WYR: Soundproofing for Autism Sound Sensitivity

woman wearing black sleeveless dress holding white headphone at daytime

I can’t begin to stress how important soundproofing is for my daily wellbeing. Sound sensitivity in autism is a common experience. I’ve talked about sound sensitivity before in the context of noise-canceling headphones. As much as I love my headphones, it’s simply not feasible to wear them everywhere.

So today, thanks to Autistic Science Person, we get to talk about soundproofing. Or sound dampening, since getting a room to truly be silent is quite a feat. And not necessarily good for the people inside anyway. (Imagine always being able to hear your own heart beat and the blood rushing through your veins, and it might become a bit clearer as to why perfect soundproofing is not ideal…)

Sensory sensitivity is an issue I personally deal with every day. It mostly affects my hearing, and it works like this:

For a full 60 seconds, stop everything you’re doing. Listen to your environment. Are there people talking? Fans running? Appliances humming? Pets moving around the house? Geese, songbirds, or airplanes flying overhead? Is a TV on somewhere? Really strain to listen and identify every thing that’s making noise. If you’re able, write down every source of noise you can hear in that minute, no matter how quiet or irrelevant it seems.

Now, how much of that noise were you aware of before doing this exercise?

If your brain and hearing are typical, you most likely were only aware of the loudest thing or two in your area, unless it was relevant to you personally. Your brain, you see, filters out noise it considers irrelevant. This is generally a good thing. It keeps you from having to pay attention to stuff that’s not important. It’s a mental trick to save energy.

People with sound sensitivity don’t have that filter. Or if they do, it doesn’t function as well as it should. Because of that, we can easily become overwhelmed by loud noises or noisy environments.

Noise-canceling headphones and earplugs are the first and most obvious line of defense for autism sound sensitivity, but as Autistic Science Person says, they’re not always an option. Also, having a safe space to retreat to when overstimulated is incredibly important for my wellbeing.

My current home is fairly well soundproofed against noises from the neighbor we share a wall with. But there’s only so much you can do when the house is directly on the typical path to the airport. I honestly don’t mind the airplanes, for the most part. In my first apartment, I also didn’t mind the trains after I got used to them. These sounds are somewhat predictable and I can immediately identify them, which helps me manage always hearing them.

When I lived in apartment buildings, it was significantly worse. The soundproofing was minimal, especially when it came to the hallway. Doors slammed all the time. People yelled in the hallways. The buzzer to open the front door would go off at random intervals, and sometimes people would just buzz random apartments until someone let them in. Sometimes you could hear disagreements in other apartments.

I don’t miss all that extra noise. If I do the listening exercise I had you do before, I hear the air purifier fan, the hum of the HVAC, the hum of my computer, and that’s about it. Anything else, I choose to add to my environment. I’m presently bird-sitting for some friends, so that’s adding to my ambient noise. I also have a livestream (think like live TV) going to help make the bird comfortable. But I have it on very quietly so I can ignore it better.

I would still really like to have a space that’s decked out with acoustic foam, as Autistic Science Person suggests. Maybe, in time, I could rig the bedroom with that foam or with egg cartons or whatever the less expensive options are. Or create a quiet sensory box, like one autism dad did for his kid.

I love Autistic Science Person’s recommendations in their post. They have direct links to good sources for acoustic-dampening foam and guides for how to install it. They’ve also put together a Ko-Fi for families that really can’t afford to buy foam or have it installed.

I’ve personally bookmarked this post about managing sound sensitivity with autism, since I’ll want it for later. I hope you find it useful too.

RtR: Theory of Mind via Bilingualism

heavy rocky cliff on coast washed by foamy ocean

Welcome back to Reading the Research! I trawl the Internet to find noteworthy research on autism and related subjects to share with you. Along the way I discuss the findings with bits from my own life, research, and observations.

Today’s article suggests a useful approach to teaching theory of mind and associated skills to autistic people.

Theory of mind, for those who aren’t familiar, is a person’s ability to understand how another person might be feeling. It’s the metaphorical “putting yourself in another person’s shoes,” and it’s also part of empathy. It’s also the ability to recognize other peoples’ knowledge, beliefs, emotions, and intents might be different from your own.

Social skills training, including teaching theory of mind, is a common service for autistic people, especially as we get older. Such training is expensive and complicated. What if there was a way to start it young, rather than playing catch-up later?

Surprise! There is: learning two languages at once. The skills needed to learn two languages and select which one to use when talking to people translate into regular practice with both theory of mind and executive functioning. Practicing those skills makes them easier. And the constant practice means the person will become fast and efficient in using those skills. As a bonus, they now have multiple ways to verbally express themself. If you can’t think of the word you want in English, maybe you can in Spanish or Chinese.

Other Benefits

This is more difficult to make happen in the US than it would be in Europe. But it’s still quite possible. Making connections with immigrants in your area can benefit your family and theirs. One of the lessons of neurodiversity is that diversity makes life better and richer. There’s a lot to learn from other cultures. And immigrants are often very giving, hard-working community people. Trading timeslots watching the kids so others can take some time off is quite normal for them. Plus it eases the burden on everyone.

A bilingual person also has more opportunities available to them when they grow up. It never hurts these days to be able to speak Spanish, especially in the service industry. In the business world, speaking Chinese or Japanese can be very helpful for talking to business partners.

