

The Hub app also contained a link to some quick resources, including the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, Crisis Text Line, and Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat.  I was glad to see these, and particularly the variety of available options.  Some people like using the phone, but I personally despise it, so in an emergency when only phone call options were available, I\’d probably just avoid that entirely.  This offers text options, including a simple over-the-Internet chat rather than a text message service. 

In Summary

At least for the apps I tried, this free suite of mental healthcare apps seems like a work in progress, albeit one with good potential.  The information given by the apps seemed valuable, readable, and accurate.  
However, there are definitely some major compatibility and functionality issues to work through, such as the Hub app simply refusing to open after a couple days and losing my test scores, the sub-apps losing which day it was, and the apps not running in the background (and thus the notifications not working).  I tested the apps on an Android tablet, which may have contributed to the technical difficulties I experienced.  Typically people use a phone, and Android itself covers a very broad base of devices.  Thus, coding for it can be difficult.  It\’s very likely the iOS versions of these apps, which have a much smaller range of applicable devices, are significantly more stable.
Beyond the major issues, there were minor issues like typos or \”that\’s not quite right\” grammatical issues, though not many.  The apps themselves could use a bit of polish as well.  I could have used some examples of how to make My Mantra\’s photo collection idea work for me, because, as mentioned above, I had serious issues with that, and in the end, basically didn\’t use that app at all after the first day.
I think I\’ll keep Day To Day and the Intellicare Hub app around for another week or so, and see what I think of using them in the long term.  Maybe week 2\’s Cultivate Gratitude sections will be helpful to me.  
Based on the performance I had from these apps using an Android tablet, they may or may not be worth your while.  If you have a therapist and support network already, you may not need any of the information within.  If you don\’t, this might be the perfect way to start learning this information.  Particularly now, with the coronavirus isolating us all, this could be a very useful set of tools and reminders for people who are suffering mental illness for the first time, or for the first time in a while.  

I Visited the Autism-Friendly Sesame Street Park in Florida

I went on my first vacation in three years (since the honeymoon) this January.  It was to Orlando, Florida, to see the video game charity event, Awesome Games Done Quick, for most of the trip.  We did make one theme park visit, and it was Seaworld, the one with Sesame Street, the ostensibly autism-friendly park.   It was winter, but winter in Florida apparently means high 60s to low 80s, which is late summer where I come from.  So there were few to no lines and comfortable temperatures: a win in my book.

I\’m just going to start by saying Seaworld overall is distinctly not autism friendly.

It is consistently loud.  They have music blaring in from everywhere, especially restaurants, animal exhibits, show areas, and shops.  As you traverse the park, you move from one noise zone to the next, with no respite between them.  The quietest areas were on the edges of those zones, but at those points, you could hear two zones at the same time, in a dueling stereos effect.  This is not even counting the other park-goers, with their shrieky small children.

I wore earplugs basically the whole time and would recommend others do the same.  Even my neurotypical spouse wore earplugs the whole time simply because he found it more comfortable.

If you do end up visiting, I did manage to find a quieter area to eat.  The Spice Mill Burgers area was only loud because of the people in it, and some of those moved on while my spouse and I were eating.  So I was able to take out my earplugs there for a bit.  I expect during the summer and higher tourism times, it would be significantly louder, but the fish filet was both large and surprisingly excellent.  They also offered an Impossible (meatless, but tasty) Burger, which I was very pleased to see.  The bun and toppings both sandwiches came with were food service standard mediocre, of course.  It\’s cheap(er) park food, what do you expect?

Speaking of which, I did not see gluten-free options at any of the Seaworld food spots I stopped by.  I know Seaworld itself isn\’t really dedicated to accessibility for all, just Sesame Street, but I\’d kind of hoped the latter would infect the former.  There did seem to be dairy-free options, like my fish filet, and a lot of \”normal\” kid-friendly food, like chicken nuggets and fries and such.  I suspect the dairy-free options were more incidental than purposeful.

Into Sesame Street

Nearish the end of the day, we did make it to Sesame Street.  I can\’t say I was overly comfortable, a childless 30-something walking through a kids-and-families-area, but I was feeling overwhelmed, wanted a quiet place to rest, and figured that while Sesame Street was technically geared towards children, autism is autism.

Sesame Street is located on the far right, meaning you have to pass through most of Seaworld to get there.  I cannot stress this enough: most of Seaworld is very sensory-unfriendly.

