book review

I recently visited my parents\’ home, and they kindly provided me with a couple more books to review before I brave the library again.  This book, to my befuddlement, has an enormous signature across it and a dedication to myself and my mother.  I can\’t make out the signature in its entirity, but the first letter is definitely T, which suggests Dr. Grandin herself signed this copy at some point.  I have yet to meet the good doctor in person, so I\’m slightly jealous. 

Anyway, this is effectively a guidebook for autistic job-seekers.  Common challenges in finding and keeping a job are discussed, from sensory processing issues to etiquette requirements.  There\’s the mandatory section on how to sell yourself, which is somewhat different for autistic people than for neurotypical people since people skills aren\’t our forte.  That\’s all pretty standard material for this type of book.

What was unusual was that there were specific jobs and job-types called out as good career paths for people on the spectrum, with stories of people that had chosen those paths, and how to get into the field, what things you should know, what skills and education you might need, etc.  And there aren\’t just a couple of these to give you an idea of how to do it, there are more than a dozen different professions with their own sections. 

There\’s also a section on figuring out what you\’d like to do with your life.  This isn\’t to say \”what career should I pursue,\” which I\’ve heard plenty about already, but rather, \”What kind of work environment would I thrive in?  What kind of work (routine, constantly changing, predictable or not) do I want to have?  What are my strengths?\”  Once you have a general description of what type of work you\’re looking for, you can then take your interests and work out a way to put them together.

This updated and expanded edition also has a specific section for starting and managing your own business, which is a major subject for people on the spectrum.  It\’s probably just as well that I own this book, because I and several of my friends are likely to benefit from the advice therein…

As is fairly standard for books related to autism and jobs, the authors suggest taking your special interest and finding a way to make it marketable.  This can involve some associational stretching, since a person fixated on NASCAR probably won\’t become, say, a driver for NASCAR, but might have better luck becoming a car mechanic or an accountant for a track.

This \”apply your special interest and go\” approach is fantastic for a lot of people on the spectrum, but not all.  Most notably to me, well, me.  This doesn\’t render the rest of the book useless, and in truth, doesn\’t even render that entire section useless, since I still have interests.  I just lack the basic autistic ability to focus on a single subject for literal hours at a time, I guess.  Given all the emphasis on this facet of autism, I\’m starting to feel like I\’m defective or something. 

Speaking of being defective, Dr. Grandin is negative about exactly one interest: video games.  She has no use for them whatsoever, and makes this very clear in the book.  I am saddened by this, though I understand her reasoning.  Video game addiction, where people do nothing but play games for hours on end, is, like other addictions, unhelpful to having a productive, healthy life.  And people on the autism spectrum can be particularly difficult to shake off of that particular addiction, because of that intensive focus mentioned earlier.

The issue is, of course, that it\’s very easy to take a concern about addiction and transform it into \”video games are all bad, nothing good comes out of them, and everyone should avoid them!\” which is kind of the sense I\’m getting from Dr. Grandin.  Like most extremist viewpoints, it\’s wrong.  Video games help develop hand-eye coordination, fine motor control, problem-solving skills, and even social skills when playing with others.  In some cases, an interest in video games can be turned to careers, such as graphic design, programming, or even various areas of art.

I will certainly not argue that video games should be one\’s only form of entertainment, and one\’s sole activity in life, but to my mind, in the end, they are simply another form of interest, and one that can be channeled into a career, the same as any other.  To their credit, the authors do mention that exact thing, so at least it\’s not an unending parade of negativity about video games.

Read This Book If:

Yes, I know, why am I reviewing a book that doesn\’t have autism in the name or apparent subject?  Well, the author is autistic as well as dyspraxic, she\’s from the UK (and somewhat, from Saudi Arabia) and this particular book comes with a recommendation from a friend I\’m rather fond of.  Plus, this particular, conversational writing style is a nice change of pace from my usual fare.

So what is dyspraxia, and how is it related to autism?  It\’s a disorder of the motor systems of the body, which can include speech.  You know how some kids (and sometimes adults) on the autism spectrum in the US can be extra clumsy, seem to have trouble keeping their limbs organized, or have absolutely horrid handwriting (despite their and others\’ best efforts)?  That\’s dyspraxia.

Basically, it\’s one of many words and concepts that comes with what we, in the US, call the autism spectrum.  Not every autistic person has severe issues with balance and coordination, but many of us do, at least to a small extent.  The author of this book has it to a much larger extent, which I presume is why the book focuses on the dyspraxia rather than the autism or any other labels she acquired in her lifetime.