I personally think that even if you grow up monolingual, like I did, it’s worth learning another language or two. Learning about other cultures and other ways of thinking and speaking can really help you see the world in a different way. And for some autistic people, living in another country is the ticket to being treated like a human instead of a weirdo. The locals are more forgiving of mistakes. Errors are simply attribute any strangeness to the fact that you’re foreign.

That’s an experience I’ve never had, but it’s something I really wish I had.

(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter! There are links and comments on studies that were interesting, but didn’t get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)

Book Review: I Am In Here

I Am In Here: The Journey of a Child with Autism Who Cannot Speak but Finds Her Voice, by Elizabeth M. Bonker and Virginia G. Breen, is a “my family’s story with autism” book with an emphasis on the author’s relationship with the Judeo-Christian God. As such, I’ll get a bit into my own beliefs during the discussion. As a note, the mother-author of “I Am In Here” is a privileged white woman with significant resources at her disposal, which is not uncommon in these books.

Cover of the book I Am In Here- a side head view of a white middle-school aged child in front of a grassy meadow with mountains in the distance.
Cover of the book I Am In Here

The book is somewhat deceptively titled, to my annoyance. Elizabeth, the autistic daughter, doesn’t seem to have had much say in how the book was organized. The account is very much from the mother’s perspective, and most of the writing is hers. “I Am In Here” is sprinkled through with pieces of Elizabeth’s poetry and prose, fitted in with the mother’s account of the growing up and life on the spectrum story.

I should note that Elizabeth is actually not the only autistic child in this family. Her older brother, Charles, is also autistic. But he’s rarely mentioned in this book. His autism is more like mine. It saddens me that his mother hasn’t used his experiences to help understand hers at all. They may be different people and have some different experiences, but what he struggles with may also be what she struggles with.

Finally, the author-mother of “I Am In Here” makes the typical medical/parental mistake of equating autism to “everything that’s wrong with my child.” She repeatedly wishes for “recovery from autism” for her daughter. Neurodivergent readers should try not to take offense. This is the wish of a mother that wants to see her daughter happy and free of suffering, not a eugenics-focused monster.

Caution: Lots of Christian Musings

When I was doing some advance research on this book, I ran across a particular complaint over and over. It was that, in the second part of the book, the mother loses the story of her family in musings about God and her relationship with her daughter. This is a very accurate complaint. People that aren’t religious or spiritual might find the insight into a suffering believer interesting, but it might also simply feel annoying.

Personally? I believe in God. But I also became annoyed. The author spends a significant amount of time desperately trying to pray her daughter into being able to speak. On one hand, I understand this. Speech is a mode of communication we (definitely including me) take for granted. It’s the default in typical human interactions. Any mother would want her child to be able to speak. If nothing else so that they could communicate with more people, faster. We live in a world that doesn’t give the metaphorical time of day to alternative communication methods, after all.

However… God is not a vending machine. There is no way to pray that’s so perfect that God is somehow forced to give you what you’re asking for. That isn’t the point of prayer. My understanding of prayer is that it’s to talk to God, yes, and ask for things you want… But mainly it’s to help you be mindful, reframe your thinking, and align yourself with His perfect and good plan for the world.

It saddens me that Elizabeth’s existing communication (typing and using PECS and a letterboard) feels sidelined and undervalued, compared to the focus on speech. “I Am In Here” overflows with her poetry. Yet the mother’s single-minded focus on speech implies a certain amount of inability to see past the neurotypical world and its values.

Why Suffering?

The author also struggles with the question of why suffering is in the world at all, which is a normal and entirely reasonable question anyone might ask of an omnipotent God. Especially when you and the ones you love most are suffering. My best guess is that God has opted to self-limit his power to respect the free will of all his creations. Unfortunately, free will means the ability to choose wrong. We have to live with the consequences of those wrong choices… but so does everyone around us, including God.

Autism is a neurological difference that often comes with medical conditions. The brain and body can develop differently because of any number of things. Some of these are air pollution (a choice made by people in industries), toxic substances in plastics (also people in industries), genetics (a product of peoples’ choice of mates), and other factors.

Besides the co-occurring medical conditions (which can be very significant, like epilepsy), autistic people are often disabled by those around us. We think and act different than neurotypical people. We stim when upset or when happy. The people around us often see these differences and reject or avoid us. Because they do that, our work opportunities are fewer and more limited. It reduces our ability to make and keep friends and connections. Our chances to thrive and develop our interests are fewer. This is why autism is a disability, even after you set aside the co-occuring medical conditions.

Speaking of suffering, the mother writing this book describes an incident when Elizabeth contracted a rare brain virus. The virus caused her a lot of pain, and in response she began a lot of self-injurious behavior.

Good Parenting

I want to highlight this incident because although it was horrible, the mother did a lot of things right. She listened to her child when she said it hurt, and differently than usual. She observed her child’s behavior and recognized there was a serious issue. The author didn’t accept “that’s just the autism” from medical professionals. Instead, she tried option after option, searching for every possibility until they found what was going on.

I also want to highlight something in particular in the next:

This was a dark time of trying medication after medication. We just tried to get through every day. Nothing helped very much or for very long. Some medications made her much worse and were immediately discontinued. Every time I placed a new pill in her mouth, I felt terrible because I believed we were not dealing with the root cause, only its terrible outward effect.

