Book Review: 22 Things a Woman With Asperger\’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

22 Things a Woman With Asperger\’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know, by Rudy Simone, is a set of 22 short essays around the title\’s theme.  This is not a long book, at less than 150 pages.  Each essay gives a decent amount of food for thought, so this isn\’t a quick read despite the page count.  The tone and writing style is nearly conversational, and quite easy to follow, making this a book you could hand to pretty much anyone.  

As you might be able to guess by the label \”Asperger\’s Syndrome\” in the title, this is a book about a subtype of autism.  Specifically, women that were given the \”Aspie\” diagnosis rather than the \”autism\” or \”high functioning autism\” diagnosis.  Formally speaking, the difference doesn\’t exist any more.  The DSM 5 came out about a year after this book was published, and it erased the DSM 4R\’s existing autistic subtypes.  This book speaks to a subtype within one of those deleted subtypes.  

If this subtype applies to you, your partner, or your grown child, this book may be extremely useful.  It describes various facets of autistic behavior and how they may look in yourself or your loved one.  If the subtype does not apply, the book may still have some use, but it should be read with a salt shaker close at hand (ie: take the advice in these essays with a grain of salt, or in literalist terms, pay extra attention because the advice may or may not apply to your specific situation).

As for me personally?  The AsperGirl subtype seems to describe me fairly well.  Not perfectly, but enough that I\’ll be handing this book to my spouse and asking him to read it when I\’m done with this review.  

The most useful essay for me personally was the 5th one: \”Everyone\’s a critic… but she\’s better at it than you.\”  This is a sticking point for me and for our relationship.  I do have high standards and expectations, and those can be hard to live up to.  The essay puts those more in context, and recognizes that sometimes the autistic person simply needs to learn to lay off.  That\’s probably a lesson I should work on further…

I should note here that this book does not make the mistake of portraying the AsperGirl as perfect in every way, and the reader (assumed to be her partner) as simply not understanding her or not being good enough for her.  The author recognizes that a relationship is about balance, and that AsperGirls can be prone to various failings, including destructive behavior.  

Also, winning the award for Having a Clue, there was a section titled, \”Even if you think of her as a woman, she might not.\”  There is significant crossover in the autistic and nonbinary/trans populations.  I, for example, identify as agender, which is a type of nonbinary.  And I do not consider my gender to be female.  Biologically speaking (sex), I\’m female, but that\’s as far as that goes.  My physical parts have very little bearing on my interests, my values and initiative, and the people I care about.  This essay acknowledges this as a somewhat common.

Having read this book, I regret not looking into the AsperGirl community earlier.  I did know it existed but I guess I didn\’t put in sufficient time and effort to find it.  With the exception of a couple essays (one of them on motherhood), almost everything in this book accurately described me.  I can\’t stress enough how unusual that is for a book about autism: a diagnosis that\’s typically best described as a trashbin (where everything under the sun is chucked).  

Obviously, your mileage may vary.  Sensory sensitivities may vary.  Not every AsperGirl is going to be highly critical.  Coping mechanisms vary.  It\’s usually a massive red flag when an author gets very specific about descriptions and doesn\’t have too much by way of open-endedness, but in this case, for this subtype of a subtype?  Seems pretty accurate to me.  

Read This Book If

You or your loved one fit into this subtype of a subtype of autism (Aspie female or assigned female at birth), or are somewhat close. All people with autism are different to some extent, but this book fit me stunningly well.  I could see parents and professionals benefitting from this book, but its audience is very specifically loved ones of women with Asperger\’s Syndrome.  I did get a lot of good info out of it, which suggests I should look into other works of Rudy Simone\’s.  At less than 150 pages, it packs a lot of useful information without being overly wordy or wasteful of the reader\’s time.  Highly recommended!

Reading the Research: Autistic Wiring

Welcome back to Reading the Research, where I trawl the Internet to find noteworthy research on autism and related subjects, then discuss it in brief with bits from my own life, research, and observations.

Today\’s article builds on the understanding that autism is a brain condition, not a medical disease.  

I do find the hope of having a singular treatment to \”repair\” the autistic wiring more than a little shortsighted.  There\’s a difference between improved functioning and \”cured\” which is kind of the vein \”repaired\” goes into.  One more for the folks in back: I am not broken.  I am different.  The fact that y\’all built a society that excludes people like me is not my fault.  