As I read this book, I recognized several coping strategies for innate clumsiness that I used growing up.  The author talks about holding a pen or pencil with more fingers than she was taught to, because it gave her greater control and stability whilst writing.  To this day, I quite literally hold my pens and pencils with four fingers, which results in crabbed, heavy handwriting that is, I\’m sorry to say, execrable.  It\’s a kindness to eyes everywhere that computers came into fashion and became so prevalent, so I can type and text what I need to say rather than subjecting people to more of my atrocious handwriting.

I also made a point of watching where I walked very carefully, lest I trip over my own feet or on otherwise apparently flat surfaces.  This meant my view, walking home from the bus stop after school, was almost invariably my own feet, and the sidewalk.  Ms. Biggs speaks of similar precautions (often sadly insufficent) to guard against her clumsiness.

Actually, she has an absolutely dizzying range of suggestions for changing one\’s house, kitchen, commute, and life to be more dyspraxic-friendly.  I do wince a bit at the scope and bluntness of her suggestions; in a group living situation, 2-4 other people might not be too keen on changing how everything is laid out and things are done, just for one member\’s comfort and safety.  On the other hand, if the change would save them broken dishes, glasses, and other valuables…. perhaps they\’d find it all worthwhile.

I wouldn\’t know, as I was fortunate enough to have enough sense of my limbs to only occasionally break things.  I was also fortunate in that my parents paid for roller skating lessons in my teens, which made me learn balance… over time, anyway.  Bruises were acquired in vast quantities before that happened, of course, and I have no doubts whatsoever that I was one of the more unpleasant, uncheerful students that teacher had ever had.  But I did try (begrudgingly), and I did learn (slowly), and to this day I can do some very basic \”fancy\” skate tricks.  Between that and the karate lessons, I was able to learn better gross (whole body, large muscle groups) motor control.

Fine motor control was another animal entirely…  It\’s fine motor control that factors into speaking, and fine motor control that lets you write smoothly and clearly.  I… eventually learned better fine motor skills via origami, and a semblance of readable writing via a calligraphy class… but to this day, I\’m not sure I would call myself good at it.

By the sound of it, Ms. Biggs had many of the same difficulties, but moreso.  She actually dedicates an entire chapter near the back to suggesting activities to help boost muscular control, focus, etc.  Rather than roller skating and karate, for instance, she did Arabic dance.  And she compiles suggestions from lots of other dyspraxic people.

The book, by the way, is stuffed full of other peoples\’ quotes and stories, in addition to Ms. Biggs\’ own.  If I had to guess, this book was written shortly after the author received her diagnosis, after she\’d reached out to organizations and people and found, to her joy, that she was not alone and was, in fact, now connected to dozens of people that could laugh with her about her trials in living, and often helpful suggestions from their own lives.

The tone of this book is almost unceasingly positive, even when relating the immense difficulties the author faced growing up without a diagnosis to light the way.  It\’s actually a little too strongly positive to me, which makes me wonder if the author was purposely banishing any depressing, negative thoughts she has on the subject.  That would be fair, I suppose, given how much she was told, growing up, that everything was her fault, and made to feel awful.  It\’s not like she\’d want, even accidentally, to risk depressing people with similar scarring.

A last note: the author\’s viewpoint here has moments of what I understand is the standard mistake of the extremist end of the neurodiversity movement.  That is, insisting that our differences are never, ever disabilities, and always gifts.  While dyspraxia, and indeed autism itself, come with some potentially amazing gifts and possibilities… they also come with a set of challenges and difficulties that… I don\’t think is accurate to call \”gifts.\”  If you literally can\’t focus in a classroom because there\’s a specific type of lightbulb that only you can see flicker, or the fan is on, or people are whispering… that\’s not a gift, it\’s a hindrance.  You may be able to use that awareness for the betterment of yourself and others, but that doesn\’t make the fact that it\’s a hindrance go away.  You do get extra awesomeness points for managing to channel the hindrance into something positive, though.

I may be reading the author wrong, but this is an easy mistake to fall into, when the entire world is telling you you\’re a failure, an awful mess of a person that isn\’t even human, and that everything is your fault forever.  Because when you get the news that no, it\’s not your fault, that other people are like this too, and that they celebrate their differences and use them to enrich the lives of others, you really want to believe it.  And you should, because that\’s true and fine.  The problem is when that mentality is taken to the extreme, and the original impetus for the diagnosis, the problems in functioning that got you the diagnosis in the first place, is lost.  You can get so busy embracing your new identity as someone different and special and blameless, that you start demanding the world revolve around you and your specialness rather than trying to accommodate them, and asking in return that they accommodate you.