Page 228-229 of I Am In Here

This is a revelation I wish a lot more people would have. Because yeah, most medication prescribed today is only to treat the symptoms. Psychiatry is particularly guilty of this, but the overall field of medicine in the US is as well. Finding and treating the root cause should be the primary focus of healthcare, not simply easing the symptoms and washing your hands of the matter.

All too often with co-occurring medical conditions, the root cause is unknown. And in many cases, it’s quite expensive to try to find those causes. Which, as an aside, is why I think universal healthcare should be guaranteed for all people. You shouldn’t have to be rich to get good medical care.

Read This Book If

You’d like to experience a “my family’s story with autism” involving a nonspeaking autistic child and a mother with a significant Judeo-Christian faith focus. The title is deceptive. This book is not from the autistic child’s perspective. Her writing and poetry is included, but the mother clearly organized and directed the flow of the narrative. The author-mother also clearly makes the typical medical/parental mistake of equating autism with (almost) everything that makes her child suffer. Beyond that, “I Am In Here” can be a valuable, eye-opening read into the nature of faith, hope, perseverance, and transformation.

RtR: Parents, Take Care of Yourself Too

Welcome back to Reading the Research! I trawl the Internet to find noteworthy research on autism and related subjects to share with you. Along the way I discuss the findings with bits from my own life, research, and observations.

Today’s article underscores, with data, what I typically tell parents of autistic people: Take care of yourself too!

I think most people can agree that raising a kid is difficult. Maybe there’s a few non-parents out there that wouldn’t agree, but personally, I have no doubts. Little humans are complex things, constantly changing and presenting new challenges. Raising a child may be fulfilling, but it’s also stressful.

You’re needing to manage yourself, hopefully as a good example for your kid. Then you also have to manage your kid and make sure they don’t accidentally hurt or kill themself in any number of creative ways. Finally there’s still your life, which includes work and relationships with friends and family. All at the same time. Being a parent is stressful. This is a true fact before you mix in neurological differences and medical conditions.

Adding Autism or Other Conditions

Once you start adding in those medical conditions and neurological differences, the pressure and isolation grows. Parenthood is a fairly open club, but when your baby cries basically all the time when they’re awake, the “shared experiences” feeling starts to drop off.

The frequent trips to the doctor, to specialists, even to the hospital, take their toll. Your own health and wellbeing fall by the wayside as you desperately try to meet the needs of your child with services, professionals, and whatever other tools are at hand. There’s financial strain, often. The most common form of martial discord is arguments about money. That puts additional stress on a parent who may already be struggling with managing appointments, doctors, therapies…

Basically, I’m saying that even if your kid doesn’t have the alphabet soup diagnoses with serious consequences, like cerebral palsy, serious heart defects, and genetic disorders), it’s a really tough life.

An Egotistical (but not really) Sign

At some point in my early teens, my mother had a little sign in the kitchen that read: “Mom’s happy, everyone’s happy.” As I recall, it came with a smiley face, and an admonishment to take care of yourself. At the time, I thought it was kind of egotistical. My dad, my brother, and I were all separate people with our own lives, concerns, and emotions. It seemed an absurdity to presume that one person being happy would sometime short-circuit everyone around them.

This book might be why she had that sign…

In retrospect, it was a pretty typical autistic black-and-white reading of the sentiment. I wasn’t wrong, mind you. Someone being happy near you isn’t going to snap you out of depression or solve a chronic health problem.

However, I wasn’t entirely right either. How people act around us can tip our moods up or down. If someone (coughmeusuallycough) is stressed and upset on a regular basis, it can tip a nearby person’s mood downward. Especially if they spend a lot of time with that person. Naturally, living with someone pretty much guarantees that situation. Over time, those effects can add up.

My mother suffered major depression for most of my childhood. While I couldn’t have told you exactly what was going on, I did know she wasn’t happy a lot. I had no knowledge of diagnoses, and only the faintest sense that things could have been different. But it affected me, too. I could sense when things were worse than usual. Her mood affected the overall mood of the house, and thus my mood.

Take Care of Yourself… Even if it’s Only for Your Kids

You are a better parent, friend, role model, teacher, and employee if you take time for yourself. Self-care is sometimes talked up to being extravagant. You can book a weekend at the spa, sure. Or a vacation somewhere without the kids.

But it doesn’t have to be expensive and lengthy. It can be five extra minutes on the toilet reading a magazine. Or 15 uninterrupted shower minutes while your spouse watches the kids. A cup of tea and a few minutes of journaling before your child is awake, or after you’ve dropped them off at school or therapy.

Taking care of yourself also means getting therapy for yourself, if it will help you. It means taking time for your marriage, friendships, and family outside childcare.

I recognize this isn’t an easy suggestion to take. Time is a scarce and precious resource for autism parents. But I promise you, your kid will be happier if you do.

(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter! There are links and comments on studies that were interesting, but didn’t get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)

WYR: Conflicts of Interest in Autism Research

woman holding a magnifying glass

I ran across an article from Ann Memmott recently about conflicts of interest in autism research. The article proper is worth your read, and so is the research paper she was responding to, but I also wanted to give a bit of background in what she’s talking about.