While reducing my suffering and the suffering of other autistic people is a noble goal, take care not to decide my differences should be eradicated.  The mental illnesses I developed from trying to fit into society are suffering.  The spikes of painful sounds in everyday living, like alarms and sirens, are suffering.  The gastrointestinal issues I have are suffering.  

The fact that my brain is more specialized and less social?  That\’s not suffering.  It\’s human diversity.  

Setting that aside, I learned from LENS that there is no one true brain layout.  When you muck around in brain connections, you quickly find out there is no \”normal.\”  The size and strength of parts of the brain vary.  The strength of connections varies.  Trying to shoehorn one person\’s brain to be like another\’s is stupid at best.  

Rather than try to make some kind of wiring diagram to make autistic brains adhere to, it\’s more reasonable to figure out how to prod our brains into functioning best as compared to ourselves.  That\’s the process that was done to me in LENS, and even  on a crap day like today, I\’m still doing better now than I was basically every day in college.  

Should these researchers stop what they\’re doing?  No.  But an attitude adjustment is definitely in order.  Also: mouse models.  It\’s always mouse models.  

(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter, which has links and brief comments on studies that were interesting, but didn\’t get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)

Autism Research Program (2020 Edition)

 It\’s that time of year again.  Despite my having served in this program for three years and that usually being it, they called on me for the fourth year to fill in for someone who had to drop out.  

The TL;DR of the program is: \”When the US isn\’t at war, X amount of military money gets put into various research programs to support the troops and the US public.  The ARP is one such program, and there\’s another for breast cancer, and like three dozen more.  Unlike most research programs, the ARP and others include members of the public in their rating panels.  This is so the approved and funded research is not only scientifically valid, but also useful to the community.  

This inclusion of people affected by the condition is not the norm, by the way.  Typically they ask scientists, and only scientists, what research is worth funding.  It\’s a trend that\’s shockingly forward-thinking for the US government, and one I hope to see more in years to come.

This year, unlike previous years, everything was done over video and voice calls.  Typically this program involves needing to fly to near Washington DC to meet with everyone in person, but because of the coronavirus mucking everything up, that wasn\’t an option.  

I have nothing positive to say about being on a Zoom call for 5 hours a day, but we did, at least, get the work done.  I have to say, I much prefer the in-person experience.  It\’s easier to get people to see you as a fellow human and recognize the validity of your experience if they have to look at your face.  

The in-person experience also makes people more able to function as a team, in the main because there\’s usually time at meals to chat and mix.  In the past I\’ve sought out a particular bioethicist because of her outstanding insight into not only the ethics, but also the needs of the community.  There was no opportunity for that this year.  It was a pity.  

Still, the support staff handled the difficulties of the all-virtual conference with grace and zero lost tempers.  All the work got done.  As usual, I was Opinionated and more critical than most people in the room.  I like to think my lack of rose-tinted lenses makes the discussion more objective, and I suppose the fact that they keep inviting me back at least lends itself to supporting that opinion. :3

Anyway, the official press release is below.  I took great satisfaction in amending their suggested \”he/she\” to \”they\” as befitting my gender of \”no thanks.\”  They can\’t stop me, and it\’s more accurate anyway.  

————————————

SCIENTIFIC PEER REVIEW OF CONGRESSIONALLY DIRECTED MEDICAL RESEARCH PROGRAMS’ AUTISM RESEARCH PROGRAM FOR THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE

The Congressionally Directed Medical Research Programs’ (CDMRP), Autism Research Program (ARP) consumer advocate Sarah Frisch recently participated in the evaluation of research applications submitted to the ARP. Sarah was nominated for participation in the program by Autism Support of Kent County, in western Michigan. As a consumer reviewer, they were a full voting member, (along with prominent scientists) at meetings to help determine how the $15 million appropriated by Congress for Fiscal Year 2020 will be spent on autism research.

Consumer reviewers are asked to represent the collective view of patients by preparing comments on the impact of the research on issues such as diagnosis, treatment, and quality of life. When commenting on serving as a consumer reviewer, Sarahsaid, “It\’s a challenging and lengthy process, but highly rewarding.”