The front gate of Sesame Street Park at Seaworld.  Elmo and Cookie Monster statues guard either side.  The lighting was not in my favor for this shot of the front gate.

A main road leads into Sesame Street in Seaworld, with storefronts on the right, and rides on the left.  The park itself was a lengthy inverted D shape, with a main road and a side road for kids rides, extra attractions, restrooms, and other services.

A signpost at Sesame Street in Seaworld, with directions to restrooms, first aid station, baby changing area, the Infinity Falls ride in Seaworld, and the autism-friendly quiet room.  There were a few of these signs off the main road, pointing you mostly to services, rather than rides.

The family services building at Sesame Street in Seaworld.  A sign out front directs you to enter the front for baby care, and the side for the autism-friendly quiet room.  The sign here was a little unclear.  After going past the building and all the way to the other end of the park, we finally figured out they meant \”the back door is closest to the Quiet Room\” not \”keep walking this direction \’til you find it.\”  I was annoyed.

Sesame Street has exactly one quiet room, which was part of a larger facility to support families.  Included as other rooms in this facility were a changing and nursing room for mothers, a more comfortable enclosed sitting area, a microwave and sink, and various shelves and cupboards.  The lighting in all rooms was overhead, living room-like light fixtures with incandescent bulbs, rather than more typical commercial/industrial fluorescent lighting.

Inside the family services area at Sesame Street in Seaworld.  An incandescent overhead light shines over a sink, microwave, seating, shelving and a high chair on a hardwood floor.  Also a lounge area, baby changing space, and a nursing area… It was surprisingly well outfitted.  I could, of course, have asked for even more stuff, but seeing all this was a surprise.  It\’s not like the park makes money off having these offerings here.

The hallway off the main room in the previous picture.  A trio of doors lead to the autism-friendly quiet room, the nursing room, and the restroom, while an open archway leads to a main room.

Eventually I made it to the quiet room.  Like the main room, it was lit with an incandescent home overhead light thingie.  It\’s not really a chandelier, being far too small and simple, but that\’s the only word I can think of to describe it.

It was a relatively small room, and I had trouble getting a proper picture of the whole thing.  The room had bits and bobs available.  The bean-bag-esque cushions there seemed comfortable, though I didn\’t actually sit in them due to paranoia about germs.  The wooden box-thingies would serve to either climb on or hide within, either of which seems reasonable.  The overhead lights could be turned off (so I did).

A textured wall toy, one of two such toys.  At least 15 different texture were available for stimulation-seeking children.  I was impressed, even if I didn\’t touch due to fear of germs.

A more typical children\’s toy, fastened to a different wall.

The quiet room was not silent, and you could hear the nearest ride outside (Minnie Mouse instructing kids to pay attention to some kind of nature kiddie coaster).  It was, however, significantly quieter, and I was able to take out my earplugs and relax somewhat.  Out of curiosity, I turned on my tablet\’s decibel reader.

Readout from a decibel meter in the Quiet Room at Sesame Street in Seaworld.  Average decibels 48.6, maximum 58.  Fairly quiet as things go, but not silent.

Readout from a decibel meter in the Quiet Room at Sesame Street in Seaworld.  Average decibels 48.6, maximum 58.  Fairly quiet as things go, but not silent.  The spikes in the graph were due to children and the ride outside.

And here\’s a recording taken while waiting for the killer whale show at Seaworld:

The readout of a decibel meter during the pre-show of Seaworld\'s orca whale show.  Average decibels, 83.7, max 87.2, or roughly 16 times louder than the previous location.

As you can see, the Seaworld pre-show was about 40 decibels louder than the main area, which… if that doesn\’t mean anything to you, it\’s about 16 times as loud…  or the difference between me suffering and me feeling kinda okay.

Sesame Street itself seemed quieter overall than Seaworld, though I don\’t have the data to back that up.  It still definitely had zones of noise that you could travel between, even at the family services area.