Her main point is that a lot of autism research has been done by people that have no right to be doing it. Most notably, a lot of Applied Behavioral Analysis professionals have produced most of the research on the subject. Obviously they’re going to want to say, “Yes, ABA works!” If they don’t, they lose their jobs. (Alas, this is not the only problem with ABA…)

A more typical example of this kind of thing would be a teacher being asked to grade her daughter’s homework. Or a judge presiding over the trial of a family member or close friend. A doctor who owns stock in a pharmaceutical company taking a job to test their products. In each case, someone with an obvious bias accepts the role of an impartial judge.

Poisoning the Well

In science, we call this a conflict of interest. Because it produces inaccurate, unfair, and untrustworthy data, educators always teach avoidance of conflicts of interest. Authors should be honest about their conflicts of interest. As a failsafe, publishers should keep them honest by doing their homework on each author. Presently, my research suggests publishers don’t do that homework much, if at all.

Left unchecked, the compromised researchers may publish data they made up. The funders of the research can push for types of research that’s likely to show the results they want. Or, more subtly, companies can demand a certain type of analysis and interpretation of the research results. Finally, companies can try to suppress research results they don’t like. In all cases, greed and ego twists or hides the truth.

It’s worth noting that even if the researcher chooses not to act on their biases, it still counts as a conflict of interest. The issue is that they have that chance, and may unconsciously act on it. Even as they do their best not to in service of the truth.

A single false study can influence future research. The way science works, researchers pick topics to study based on the results of previous research. So if product A is effective according to a false study, future research teams (who may or may not be corrupt) may choose to study variations of Product A. We hope that the future teams’ data will show the truth, but that doesn’t always happen. The future teams may simply conclude that Variation 1 of Product A was not as effective as the original Product A.

This is how whole streams of research theory can be based in lies, and turn out to be pointless. This is, Ann Memmott says, exactly what has been happening in autism research.

Hypothetically

When I served on the DOD’s Autism Research Program as a community reviewer, each application had a section to disclose conflicts of interest. We had every possible option to avoid committing the offense, right down to, “I suddenly realized I have a conflict of interest, weeks after I’ve read, rated, and reviewed this paper.” The organizers were very studious about sending identified conflicts of interest out of the room before each application.

The thing is, I don’t know whether any research was done into the reviewers to be sure they were honest. I never had any conflicts, because I’m not a member of any institution that does research. Beyond my typical existing biases, like “please don’t commit eugenics and erase autistic people from humanity,” I don’t have the connections and relationships with such entities. I’d certainly like to think the government did its due diligence and made certain no conflicts of interest affected the reviewers, but I truly don’t know.

I strongly suspect the Department of Defense wouldn’t publicize a conflict of interest in their scientific reviewers. It would reflect badly on the organization. They would probably blacklist the lying scientist and not hire them again, but not publicly denounce the offender. If they did publicly denounce the scientist, that scientist’s reputation would be ruined, and their career would be over. If the conflict of interest was accidental, that’s a good scientist’s life and career ruined forever. Instead, the organization would likely hire a replacement and move on.

Generalizing

It’s not much of a stretch to assume prestigious publications might take similar courses of action. In the current culture, people seem to distrust organizations that admit they made a mistake. Rather than risk their own reputations, a publication might decide to simply let the conflict of interest slide. Assuming, of course, they even noticed it in the first place.

Also, the number of research articles and proposals submitted for publication has risen over time. It costs money and time to hire people to look into every potential author. In the industry, the norm appears to be simply taking the potential authors at their word. In high profile cases, a publisher might retract a published study and condemn the author. But this doesn’t happen often.

Moving Forward

Honestly, I’d like to see jobs specifically hunting for conflicts of interest in the publishing industry. Clearly, we cannot rely solely on the honesty of researchers. It would be wise to create an additional check on the publication process.

As I understand it, this problem is not specific to the autism research community. Pharmaceutical research suffers from a plague of corruption exactly like this. Which means many possible jobs. These jobs could be remote, requiring only an Internet connection and a knowledge of how to find people’s publishing history, resumes/CVs, etc.

Honestly, this is the sort of job I might like doing. It’s a job detail-oriented autistic people overall might thrive in.

RtR: Laughing Gas Treatment for Depression

man wearing mask for laughing gas

Welcome back to Reading the Research! I trawl the Internet to find noteworthy research on autism and related subjects to share with you. Along the way I discuss the findings with bits from my own life, research, and observations.

Today’s article is about this new laughing gas treatment for depression. It looks to me like a new fad, to be honest, or perhaps simply a stopgap measure. Depression commonly occurs in overstressed, exhausted, or chronically ill autistic people. It’s also more and more common in the overall population. The incidence rate in autistic people is higher than the overall population, but both rates continue to rise.

I’ve had some things to say about “treatment-resistant depression” before. Very quickly, the only treatment they’re saying didn’t work was drugs. Because “throw pills at it” is the basic response doctors are giving most conditions now. There are a lot of problems with this, but I’ll spare you the rant. Suffice it to say depression can also be treated with proper nutrition, supplementation, regular movement and exercise, changing one’s diet away from ultraprocessed convenience foods, and a host of other, shockingly ignored options.

A Temporary Solution?