Consumer advocates and scientists have worked together in this unique partnership to evaluate the merit of research applications since FY07. COL Sarah B. Goldman, Director of the CDMRP, expressed her appreciation for the consumer advocates’ hard work. “Integrating consumer perspectives into our decision-making process brings energy and focus to our research programs. Patients, caregivers, family members, and advocates help us keep our efforts centered around what is truly important to those impacted. We very much value this critical input from our consumers who help ensure that CDMRP’s work remains critical and relevant,” she said.

Scientists applying propose to conduct innovative research that advances the understanding of autism spectrum disorders and leads to improved outcomes for Service Members, their families, and the American public. The ARP fills important gaps not addressed by other funding agencies by supporting groundbreaking research while encouraging out-of-the-box thinking.

More information about the CDMRP’s ARP is available at the website: https://cdmrp.army.mil/arp/default.

______

Media Contact: 

Kate Poindexter
Public Affairs Specialist
Ripple Effect
Supporting the Congressionally Directed Medical Research Programs,
USAMRDC
301-619-7783
Kathleen.poindexter.ctr@mail.mil

Worth Your Read: Bringing Parents and Adult Autistics Together

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-life-aspergers/202007/your-autistic-child-is-perfect-and-may-need-help

There are two majors schools of thought around autism at present. 

Autism as a Disease

The first, the older of the two, is the one most often held by medical professionals and parents: autism is bad.  It makes our children and loved ones suffer.  We should look for a cure and try to help those with it rather than letting them struggle on their own.  This viewpoint includes the medical model of disability as well as Autism $peaks\’ brand of demonization. 

At its best, it\’s the worried but ignorant parent, misled by possibly similarly ignorant others in positions of authority.  Such people simply want the best for their loved ones, and see the autism as the summation of the child\’s problems, whether those problems are caused by society or internally.  But something that, with the right treatment, could be taken away so their cherished child would finally thrive. 

At its worst, this philosophy devolves into rampant ableism.  Tyrannical individuals who won\’t stomach human diversity.  Only some idealized neurotypical \”way of living\” is correct, and all that don\’t fit into it must be forced to do so.  Abusive and coercive ABA \”therapy\” is common, and the mental and emotional scars of such cruelty \”for your own good\” can last decades.  Pointing out that some of our disabilities are societally created, like the unfairness of the job hiring process, doesn\’t typically phase these kinds of people.  The retort tends to be, \”that\’s just how it is, deal with it.\” 

Keep in mind that while many things are wrong with this philosophy, it isn\’t totally wrong in every aspect.  It acknowledges that autism comes with challenges, regardless of whether those challenges are medical or social.  It recognizes the need for help and support.  It\’s what got autism research started, and what lead to the good therapies we have, such as Floortime, our AAC tools, and things like probiotics, enzymes, and nutritional supplements. 

Neurodiversity

The second is the neurodiversity movement, which opines that autism is good.  That human diversity in general is good, and that the human species needs people who are different to survive and thrive.  The social model of disability features here, which notes that some disability is socially created. 

For example, the state of hiring for jobs, especially ones with upward mobility, is slanted heavily against autistic people.  When getting a job, it\’s far more often \”who you know\” than \”what you know.\”  Autistic people may be experts at our hobbies and interests, but without the broad social networks and ease of communication (and white lies) that our neurotypical peers have, we typically don\’t get hired.  And if we do, we\’re often fired for not fitting in.  This is simply how things currently work.  It is not an innate problem with us.

The best of this philosophy is perhaps a conscientious young autistic adult, likely abused by \”therapeutic\” ABA, fighting for inclusion for all people to the best of their ability.  Typically such a person is highly verbal, and while they may struggle in day-to-day life, they may not suffer the crippling chronic medical issues that other autistics must face.  As such, they may not advocate for all the same things that someone with epilepsy, intellectual disability, and gasto-intestinal issues might.  And they may not understand or be able to advocate for users of AAC.