My last thought on the Sesame Street area was the food.  We visited in winter, so most of the food options were closed.  They did seem to offer the usual sugary and white flour-laden badness, but I also stepped into a couple store areas and found these:

Refrigerated food and drink offerings at Sesame Street stores, including cheese sticks, yogurt, hummus, fruit cups, cracker/cheese/meat snack boxes, and veggie/fruit/cheese snack boxes

It\’s a bit of a mixed bag, with dairy, sugar, and glutenous snacks dominating the offerings… but it does also have fresh fruit and hummus for sale.  The \”healthy lunchable\” offering with crackers, meat, and cheese, uses Triscuit style whole grain crackers rather than Ritz white flour crackers.  There are also carrot, celery, and cheese snack boxes with some kind of dip that hopefully doesn\’t invalidate the healthiness of the rest of the case.

I was Impressed, but More Can Be Done

As an autistic adult wandering through Sesame Street, I was pleased to see some of the changes and offerings available to families with autistic children or other special needs.  Having a quiet room available at all is a massive step up in terms to tolerability of theme parks.  Sesame Street was a small park (within a larger park), too, so while I\’d rather have more than one quiet room, I can kind of understand why there\’s only one.

I was pleased with the family support facility offerings once I found them.  There was no cheap, sensory-painful fluorescent anywhere that I could see, only the more sensory-friendly incandescent bulbs in home-like configurations.  Having a nursing area for new mothers was a nice touch.  Having a microwave so people could heat up their own food, brought from outside the park, was even better.  While I\’d rather people be able to simply buy gluten-free, casein- (dairy-) free offerings at the park proper, at least letting them bring and enjoy their own food is a start.  They did have a couple offerings for people on restrictive diets, at least.  Can\’t say that for the rest of Seaworld.

I did wish the Quiet Room was more like the Silent Room, but noise-proofing is kind of difficult, especially with a kiddie coaster ride literally 30 feet away.  More than one room would have been good, as someone did open the door and then recoiled when they noticed we were already occupying it.  Perhaps an \”occupied/free\” sign and at least two rooms?  It is, however, a small sub-park, and I can understand why there was only one.  The noise level was a lot more tolerable in the Quiet Room, at least, and the textured wall toy, plush beanbag cushion-things, and wooden play blocks seemed like thoughtful additions to the place.

Overall, especially compared to the rest of Seaworld, I was favorably impressed with Sesame Street.  The signage could be more specific about where the Quiet Room is, and it could really use more than one Quiet Room, but even as it was, the place served my needs fairly well. Hopefully it will continue to serve the families that visit Sesame Street for years to come. 

Histamine Overload Day

The Theory

When I was at my doctor\’s office (my LENS doctor, not my primary care doctor who I rarely see), we were chatting about my health and she suggested, based on my previous complaints, symptoms, and observations about exercise, that I try experimenting with high- and low-histamine foods, as I might have an intolerance or simply be flooded with them.
Essentially, the theory goes that some people may have too high of levels of histamines in their bodies, and this has bad effects on your brain, your immune system, and your digestive tract.  You can tailor your diet to avoid high-histamine foods, which are mainly fermented foods, and thus live a healthier life… but this is only likely to help if you actually do have the intolerance or systemic overload.  
My doctor explained this as kind of like having a low level allergic reaction… except all the time.  So you\’re always dealing with things like congested airways, itching, a skin rash, watery or itchy eyes, etc.  The thing is, it may be so mild you don\’t even notice it, yet still have bad effects on your life.  And in fact, allergies like this can entirely bypass your nose and just affect your brain instead, causing depression, misery, and anxiety.  Now, the reasons she brought this up included the apparently-not-insect-bite-after-all bumps I came back with after one expedition for black raspberries, and my lifelong hatred for exercise.  
The latter doesn\’t immediately make sense.  The thing is, there are two categories of foods you have to watch out for with a histamine issue.  The first is foods with high histamines, of course.  More histamines is bad.  The second category, though, is histamine liberators.  Your body stores histamines, and histamine liberators elbow your body into releasing them, which makes you feel worse.  
Exercise, as it happens, has that exact same liberation effect.  So a person would reasonable hate exercise if it felt like they were dying every time they did it.  Like, say, if their throat closed up, they found it hard to breathe, they itched a lot, and in general they felt terrible.  Which… isn\’t an unreasonable assessment of my feelings on jogging and most other forms of exercise.  
There\’s also the fact that in the summer, I\’m basically marinating in toxic algae spores due to the pond outside, which… I\’d assume would produce histamines, given its deleterious effects on my system if I go outside and breathe for like two minutes.  I also find myself sleeping with my arms over my head, which is notably helpful for opening airways, but does a number on my lower back… so you\’d think I wouldn\’t be doing that on purpose.