So, nitrous oxide, or laughing gas. I mostly recall this substance from the dentist, and even then, I don’t think I experienced it much. I mostly recall misery and anesthesia in my dental experiences. However, it didn’t take long for me to find a scientific paper warning against any use of nitrous oxide. And another that informed me that repetitive use was a poor plan, and yet another that suggested repeatedly using this gas can reduce the body’s ability to process vitamin B-12, which is important for making DNA and keeping your nerve and blood cells healthy. Insufficient B-12 can lead to megaloblastic anemia as well.

As such, I really wouldn’t expect this laughing gas treatment for depression to replace anti-depressants in the short or long term. More likely, it will come to compete with microdoses of ketamine as a stopgap measure. Like ketamine, it can be given quickly and relatively easily to a suicidal person in major distress. And like ketamine, the results are quick and last for enough time to get slower and more permanently useful measures, like therapy and social supports, into place.

Treating Depression

Please make no mistake: depression has causes. Some of them are psychological or trauma-based, but some are biochemical in nature. If you eat convenience and ultra-refined food, you will feel like trash. If your work or hobbies don’t involve much movement, that hurts your body. Chemical additives in our food, cookware, plastic items, etc. get into our systems and stay there, gumming up the metaphorical works. The burden of unhealthy environments and choices adds up, and the brain suffers. Sometimes that suffering is experienced as depression.

Will fixing your diet, adding in movement, and using safer products cure every type of depression? Of course not. It will help, though, and it’ll make the therapy and social supports more effective. And it gets closer to treating the cause of the problem than popping some pills (that often do not work) or routinely breathing a gas that we already know has significant long-term effects.

At the end of the day, we already know what treats depression best: therapy paired with a healthier lifestyle and improved social supports. Drugs can sometimes help, but they often cause as many problems as they solve. Laughing gas, or nitrous oxide, is no true solution for curing depression.

(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter! There are links and comments on studies that were interesting, but didn’t get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)

Book Review: In a Different Key

In a Different Key: The Story of Autism, by John Donvan and Caren Zucker, is a dramatized storyline of the evolution of how we understand autism. At 551 pages plus the bibliography, timeline, and notes in the back, it is a lengthy read.

The writing style has more in common with Life Animated or Neurotribes than any other works I’ve read. This is likely due to the authors’ backgrounds in journalism and other media. You won’t find the classical autistic “frank, direct, and explanatory” tone in these pages. Nor will you find the loving and earnest tones of a parent fighting for their child. Instead, it’s a more restrained style. Dramatic, but you have to look carefully for the authors’ opinions of the people and ideas. The idea is to seem as non-biased as possible in service of the truth.

Despite that stylistic difference, In a Different Key is still readable to a layperson. But I will say it took me the better part of a week to get through it. I like to think I’m no slouch in reading speed and comprehension, but this was a dense read, even for me. It covers over a hundred years of history and several major social movements. Some names I recognized from my previous research. Others I didn’t.

Part of the difficulty in understanding the book for me was the sheer number of names. There are a lot of players in this history of autism. Keeping them all straight was difficult for me, and from my reading of Neurotribes, I know the authors didn’t even include all the major characters. I could have used a “Who’s Who” section in the back of the book, alongside the timeline, bibliography, notes, etc. That said, no less than a quarter of In a Different Key’s pages are “back of the book” resources. Adding a few more pages to an already lengthy read was perhaps not a high priority for the publishers.

An Education with a Couple of Gripes

This book was an education. It was an incomplete education, I should note, but it’s still highly valuable. And infinitely more digestible than poring over the letters, documents, interviews, and other sources. Among the movements it describes are the infamous “refrigerator mother” theory, the eugenics movement, institutions, behaviorism (ABA), neurodiversity, and the amorphous definition of autism.

An irk of mine kept cropping up while I read In a Different Key. The writers seem to tie up each movement, such as the institutions issue, with a neat little bow at the end. It’s feels like, “and then this issue was settled and no one was institutionalized after that.” I am very sorry to say that institutions absolutely still exist. They aren’t as centralized as they used to be, and now come in the form of group homes, state schools, and intentional communities.

Not every entity with those names will be an institution, but if the autistic person doesn’t get to make their own choices, go out when and where they want (with supports as needed), get the help they need to meet their goals, meet new people and spend time with friends and family, it’s an institution. Please feel free to read this literature about the subject.

The same goes for the behaviorism issue. Applied Behavioral Analysis was completely flawed and abusive in its inception. And it may have grown and changed over time. But I can safely say people continue to send their small children to centers, or sign up for in-home ABA therapy. In fact, prior to understanding how damaging ABA can be, I worked in one. That was less than 10 years ago. The era is hardly over. Despite the adult autistic people advocating against it with a truly vigorous fervor..

Biases

The first and clearest bias to me in reading In a Different Key was their kind treatment of Dr. Leo Kanner. Having not read the literature myself, I couldn’t say whether their “he liked the limelight but really, his focus was helping the children” interpretation is truly accurate. I can say that a lot of my other reading was much, much less forgiving, and tended to believe that Kanner was egotistical.

The next was the treatment of Andrew Wakefield. The vaccine controversy is flatly exhausting, and I won’t explain it in detail here, but it’s not as simple as they make it out to be. Vaccines can, and do cause harm. Anything, including the very substance that makes up more than 70% of our own bodies, can harm people. There is an entire legal framework constructed especially to investigate and handle such vaccine harm cases. If vaccines were truly 100% safe, no such things would be needed.