The worst of this philosophy is the sort of person that thinks their experience of autism is everyone\’s, and while they may struggle with some things, overall their perception of their life is literally, \”There\’s nothing wrong with me, and if neurotypical people would stop being jerks and just accept us, we\’d all be fine.\” 

This sort of person may believe that people with more serious disabilities simply need to try harder, or that all their problems are created by neurotypical people, or that if other autistics would adopt a certain diet that helped them, and then everything would be fine.  Unfortunately, you cannot simply diet away epilepsy, visual processing differences, muscular communication challenges or cerebral palsy.  Certainly, a good nutritious and balanced diet can help manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life, and might even help improve the severity of these challenges.  But cure?  No.  This mindset is shortsighted to the point of being cripplingly flawed.  Challenges exist.  Help may be required to manage them.

The other falling down point here is that making a society that works for all kinds of human diversity does not start by telling one group to drop everything and change.  At the moment, the situation is mostly the neurotypical majority telling the autistic minority to do exactly that.  But what these sorts of people advocate for is the polar opposite: autistic people shaping policy for ourselves, without input or care for neurotypical folks.  And sometimes, without input or care for members of any other minority group, such as our fellow minority groups: black and brown folks, people with mental illness, religious minorities, and others.  While only one of those examples fits the \”neuro\” in neurodiversity, these other minority groups include autistic individuals. 

In fact, even if the world was literally only neurotypical people and autistic people, and all those other groups didn\’t exist, the fairest form of society is a compromise.  Autistic needs should be supported and accommodated, but those needs vary, sometimes widely, and having neurotypical people avoid things simply because they might upset an autistic person means a lot of metaphorical walking on eggshells, possibly pointlessly. 

Putting It Together

The thing is, at least in the best case scenario, we all want the same thing: better lives for autistic people.  We may disagree on what that looks like, and each autistic person is different and has different needs, interests, and desires for life.  Like John Elder Robison in this article, I hope someday to help these two groups find common ground so we can more powerfully and effectively advocate for change.  
As is often the case around an issue, there are differing opinions and each side has the tendency to go off the rails.  The truth of the matter is often in the middle ground.  In this case: some autistic people are absolutely disabled, and innately, not merely socially.  This is a fact, not an opinion, and no amount of arguing or whining about neurotypical people being terrible will make it not true.  However, autistic people are also not merely our disabilities.  We are also our strengths, our joys, our quirks, and our creativity.  Humanity needs us, and it has for thousands of years.  Rather than be alienated from humanity in institutions, we should be supported so we can live our best lives within the larger community of humanity.  
I wish this wasn\’t such a hard concept for both sides.  

Worth Your Read: Parental Support For Bullied Autistic Children

http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2020/06/when-autistic-children-get-bullied-how.html

I\’ll start out by saying I was bullied in elementary school, from grades K to 3.  It only stopped when I changed schools.  Particularly galling was the fact that it was a Christian elementary school, and a small one.  You\’d think people would have, I don\’t know, noticed, cared, and done something about it.  Apparently not.

This is not uncommon, as I understand it.  I can\’t honestly remember how much I told my parents, or the school.  I do think I told my mother, and despite her crippling depression she did give me some pointers that helped somewhat.  The situation wasn\’t resolved, though.  And I don\’t think the school did anything that helped, assuming they believed me at all.  Upon arriving at the new school district in a different state, I essentially resolved to be antisocial forever to avoid being in a similar situation ever again.

That resolution lasted right through middle school, where one of those \”let\’s help the outcasts and outsiders make friends!\” groups slapped me together with a pair of fraternal twins who decided to adopt me as a friend.  As things sometimes do, one friendship led to another and by the time I moved again, I was losing a small network of people I\’d grown fond of.  So it goes.

This was in the 90\’s, which was before smartphones were invented, before social media became a thing, and before everyone carried the Internet in their pockets at basically all times.

This article focuses on in-person bullying, specifically that experienced in schools.  While this is absolutely a current concern, notably missing is any discussion of cyberbullying.

Some of the same considerations apply: presume competence, believe the autistic person, and take care how you ask for information about what\’s going on.

For an article more focused on cyberbullying, Kevin Healey has this story, and there\’s an additional resource here.

So far in my life, I have yet to meet an autistic person who hasn\’t been bullied.  Usually we\’re the favored targets, above and beyond all typical bullying, due to our tendency to take people at face value, our unusual mannerisms and passions, and our smaller support networks.  Let\’s do better for today\’s kids.  