Counter-evidence is that I tested negative on a battery of allergy tests at the beginning of the year.  Like, I\’m allergic to nothing they tested.  Literally nothing.  The test included various local plants that often set people off.  I also haven\’t personally noticed regular congestion and such until recently.  It\’s like my cold never truly ended.  I cough a bit here and there these days, and occasionally need to blow my nose.  

There are two informational documents I was sent by my doctor, so here they are: The Healthline Summary and the Topic-Specific Site.  I read them both, or at least skimmed them both, and paid careful attention to the list of foods.  Surprisingly, I don\’t really like most of the high-histamine foods.  So most of them aren\’t in my diet.  I can\’t say the same for the histamine liberators, though.  A good number of those rotate through my diet regularly.  
So there\’s cause to test this theory my doctor has… and I intend to.  Slightly recklessly.

The Plan

I am, as of yet, still fairly young and thus resilient.  I am therefore going to take a single day to present my system with many high-histamine foods and histamine liberators.  The results will either be dramatic and prove the point, or minimal-to-non-existent, and strongly suggest that this is not an issue I have.

I should note my doctor specifically told me not to do this, and instead suggested trying a couple foods here and there, and seeing if I noticed differences.  Which is why I\’m terming this \”slightly reckless.\”  I don\’t think I\’m putting my life on the line, trying this, but I do think I\’m probably setting myself up for an extremely miserable day.

To do this experiment, I read over the foods, and prepared a menu for the day, incorporating enough of them to hopefully give a good test result.  While devising this menu, I made efforts to make the meals healthy, because it\’s already known that eating junk food makes you ill, and eating horrifyingly mismatched foods (like, say, jerky, pickles, and chocolate in the same mouthful) would also complicate the results by making me miserable as I ate them.  
I also had to allow for my particular diet choices, which meant only humane meats.  I know where to get bison jerky, so I can still try the fermented meat option, but things like store salami and most smoked meat products are out.  
With that in mind, the menu is this.
Breakfast: Cup of Greek yogurt with fresh pineapple and strawberry slices mixed in.  Sourdough toast with mixed nut butter on top.  
Lunch: Fancy grilled cheese with tomato soup.  Sourdough bread with aged cheese and shredded bison jerky.  Pickle and a handful of spinach for a side.  Orange for \”dessert.\”
Snack (if desired): chocolate and/or handful of roasted mixed nuts. 
Dinner: Marinated chicken (apple cider vinegar and soy sauce marinade), served over brown rice, with a banana and spinach salad with vinegar dressing for sides.  
Beverages: Green tea, black tea, and possibly a serving of booze at dinner.  
For extra credit, I may try to exercise that day as well, which would help free up any stored histamines I might have.  I haven\’t quite decided on this, because exercise makes me miserable, and I don\’t want to muck up my experiment by biasing it

Now, assuming this theory is correct and I have this problem, the resulting suffering will be misery.  I\’m young enough to try this, but not so reckless that I don\’t have a backup plan for alleviating my misery.  When discussing this theory with my doctor, she mentioned that while testing foods, I might keep vitamin C on hand, as it helps clean histamines out of your system.  So now I have a nice jar of lemon-flavored vitamin C powder, which I will mix into water and consume at regular intervals, should the effects be overwhelming.

I also have various decongestant medicinal products that served me fairly well during my cold a few weeks ago, and I might see about acquiring an anti-histamine as well, which would help curb any impressive acute symptoms.

The Day Of

The day started fairly normally for a summer day: not enough sleep because of the light levels.  Here\’s my ingredients:

Some of these we had at home, but most had to be bought specifically for this experiment.  This isn\’t even all the things, it\’s just what would fit neatly in the picture.

Breakfast commenced.

My yogurt cup didn\’t hold nearly as much fruit as I wanted it to, so I had some on the side.  I decided tea with breakfast was going to happen.  I like tea, but I usually don\’t treat myself to it. So that was nice.

After the first few bites, I had a cough, which left about as fast as it came.  I\’ve had those on and off in the last couple weeks, and still have no real idea what\’s going on.  A more lingering effect, which I didn\’t test because I was focusing on work and other things, was the seeming difficulty breathing.  My work is sedentary, thankfully, so that was not a crippling issue.  But it was very definitely notable.