However, vaccines are also incredibly important. The ability to protect our most vulnerable from killer viruses and infections with herd immunity is one of modern society’s greatest triumphs. I will never argue that vaccines should be discarded. They are, however, something to be careful with. In vulnerable people like myself, the preservatives and added chemicals can overload an already struggling body and cause significant harm. The chances are very low, but they exist, and I don’t feel that In a Different Key did justice to that reality.

Neurodiversity

Finally, the authors of In a Different Key have essentially represented the entire neurodiversity movement with one person: Ari Ne’eman. This is hilarious reductionistic, as there are dozens or even hundreds of advocates that are part of the movement. Where was the section about Maxfield Sparrow? Where is John Elder Robison? Or Ann Memmott, Dr. Stephen Shore, or really any of the other contributors on this list? It was as if it was too bothersome to recognize the diversity of the spectrum.

Again, I have not read the correspondences that the authors used to craft their narrative. But I do feel Ne’eman was more or less presented as a myopic leader, unconcerned with the plight of autistic people with greater medical needs and less mainstream communication than his own. This is a typical criticism of the neurodiversity movement, to be honest. It’s often put forth by parents insisting that autistic people that pass for neurotypical can’t possible know what their life is like for nonspeaking, medically burdened children. That we’re somehow so different that there’s no reason to listen to us.

The fact is, neither side is entirely correct. The ability to pretend to be neurotypical does not mean the person is somehow not disabled. It doesn’t mean we don’t have similar medical difficulties. And it certainly doesn’t make us less autistic somehow.

But the neurodiversity movement also goes too far. Some proponents of it argue that all disability stems from social sources. That if people would simply accept us, there would be no disability. This is an absurdity, of course. Medical issues, while not actually autism, are prevalent in autistic people. You can’t love a person’s food allergies away. An imbalance in gut bacteria can’t be hugged or talked away. Treating it is the only way the person can thrive. Advocating otherwise is thoughtless at best.

Focus and Overall Agreement

The authors contend (and I agree) that the overall focus of parents, neurodiversity advocates, and many (though not all) of the medical and philosophical experts is the same. All parties want good lives for autistic people. The trouble is that the definition of autism is very unclear, and so is what constitutes a good life.

If the definition of autism contains chronic gut dysbiosis, mental illness, seizures, aggression, and the assumed lifelong lack of interest in others, of course it’s reasonable for autism parents to want a cure. They are literally watching their children suffer every day. Who would live like that and not want something better for their children? Certainly not I.

Obviously I have a bias of my own. I do feel that if you want to know what it’s like to live with autism, and what a good life for autistic people is, you should ask the actual autistic people. Discard your perfect narrative of “school -> college -> good job, dating -> marriage -> kids -> grandkids.”

Maybe those things are what your loved one wants. Or maybe school is painful for them and they’d be happier working with their hands in a technical school, or a blue-collar job. Perhaps they love kids, but don’t want their own. Maybe they’re happy living a solo life, with friends but no partner. Or perhaps they’ll end up in a polycule relationship, surrounded by people who love them for who they are.

Autistic people are startlingly different at times. Don’t shoehorn us into an imagined perfect life. Find out what we love. That’s what should be in our lives.

Read This Book If

You want to read a history of autism and don’t mind devoting a significant amount of time to the effort. It’s not a perfectly complete history, as it mostly stops at 2010. At times In a Different Key is biased and limiting. It boils the neurodiversity movement down to a single advocate. However, for the amount of territory they had to cover, the authors did a pretty good job of writing this book in a digestible, if lengthy format. I had a lot of gripes in reading this book, but I can’t deny it’s a quality publication. Do read it, but keep your metaphorical salt shaker on hand so you’ll have plenty of metaphorical salt grains ready to take with the material.

Reading the Research: ABA is Abuse

Welcome back to Reading the Research! I trawl the Internet to find noteworthy research on autism and related subjects to share with you. Along the way I discuss the findings with bits from my own life, research, and observations.

Today’s article aligns that data with what autistic self-advocates have been telling us all along about classic Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA): that it is, in fact, abuse disguised as therapy.

This is a controversy I’ve mostly kept out of (mostly). I was not forced into an ABA program when I was young, because my family didn’t recognize I was autistic at all. So I don’t have the personal experience and scars and trauma that many adult autistics carry as a result of this “therapy.” I can’t personally say “ABA is abuse” and have the firsthand pain to prove it.

However… there are a great number of personal reports from other autistic people, as well as former ABA therapists and parents to attest to the abusive nature of what they experienced.

For those without the time to follow and read or watch all these links, I’ll boil down some issues quickly.

Classical ABA considers behavior irrelevant, except when it’s exactly the behavior desired. This is problematic because all people communicate via behavior.

Paying attention to behavior is even more important with nonspeaking people. You can’t rely on words for knowing how they’re doing and what they’re interested in, so you have to pay attention to their behaviors and actions instead. Essentially, the therapy promotes ignoring the child except when they’re performing as desired. This teaches the child that nothing they have to say is important, and their feelings are pointless.

The desired behavior is typically some estimated standard of neurotypical development, not whatever is normal and healthy for the child.

Autistic people develop at different rates than typical children. They may be faster or slower, or both at the same time. Even typical children develop at different rates. Expecting an autistic child to adhere to an idealized development schedule is an absurdity. Furthermore, it teaches parents, practitioners, and children alike that being autistic is bad and wrong. It promotes that acting neurotypical at all times, at the cost of yourself is the only safe path. Never mind that camouflaging is painful and exhausting and can even drive us to major mental illness and suicide.