Worth Your Read: Ask vs. Guess Culture

https://tellmevarric.tumblr.com/post/613906274411823104/ask-culture-and-guess-culture

My spouse ran across this concept from the Internet and shared it with me.  It\’s been very helpful in improving our communication. 

The linked thread is somewhat long (worth reading the full thing, though!), so I\’ll summarize as best I can.

There are two ways of making requests of others.  Say we need to get from Home to Point B, don\’t have the money for rideshare, and don\’t have a car. 

The first is throw caution to the wind and directly ask.  You might call or text friends and family, saying, \”Hey, could you give me a ride to Point B?  My car\’s in the shop right now and I\’m stuck. : (\”  This is Ask Culture, where you can ask for whatever, but you need to be ready to take No for an answer. 

The second is to hint at people, and hope they\’ll volunteer what you need without you having to ask.  It relies on shared expectations and values.  So you might call or text family, and when they ask how you\’re doing, you might say, \”oh, not great, my car\’s in the shop and I\’ve got an appointment at Point B soon.\”  This would clue the other person into your need, and, since they care about you, they might offer you a ride if they\’re able. 

You have not directly asked, and so if they can\’t offer you a ride, they don\’t need to risk hurting or disappointing you by telling you no.  Instead, they might say something like, \”Oh, that sounds terrible.  I wish I wasn\’t home alone watching over the kids- they\’ve got the flu right now.\”  The person has thusly let you know, by way of \”why they can\’t give you a ride to Point B,\” that they are unwilling to give you a ride to Point B.  This is Guess Culture. 

Now, in the original Facebook post my spouse shared with me, someone opined that these two Cultures are equally valid. 

You can probably see where I\’m about to head here. 

Hi, I\’m autistic.  One of these cultures is how I operate naturally, and one of them actively, pointedly, and directly disables me.  Equally valid?  Don\’t be ridiculous. 

Guess culture is rife with literally everything I\’m disadvantaged at: advanced theory of mind, reading body language, subtleties, talking around things rather than directly about them…  All because people don\’t want to say no or be said no to?  Holy forking shirtballs, people. 

The world does not end if someone turns you down.  It may be disappointing, and you may need to find another option, but.  Seriously.  Nor does the sky fall if you have to say no to someone.  If it upsets you that much to do either of those things, you really need to find out why these very normal parts of life are so upsetting to you, and get to work on changing that and learning to be more open about your communication.  Life involves No. 

Another autistic in a different reposting of this thread said, \”guess culture is to autistics as an ice-coated cobblestone beach is to wheelchair users.\”  This is pretty well accurate.  At least the beach can\’t help being what it is.  People can choose how they communicate. 

My spouse and I come from very different backgrounds when it comes to this.  My family, I think, did a mix of Ask and Guess cultures, but because I am who I am, I default pretty heavily to Ask Culture.  My spouse, on the other hand, comes from a pretty thoroughly Guess Culture background.  Needless to say, communicating has been difficult at points. 

The cycle is easy to describe.

I, being somewhat oblivious and exhausted at many points, miss the hints that he tries to give to clue me in that I should offer something.  In turn, he becomes snappish or sad because I haven\’t offered the thing he\’s been cluing me in that he wants.  At some point, an argument starts between us for some unrelated-but-valid reason.  The issue escalates well beyond reasonability, and at some point I learn that my spouse is upset because he wanted me to offer this thing and I didn\’t. 

I become even more frustrated because he didn\’t simply ASK for what he wanted, and he tells me he didn\’t ask because he didn\’t feel comfortable doing so.  I tell him I can\’t read minds and that if he wants something he needs to ask for it, citing that I\’m autistic.  Both of us leave the discussion frustrated, hurt, and sad. 

Thankfully for both my sanity and my marriage, my spouse is working on practicing Ask Culture.  Because my spouse defaults to Guess Culture in times of stress, I am also working on recognizing the signs that I\’m being Guess Culture\’d at.  I can then choose whether to ask straight out, \”Are you Guess Culturing me for something?\” or handle it in some other way. 