More interestingly, and more detrimentally for sure, was the brain fog that really shouldn\’t have accompanied such a healthy meal.  It could be the yogurt, which I\’m not really accustomed to eating, and is dairy, after all.  I\’ve had poor effects with dairy.  That would normally be a factor I\’d eliminate for this test, but I had enough trouble coming up with a meal plan without that.

I also felt kind of like my stomach lining was… overwarm.  \”Burning\” implies actual pain, and this wasn\’t a form of pain I recognized.  It was just uncomfortable and a little worrying.  It didn\’t really feel like acid reflux, either.  So that was definitely worth noting.

Lunch was late, because I guess I had too large a breakfast in my enthusiasm for this experiment.

I… still really really do not like pickles.  Like wow, yuck.  I ate all four on the plate, but unless I can foist the rest off on somebody else, I don\’t think I\’m going to eat them.  The rest was basically fine, thankfully.  I ate the banana for lunch instead of dinner because of how ripe it\’d gotten, which was fine.  I was originally going to shred the jerky and put it on the sandwich, but I ran out of time due to needing to run errands.

I did again feel the sort of burn on my stomach lining, which was definitely disconcerting.  I noticed a certain difficulty in breathing again, like I had to work harder for my oxygen.  I may or may not have been imagining that, or letting confirmation bias run away with me.  This experiment couldn\’t be done double-blind as easily as my other experiments.

After lunch, my day\’s pace picked up, which, combined with the brain fog, caused me to forget to take a picture of dinner.  It was the meal as planned, though, vinegar/soy sauce marinated chicken over rice, with balsamic vinegar dressing on spinach, and the orange.

At dinner, I also decided to be a strange person and mix a mug of green tea with a shot of vodka, which wasn\’t as horrifying as you\’d expect.  Actually, I didn\’t really taste the vodka after it had mixed in with the tea and warmed to the correct temperature.  I have no idea if that\’s normal, or just a function of the particular brand of vodka (Grey Goose).

The burn in my stomach lining re-commenced after consuming two types of vinegar (but before consuming the alcohol, which does its own form of stomach-burn sensation).  I felt kind of warm in the face, which was new.  I would also say the brain fog returned, at least to a degree.

I finished off the night without needing to resort to my safety net:

\”BioFizz\” is maybe not the most marketable name I\’ve ever heard, but the product is quality.

Vitamin C is excellent for helping the body filter out histamines, so mixing either of these powders into water and consuming them would have helped flush my system of the mess I\’d forced into it.

The Results

I wasn\’t, I suppose, really expecting to break out in hives or suddenly have my throat close and have to be rushed to the hospital, but I guess I\’d hoped for something a bit more dramatic than \”slight trouble breathing,\” \”kinda burny stomach lining,\” and the ever-debilitating \”brain fog.\”  These were clear and obvious symptoms, but not the type I wa expecting.

I discussed my findings with my doctor.  She mainly told me it was something to be aware of, when considering why I might be feeling poorly.  It\’s clearly not the beginning and end of my health considerations, since I didn\’t end up in the hospital, but the difficulty breathing is suggestive, as are the other effects.

Something of note here is that many of these foods, I wouldn\’t normally eat.  They simply don\’t taste good to me.  Pickles and vinegar in particular come to mind, but in all honesty, I didn\’t really enjoy the jerky either.  There can be a correlation between \”what tastes good to you\” and \”what is good for you.\”

This is obviously not always the case, as per the various cases of autistic children (and sometimes adults) refusing to eat all but a very limited subset of foods.  Sometimes those refusals aren\’t merely based in taste, they\’re based in texture and sensitivities thereof.  I would guess that the \”if it tastes bad, you shouldn\’t eat it\” concept of eating is probably only referring to taste.

A good test during this histamine overload day, which I should have done but was so brain-fogged and tired that I didn\’t, would have been to go biking or power-walking.  The difference in my ability to breathe that day, versus regularly, would have been valuable information.

I\’m not entirely out of luck on that front.  While I probably won\’t redo the high histamine diet, I can attempt the opposite thing: dosing myself up with vitamin C, and then exercising at a moderate intensity.  If the experience isn\’t horrifying, that\’s all I\’ll need to know.  Perhaps I could even try jogging again.  Being able to tolerate high-intensity exercise would make it possible for me to burn calories easier, which would go a long way toward checking the slowing metabolism/rising weight effect of middle age.  Exercise also burns energy I tend to use being anxious, so it might also do wonders for my mental state, too.