ABA stigmatizes stimming and other coping mechanisms.

Stimming is a self-generated coping mechanism, specific to that person. It helps us regulate our emotions, feel more comfortable, and reduce stress. There are many kinds of harmless stims, like flapping hands, spinning, rolling, touching specific textures or having particular smells. These serve an important purpose, not the least of which is communicating how we’re feeling. Forcing the autistic person to stop stimming is oppressive and cruel.

ABA teaches that our bodies don’t belong to us and our consent is irrelevant.

I hope I don’t have to explain why this is bad. ABA often involves ignoring a child’s No or request for a break, physically forcing the child to be still, and taking things forcefully from them. They learn, therefore, that what they want doesn’t matter. How they’re feeling doesn’t matter. And because these are often small children, there is no chance they can fight back. We learn that it’s normal for others to use our bodies as they see fit. No surprise, then, that sexual abuse is so common among autistic adults who’ve experienced ABA.

40 hours a week is far too much.

Remember these are children, with a lot of growing and learning to do. This program is essentially a full time job, long before that’s even slightly reasonable to ask. Autistic people need to develop in our own ways, and learn about ourselves. We are highly individual people, and that means care and space and time need to be involved. Typical ABA gives none of that. 40 hours a week, plus homework for both the child and the parents.

The Actual Article

There’s more. So, so much more. But it’s a bit beyond the scope of this post. Today’s article is… well, it’s a continuation of what’s basically an argument, in science.

A couple years ago, there was a meta-analysis study published that concluded that ABA therapy is both abusive and ineffective at helping autistic people. Meta-analyses look at years of clinical trials and other studies and try to find patterns, so that ideas can be tested and truths be made clear. They hold more weight than the results of a single study.

Seeing this meta-analysis was unfavorable to their jobs, some ABA practitioners got together and published a response. Basically, they attempted to refute various points in the meta-analysis in their own report. Today’s article is a response to that response, doing pretty much the same thing in return.

These arguments are longwinded, as is the way of academia. Like any argument, it’s unlikely either side will change their mind on the subject. The hope is to influence others to their way of thinking.

My bias is pretty clear, I think. I feel that if a thing is in question, one of your best resources is the people who live that reality. I don’t care if the subject is farming, life in another country, or autism. You can learn some from reading secondhand reports and articles, but the best information is from people with firsthand experience. And they tell us quite clearly, in great numbers, that ABA is abuse.

Maybe not every ABA clinic is horrible, abusive, and damaging. But when nearly every autistic adult with ABA experience is against it, that should be quite clear to anyone listening.

(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter! There are links and comments on studies that were interesting, but didn’t get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)

Autistic Burnout and Surviving a Day at a Time

I have a confession to make. I am more than 30 years old and I still really don’t have a system of tracking and recognizing when I’m approaching autistic burnout. The situation Anne Corwin describes here, running on momentum, operating on a depleted state until a crash happens, is the story of my life.

I’ve written on burnout before, but it seems particularly relevant after last year’s COVID lockdown. A lot of people got a taste of burnout during that time. Sometimes it was the lack of people, sometimes using technology like Zoom, sometimes it was simply cabin fever. Or all of these, plus more.

Perhaps it was a familiar sensation for some people. For me, it certainly was. It was, in fact, almost normal.

How It Started

Autistic burnout has followed me my whole life, beginning with the demands of school. The fact that I liked learning and was fairly decent at learning in the school setting helped somewhat. But the fact is that the demands of peer interactions, the incessant noise, and the roughness and tags in my clothes all stole my energy. I was expected to develop at the same rate as my peers. But in a lot of important ways, I simply couldn’t keep up. I withdrew into myself rather than reach outward the way my peers did.

I’ve mentioned that I was bullied in elementary school, quite possibly as young as 1st grade or even Kindergarten. I can’t quite remember, but I do recall very little help was forthcoming from either the school district or my parents. Efforts were made to enlist my teachers, mostly with no results. The bullies still targeted me day after day. So naturally I withdrew more, because I just needed to survive the day. Every day was like that: the environment exhausted me, and then people went out of their way to make it worse.

That was how my life went, and it continued even after my dad’s job necessitated moving to another state.

Crashes

I can count, on one hand, the number of times in my adulthood that I’ve publically crashed and inconvenienced or upset the people around me. Two.

Once, when I was already doing poorly and we visited my grandmother in a temporary nursing home, I became overwhelmed and had to leave the building to hide in the car. At the time, my mother suggested I learn to predict things like that, so everyone wouldn’t be uncomfortable again in the future. In retrospect, it was a hideously ableist thing to say. Uncharitably boiled down, that translates to, “it is not acceptable for you to visibly be upset, so expend extra effort so others won’t be discomforted by you having emotions.”

I’d be mad about it, but that’s the exact tripe society teaches most women. She merely repeated the same toxic expectations expected of all of us.

The second time was the visit of a then-friend from college. We talked for a very long time, and my brain began to fill up with words. I didn’t recognize I was running out of energy until it was too late, and I ungracefully bundled her out of the apartment and said goodbye. I’m quite sure she was hurt, and when it was later discussed, she suggested the exact same thing as my mother.