I don\’t really appreciate having to put in the extra effort when I\’m stretched thin as it is, but since I love my spouse, it\’s a price I\’ll pay.  I\’m hopeful that at some point I won\’t need to, though.  Guess culture is neither kind, nor helpful, nor supportive for autistic people.  It is rife with passive-aggression, misunderstandings, and chronic over-thinking.  The only reason to learn to deal with it is because other people don\’t give you the option not to.  

Worth Your Read: Finding a Good SLP (and other support personnel)

http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2020/05/finding-right-speech-language.html

It can be really hard to quantify what makes for a good therapist.  Most typically, I\’ve stumbled, blindly, through finding my professional supports.  That haphazard discovery process seems all too common in families with autistic people, unfortunately.  Whether it\’s Medicaid assigning you people or picking blindly off a list of qualified individuals that are covered by your insurance, there\’s a lot of trial and error involved in finding good support for yourself and/or your kids. 

That\’s why people often rely so heavily on recommendations- whether that\’s from parents at parent support groups, or directly from autistic individuals.  If you aren\’t already, I strongly suggest you get hooked into the local autism community. 

It\’s not always possible to get those recommendations, or even if you do get them, the recommended people may not be available to serve you, or turn out to be as good as you were hoping. 

That\’s why I was pleased to see this guide to selecting a Speech-Language Pathologist.  While it is very specifically geared for that type of support service (and includes a guide to why an SLP is such a good investment), many of the recommendations translate effortlessly into helping you select a good therapist, home care professional, peer mentor, and even primary care practitioner. 

I can\’t stress how important it is to have a supportive care team that listens to your concerns and works with you.  With these criteria in hand, you can choose safe and effective professionals and support staff that will help you or your loved one be a happier, healthier, more successful version of themself, not abuse them in pursuit of some imagined standard of normalcy.  

"Rehoming"

Hey folks?  Raising special-needs kids is really hard.  We all know this.  Sometimes people need extra support to manage the task, like therapy, scheduled self-care time, respite services.  That is okay, and normal. 

Sometimes, people simply aren\’t equipped with the resources they need to raise a child.  That\’s less normal, but it does happen.  In that case, the correct response is to contact an agency that\’s experienced in handling these things…  not to hand your child off to some random people on the Internet.

This is apparently horrifyingly easy to accomplish, thanks to the convenience of the Internet.  And naturally, the folks often looking to receive children this way aren\’t… exactly… star parent material. 

Here\’s a summary of an investigation into one child\’s experience with \”rehoming\” from Reuters, plus significantly more data from one online marketplace.  While the article mainly focuses on children adopted from overseas, the majority of the children \”rehomed\” like unwanted dogs and cats had some form of listed special needs… and the vast majority of the rest didn\’t come with any data on the subject.  Personally, I\’d bet at least half of the \”unlisted\” children had some form of neurological difference or mental illness. 

I don\’t think I should have to say this, but: children are not pets.  They are not ornaments to boost your status.  There\’s a word for treating children like this, and that word is \”monstrous.\” 

There are reasons for the laws and red tape that guard the process of giving a child up for adoption, and it\’s to prevent those children from becoming trafficked into the sex industry, abused by people unfit to care for even animals, or even being murdered and simply disappearing. 

If you, or someone you know, is overwhelmed by the task of parenting someone with autism, special needs, etc, that\’s okay.  There are options available to you. 

In Michigan, you can get help through your local Community Mental Health.  They can provide respite care and help you get support services for yourself and your child.  If you adopted, the agency that helped you adopt will likely have some supports to help.  For example, Adoptions From The Heart has this page and Adopt US Kids has this one.  Michigan also has an organization called MARE that provides resources as well as arranging for adoptions.

MARE also has links to resources in other US states here, and for traveling military members.  You may also receive assistance here.

Please remember that needing help raising a child is not failure, it is life.  The saying is \”it takes a village to raise a child,\” and most of us these days don\’t have social circles as wide as a whole village.  Seek these resources to support yourself and your child(ren), and recommend them to people who are struggling.  

Magazine Review: NYT\’s Understanding Autism

While in the checkout line at my local super grocery store, I happened to spot this:

I typically don\’t find anything of interest in checkout lines, especially not things related to autism, so I was rather surprised.  I decided to buy it (rather expensive, at $15!) and find out what the New York Times thought was essential for people to know about autism and people like me.