In the end, it seems that high histamine levels are a factor in my life, but not an all important one. Fixing my histamine intake would most likely have positive effects, but is unlikely to solve all my health problems the way I\’d like it to.  I\’ll make note of any future testing I do on the subject, particularly the exercise/vitamin C test.

Edit (9/2/19): Histamines are definitely the bane of my exercise.  While apparently overdosing on histamines didn\’t really change my day-to-day experience, taking an anti-histamine and then exercising as hard as I could?  Yielded no misery at all, just hard work.  It was extremely weird to have those two sensations divorced from each other.  Exercise has always been a miserable experience for me in the past.  I\’m going to write an exercise-related post update for this.  As it happens, I know of a researcher that might well be interested…

Edit 2 (9/12/19): Yyyep, it\’s the histamines.  I tested my archnemesis of exercise, jogging, with an anti-histamine on a muggy swelteringly hot day.  I got very tired and my muscles screamed for mercy, but I did not get miserable.  I wrote another post about the exercise experience, which is here!

Product Review: MagnusCards app

A few weeks ago, I was told about an app called MagnusCards.  It\’s basically a collection of sets of directions for various life skill subjects.  Basically, the idea is to have a reference for various day-to-day activities, with pictures, for people to be able to look at and use as needed.

The app is for iOS and Android.  I tested it on an Android tablet.  I\’d say it\’s probably more geared for phones, but you can still manage on a tablet.  I mainly opted to review this app because it has information on my local library system, meaning someone from that library system actually went to the trouble of making these and submitting them to the app.  I actually went and visited the nearest branch, and followed along with the relevant cards while I was there.  I\’ll talk about that below.

The \”cards,\” or sets of instructions, come in categories like Shopping, Personal Care, Leisure, Social, Food, and Travel.  They are all free, and written in very simple English.  You can download cards you like, or cards that are most relevant to your life.  Some of these cards are from Canadian or even British organizations, so it\’d be wise to check the cards before downloading them.

When you\’ve chosen a category, you can then choose a contributing organization or a specific card.  So, in Leisure, you can choose Kent District Library, or scroll down to choose \”Kent District Library- Logging into a computer at the library.\”

You are then presented with the first sub-card, which is usually an introduction to the topic.

You can then swipe left and right to navigate between the sub-cards, which describe the process and also tell you what things you need to do the process or activity.  There are cards for getting a library card, searching the catalogue, using the self-checkout machines, logging into a library computer, and a more general \”what to expect\” card, which basically describes what the library offers (much more than just books!), the presence of helpful staff members, the availability of rest rooms, and other details.

In looking through these cards at KDL, I learned that you can check out a pair of noise-canceling headphones.  This is particularly helpful on the first floor of my location, where kids tend to congregate (and play Fortnite on the public computers).  They were big, over-the-ear, noise-isolating headphones, and they did help, though not as much as my personal pair that has active noise-canceling.  But it might be a bit much to expect every library location to shell out for a $200 pair of headphones, and then replace them when they get damaged.  Libraries, unfortunately, are not rolling in money.

The cards are a mix of qualities.  The KDL ones were of pretty good quality, but the Social cards were extremely basic, sometimes to the point of absurdity.  Considering the complexity of social situations, even things as simple as greeting people can get complicated, so I probably shouldn\’t be too harsh in my judgments here.  I guess it\’s the wistful and tired autistic in me wanting social stuff to be boiled down to easy, simple directions that I could just follow and everyone would be happy.  No such luck.  For basic social interactions and people who don\’t need to perfectly pass as \”normal\” these are better than nothing, at least.

I was reasonably pleased with Colgate\’s series on tooth care, which I thought was pretty good.  There were also a good number of well done \”simple recipe\” cards.  not all of them are the healthiest choices ever, but simple does not always equal healthy.  The Cleaning cards were also fairly decent.

I didn\’t get too indepth with every category, but my best guess is that the more abstract the subject, the less helpful the cards will be.  So, while the card for \”Dealing with Anxiety\” had some helpful pointers in general, I didn\’t find it personally terribly relevant to my Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  Most of the Social cards were in the same boat, and most of the Money Management cards.  Something is still better than nothing, anyway.