I’ve never been able to follow their advice. If I was a car, the gas gauge would be stuck just above Empty, with the warning light on. I simply don’t seem to have a functioning interface to tell me I’m 15 minutes or 2 small failures away from a crash, or a meltdown.

Mostly, I simply avoid the possibility of a crash. That means avoiding a lot of social situations, outings, and possible adventures. Not a healthy, viable solution, I don’t think.

Still Overwhelmed

In all honesty, I don’t think I’ve moved that much beyond that “I just need to survive today” mentality, even after literal decades. I’ve learned to think in the long term, make important decisions wisely (or as wisely as possible). Projects have due dates, after all. I made and kept various medical and social appointments. I managed myself well enough to graduate from college with a Bachelor’s degree and hold an internship and a couple jobs.

It’s probably fair to say I developed the adult skillsets around the existing survival mindset. Autistic burnout is an ever-looming threat, fended off a day at a time.

The thing is, the world hasn’t become much less overwhelming. Existence is still loud and full of sounds that cause me pain. People are still demanding and not understanding. And though I’ve raised my voice to protest and explain, it still doesn’t really feel like people are listening.

My personal experience aside, one could argue things have actually gotten worse. Take 2016’s sharp nosedive into open tribalism and white supremacy. The decades of murder, violence, and exclusion visited upon the black and brown communities coming into sharp focus for white middle class people like me. And of course 2020, the year many people locked ourselves away except for work. It was the best way to avoid killing our friends and family with a virus we weren’t prepared for.

I’m not the only one feeling overwhelmed. A lot of my autistic friends went into almost total radio silence during the pandemic. I haven’t asked whether that’s because they, too, had collapsed in on themselves in autistic burnout. I hope not.

Reading the Research: Understanding Feelings

Welcome back to Reading the Research! I trawl the Internet to find noteworthy research on autism and related subjects to share with you. Along the way I discuss the findings with bits from my own life, research, and observations.

Today’s article suggests something interesting about how understanding feelings works. In turn, that suggestion might clarify something about how autistic people process emotions, and why we so often seem to have alexithymia. (Alexithymia is the word that describes when people have trouble identifying and describing emotions.)

Graphing Emotions

As mentioned last week, the latest research shows you can graph all emotions on an X and Y axis chart. If you’ll forgive a hastily drawn MS Paint drawing…

A simple X and Y axis graph for understanding feelings.  X axis is Calm to Wound Up, Y axis is labeled Pleasant to Unpleasant.  All emotions fall within these two axes.
The latest way to graph emotions. Seems kind of basic, doesn’t it? Understanding feelings seems like it ought to be more complicated, but at least according to the latest research, it’s not.

Emotions can be graphed on this chart fairly simply. The energy of the emotion is in the calm-wound up axis. If you’re calm but the feeling is unpleasant, appropriate words might be sad, depressed, or tired. If you’re wound up/high energy and the feeling is pleasant, you might feel excited or joyful.

The thing that always surprises me about this concept is that the measurement on the pleasant-unpleasant scale is entirely subjective. For example, anxiety and excitement are literally the same “wound up” / high energy feeling. The only question is how you personally feel about the situation causing that emotion. If it’s a good thing, then it’s excitement. If it’s a bad thing (or you’re prone to pessimism or anxiety in general), you’ll read it as anxiety. Make sense?

The Study

Moving on to the actual research… the team of researchers had (presumably neurotypical) people listen to a collection of nonverbal people sounds expressing various good and bad emotions. They then had to identify the emotion based on the sound. They did fairly well recognizing the moderate to higher range of emotions. But beyond a certain point, people could only recognize the intensity of the emotion and how energetic it was. And below moderate, the same was often true.

Now, this study was about perceiving emotions via hearing. But something the mentioned here seemed right on point. Natalie Holz, the lead author, said, “At peak intensity, the most vital job might be to detect big events and to assess relevance. A more fine-grained evaluation of affective meaning [the emotion] may be secondary.” Translated: it might be more important to recognize intense emotions exist and decide whether you need to care about them, than to figure out exactly what’s being expressed.

Internal Experience

While she may have been talking about the experience of processing a loud shout or scream, the idea seemed about right in describing how I process emotions internally as well. The stronger an emotion is, the harder it is for me to put a name to it. I might easily describe small irritations, like the ducks pecking on my sliding door, as “slightly annoying.” But large things, like the positive emotions I felt on my wedding day, or negative ones arising from regular friction points with my spouse, defy categorization. It’s about all I can do to pin them down to a quadrant and recognize that they’re intense emotions.

It really becomes less an issue of which emotion I’m experiencing, and more “what do I need to do to survive this situation?” The exact emotion is irrelevant, because I need to make sure I don’t say or do something I’ll regret later. I have the most experience with negative emotions. But even positive ones can sometimes end with your metaphorical foot in your mouth.

It’s known that autistic people often have trouble understanding our feelings and those of others. The Intense World theory suggests that autistic people may feel things more strongly than typically-developing people. Given the overlap of alexithymia and autism (as high as 85%), it might be reasonable to suppose my experience is fairly common.

How about you? Are you also overwhelmed when you experience very strong emotions, or are you always able to name what you’re feeling?

(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter! There are links and comments on studies that were interesting, but didn’t get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)