The intro article was by Steve Silberman, which was a promising start.  He\’s known for his support of the wider autism community and his care to point out that autism has been in the human genome for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

On the whole I approved of most of the intro article, though I thought describing Andrew Wakefield\’s set of case studies regarding the MMR immunizations and autistic traits as \”launching a propaganda war\” and Wakefield himself as a \”charlatan\” was a bit much.  There was also a very brief mention of Dr. Asperger\’s link to the Nazi party, which kindly described that as \”shadowing him\” and politely failed to mention the fact that Asperger literally sent less verbal autistic children to death camps.

After the intro article, the magazine went more into short \”my life/my family\’s life with autism\” stories arranged into categories, such as  \”Autism and Science,\” \”Child and Family,\” and \”Aiding the Autistic.\”  I was pleased by the number of women included in the stories, and there seemed to be some effort to include people of color within the pages as well.  Since autism is not a \”whites only\” condition, I\’m glad to see this effort to show more than just the usual faces for autistic people.

There was a somewhat of a bias in the article towards employing autistic people in tech jobs.  While some of us can make livings that way, it\’s not true that all of us can or even want to, even when the appropriate work environment is provided.  So I found that a limiting factor of this publication.

Regarding the article on autism-friendly travel, it talks about SeaWorld Orlando, which I visited very early this year.  The article seems to imply that the entire of SeaWorld is now certified, which… surprises me, given the noise level of the place overall.  I did visit the Sesame Street section, which was a bit better and had other amenities, including a sensory-friendly quiet room and a family resting area.  It seems like the certification only requires a single quiet room for an entire park, which…  seems excessively minimal to me.  SeaWorld is enormous and exhausting to walk through.  I\’d honestly argue for one quiet room for every two bathrooms…  But I\’m probably asking a bit much.

I was rather disappointed with the science aspect of the magazine.  Much of the most promising research into autism is now done with brain scans and various forms of neurofeedback and brain stimulation.  The only things covered in this publication were genetics (still basically a dead end) and chemical exposures during pregnancy (which is a great way to guilt parents- very unhelpful).  Those two things were basically it for the science section, save for a little blurb about how the MMR vaccine doesn\’t cause autism.

Where is the interview with John Elder Robison about his experience with TMS?  Where is the discussion of the interesting differences in brain anatomy we can see on brain scans?  Heck, where\’s the discussion from the autistic community on neurofeedback?  I have some notable things to say, like how I can now smile at cameras and babies, after almost 20 years of being unable to.  Are these too new, too unbelievable, too scary?

The highlight of the publication, for me, was an article called How to Meet Autistic People Halfway.  It talks about how autistic people are social, but our mannerisms and communication skills may make it appear otherwise.  This quote was what really made the article for me:

Insisting that autistic people behave in ways that they are unable to can lead to feelings of learned helplessness, self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, and eventually, social withdrawal. 

As an autistic participant in one study explained, \”I have been endlessly criticized about how different I looked, criticized about all kinds of tiny differences in my behavior.  There\’s a point where you say, \’To hell with it, it\’s impossible to please you people.\’\” 

This sentiment exactly is where a lot of autistic adults end up, myself included (to some extent).

Worth Your Read?

Eh…  I dunno if I\’d spend $15 again on this magazine.  It had some good things to say, including pointedly noting that autistic people can also be female, a piece about how autism is badly portrayed in popular media, and of course, \”To hell with it, it\’s impossible to please you people.\”  I was very disappointed with the science section of the magazine, as it lacked… well, really anything of recent note.  A piece on TMS, neurofeedback, or even brain scans would have been appropriate, but all they wanted to talk about was old news: genetics, vaccines, and chemical exposures.  Yikes.  
This honestly struck me a publication that\’s less of a \”oh, autism, what\’s that?\” kind of deal, and more, \”here\’s some things to think about regarding autism that you might not have before.\”  Which is fine, but it doesn\’t strike me as useful for harried parents or even autistic people ourselves.  So I guess this publication was more for special education teachers, professionals, and \”vaguely interested yet already somewhat educated\” relatives and others.