Overall, I found the app fairly easy to use, if a little basic.  I would very much like to see the option to make your own cards.  This idea is a good one, but other than my library system, there\’s nothing immediately local to be referenced here.  I could see an enterprising parent putting together this app and the concept of Social Stories into one extremely helpful, meltdown-reducing package.

Another thing I was hoping to see, but mainly didn\’t, was a more non-verbal-friendly approach.  There are a good number of autistic people, especially children, that don\’t read very well, or even at all.  I\’d imagined that perhaps there might be some cards where the reading was optional.  At least for now, that\’s not the case.  The pictures are more accompaniments to the written directions than they are directions themselves.  Again, this isn\’t really surprising, and I\’m not sure I\’d do better if put to the task.  But it\’s a thing that could possibly be improved upon.

In the end, I probably won\’t keep this app for my personal use, but I\’m not its intended target anyway.  This app is geared more towards people who don\’t have personal care and life skills memorized, or may need reminding for how to do them.  It can also ease the load on a parent, who may be asked repeatedly how to accomplish some of these processes, or serve as a support service in helping an autistic person achieve independent living.

TL;DR:  A good, though very limited, app for autistic people who need extra help with life skills and personal care skills.  Has directions for the my local library system.  Needs the ability to make your own cards.  

Sensory-Alert Grocery Shopping, part 2: Sounds and Policies

Last time I talked about how I was invited along to the corporate Meijer offices with Autism Support of Kent County.  To prepare, I went to my local supermarket and trawled through the place, evaluating it for sensory-friendliness, and put together a short presentation of what I found.

Last week I went over about half the presentation, including the various issues and curiosities with the lights in the store, as well as the pitfalls of smell.  Today I\’ll finish up with the sounds I encountered in the store, as well as store policies and ideas for changes.
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Like smell, sound is a facet of the senses that\’s best kept very simple and minimal while shopping.  The fewer noises, the better.  I was surprised as heck that the store\’s music was actually set quite low, making it quite sensory-friendly.  Normally that\’s the first offender in every store and restaurant I set foot in.  They did somewhat make up for this bit of friendliness by having periodic ads interrupt the music, which is both sensory-unfriendly and highly obnoxious.  Still, that was maybe every 5-10 minutes, not constantly.

Speaking of ads, there were many.  The PA system was just the start.  The shoe section had a massive TV screen with an ad for a shoe brand, complete with flashing pictures and sound.  Ew.  There were a couple smaller, tablet-sized ads in the alcohol section, though I couldn\’t say for sure they had noise or not.

By far the most painful sound I encountered was the mobility devices\’ backup noises.  Essentially high pitched shrieks, they grated on my ears like nails on a chalkboard, only louder.  I don\’t begrudge people use of the devices, but I deeply wish the devices didn\’t sound like construction equipment when backing up.

I was, however, rather pleased at how most of the store\’s other operational sounds, like the sound of an item being scanned, the overhead fans, and even the theft alarm, were almost muted and polite.  I recall, growing up, when barcode scanners hurt my ears.  They emitted a high pitched \”sckreek!\” sound for each item.  The ones at this store were several octaves lower.  Not perfectly painless, but much better than it could be.  The theft alarm makes a \”boop boop boop\” sound when triggered, roughly around middle C on a piano keyboard.  So quite tolerable, while still being alarming if it goes off near you.

I wasn\’t as thrilled with the talking self-checkouts.  If the aim is to reduce the amount of noise-clutter, having a half-dozen registers speaking near-simultaneously is… not great.  I also happened upon what I assume is a malfunctioning piece of refrigeration equipment in the vegetable section, which made a high pitched whine I could pick out from several aisles over.

Shopping carts.  They\’re essential, but they come with just… so many horrible noises.  The wheels on the carts are probably what most people think of, and they\’re right to do so.  Dud wheels can make all kinds of deeply unpleasant sounds, from a general thudding (crud buildup) to the improperly greased squeal.  The range is impressive, and it\’s all horrifying.
What people may not think of, though, is the noises carts make when they\’re unstacked.  The carts at this (and most stores) are made of metal.  They make loud crashing sounds when pulled apart, and when the child seat is lowered.  I had some thoughts about this, which included little rubber bits at points of impact.  The actual discussion also pointed out that plastic carts are an option, though I shudder at the environmental impact of that decision.  
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The fun bit about this section is that Meijer actually already has a lot of good policies in place already, just in the course of trying to make the shopping experience optimal.  The key here is predictability.  Meijer already labels their departments in absolutely massive lettering and abundant signage, and the stores themselves tend to be organized similarly.  Two main entrances, one side leading to the food, the other to the non-food.

The exact placement of the departments can vary somewhat by the store, but between the aforementioned signage and the general rule of \”food on one side, clothes in the middle, everything else on the other side\” you can usually get where you\’re going fairly quickly.

The one exception to the excellent labeling is the fruits and vegetables department, which is so utterly lacking in signage I just kind of sat and stared for a minute.  I have no idea why that\’s the case.  When I brought it up at the meeting, the official wasn\’t sure either, but thought it might have something to do with how often those sections are reorganized.  I still think signage could be managed, though.

Other immediate ideas included eliminating the current policy of greeting customers throughout the store.  Like Walmart, Meijer has greeters at the entrance.  Those are anxiety-provoking enough for someone like me.  Making the stockers say hello to me at random just makes me want to melt into the floor and die.  This sentiment was echoed by at least one of my autistic adult contacts.

Another thought I suggested was putting together a Social Story.  Ideally these are personalized down to the exact store you\’re going to be going to, but for someplace like Meijer, even a broad-spectrum one would be better than nothing.   The idea is to give the child or adult a sense of the place you\’re going, what to expect there, and what things are expected of them.  This doesn\’t directly address sensory overload, but it could include another thing suggested during the meeting: a sensory map.

The idea of providing a map to a business isn\’t new.  Noting areas that might overload the nose or ears, though, is something I\’ve never seen in a retail setting.  Marking off the perfume aisle (smell), the alcohol section (ears-crashing bottles), and the cleaning products aisle (smell again) as potentially harmful areas could make a shopping experience a lot more tolerable, especially for people new to the store, unfamiliar overall, or people with memory problems.

There were two major ideas that were suggested in my various reading materials.  The first is the more feasible one, and is already being done in grocery stores in Australia and Britain.  It\’s fairly simple: a major complaint from autistic people is that stores are too loud and overwhelming.

The solution? Turn everything down, for an hour or two every week, or a day or three every month.

Turn off in-store ads and flashing signs, pause cart collection, and turn down the lights.  Based on my walkthrough experience, I expanded on this little by also suggesting they turn off the pumped in bakery smells and avoid stocking cans and bottles.  To this I\’d probably also add \”silence the talking self-checkouts.\”  Doing these things vastly reduces the amount of sensory information pushed onto shoppers, which is awesome for people with overload tendencies.

The more expensive and less likely accommodation I saw was a sensory-friendly room.  This is a phenomenon I tend to see more at conventions, but in all honesty, I could really use one everywhere I go.

The idea is to establish an accessible, quiet room with neutral decor and places to sit while someone tries to wind down from a meltdown.  Small autistic child having issues?  Go to the sensory room and get out their favorite stim-toy.  They calm down, and you can get back to your shopping.

In conventions I\’ve been to, this room was literally as simple as \”we turned off the lights in this panel room and left like three basic chairs in there.\”  It wasn\’t exactly comfortable, but it was kinder on my senses than the convention overall.

My additional suggestions for a room like this include offering disposable earplugs, which are a common assistive technology for people with sensory sensitivities, and placing copies of the aforementioned sensory map and Social Story there.

Really though, it doesn\’t need to be fancy.  It just needs to be there and accessible.  I don\’t really think Meijer will go for this idea, though, because any public space they\’re not using to display products is lost income.

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I included this, in the main, because it seems negligent not to do so.  The Autistic Self Advocacy Network has taken great pains to establish easily-digested materials on the subject, and the Autism Society has put together an actual program you can qualify your business for.  It seemed criminally negligent not to at least say, \”hey, these are cool, maybe check them out?\”

In all honesty, though, in a perfect world, I might be able to make a living simply by getting hired to walk through places and point out the autism- or sensory-unfriendly parts of them.  I can hear things that most people can\’t, and am sensitive to bright lights in a way most people can\’t imagine.  I\’m also fully verbal and can communicate that information even while stressed.

In this very non-ideal world, I\’m not honestly sure there\’s enough market for such an idea.  If you know someone who\’d like to know if their business is autism-friendly, though, give me a shout.  My rates are very reasonable. : )