We cannot make a better world unless we work together. 

Read This Book If

I am told to never judge a book by its cover, and I\’ve been taught that the author is almost never involved in the appearance of a book\’s cover.  That said… I\’m really not sure how a side shot of a sad woman\’s face (with flyaway hair) is supposed to sell this book.

Fortunately, the book itself more than makes up for the cover.  If I had to summarize this book quickly, I would call it \”a philosophical and psychologically-educated discourse on anxiety in better-blended autistics, by someone on the spectrum.\”

I choose the word \”discourse\” quite purposefully.  This book is unapologetically dense.  The author, a man on the spectrum, speaks and writes regarding autism.  His background includes a thorough education in psychology, and it shows.  Many of the concepts he conveys in this book reached back almost a decade now for me, into Intro To Psychology classes.  Don\’t get me wrong, the concepts he\’s trying to pass along are excellent ones, they\’re just not even slightly on the public\’s radar.

I was amused to note that Mr. Dubin, unlike many authors on the spectrum (and off the spectrum, really) does not make the assumption that other autistic people are like him.  Which leads me to wonder if learning psychology taught him not to make that mistake, as it did for me, or if some other reason lead to that recognition.  It is basic human nature to assume that others act and react like oneself, and that is why almost everyone makes that mistake.  Psychology tells us we\’re literally wired to do so.  It takes a lot of repetition and work to undermine that assumption, and even with that, we still fall back into making that assumption regularly.

What he does do, though, is try to convince you of his unusual worldview.  Mr. Dubin has adopted pieces of Buddhism, Christianity, and some of Carl Jung\’s philosophy into a strikingly unusual, but coherent whole.  It\’s a very positive, self-affirming and pro-social mindset, which I can appreciate even if I don\’t even slightly believe it.

Other than that (mainly the last chapter), the remainder of the book can potentially be useful to a philosophically-minded and patient reader.  He has specific thoughts and ideas to pass along regarding CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which is a school of thought in psychology that has scientifically demonstrated effectiveness.  He peppers his concepts with examples, but sadly doesn\’t offer any major concrete advice for applying them to your own life.  Presumably he knows how complicated / hit or miss that endeavor would be.

He also has… a slightly more positive take on meltdowns than I\’ve seen anywhere, ever.  While Mr. Dubin will not argue that having a meltdown in public isn\’t a good thing, he does argue that they serve a purpose.  Most traditional understandings of meltdowns (ie: throwing a tantrum, having an emotional overload, etc) insist that they are a sign that something is terribly wrong and they should be avoided at all costs, public or private. This author thinks that meltdowns are a way of letting off excess energy, anxiety, steam, etc, and are fine so long as they\’re in a private, controlled environment and property damage doesn\’t ensue.  He talks about having them sometimes, even now that he\’s fully grown and has learned many anxiety- and stress-reducing techniques.

I\’m undecided on my opinion of all that.  I\’ve never particularly viewed my meltdowns as a good thing, and I\’ve made many efforts to keep those meltdowns quiet, private, and lacking in property damage.  But I don\’t particularly feel like they help me much, either.  Whether that\’s because I\’m busily being upset that I had a meltdown, or because they actually don\’t help, is an open question.

Read This Book If

Be warned: this is not a happy book, humorous title or no.  This is, if the title didn\’t make it obvious, the story of a 1st generation autistic person who entirely missed being diagnosed and understood.  The results, predictably, were painful for everyone involved.

Autism, like most mental differences/disabilities, is invisible.  Meaning, if you passed me in the grocery store and got a good look at me, you wouldn\’t be able to tell I\’m autistic.  That simple fact makes people a great deal less sympathetic to my difficulties, because, as the phrase goes, \”Seeing is believing.\”  To that phrase I would add its counterpoint: \”Not seeing is almost always disbelieving.\”

There are some few wonderful tales of people rising above their misunderstandings, of simply accepting the odd or unusual person for themselves, and that person then making their way in life, not too scarred or battered.  This is not one of those stories.

The very first page of chapter one screamed familiarity at me.  It\’s a series of her traits, and how people labeled her, since they had no understanding of autism to correctly understand what was going on.  Descriptive words like \”ballerina\” are in that list, but much more commonly are negative words: inconsiderate, obnoxious, hard-headed, picky. And as she points out, everything was consistently, in the eyes of others, her fault.  Always her fault.  This is very common.  And wrong.

I can say with certainty that the blame is always placed (thrown, really) at our (autistic) feet.  It was my fault if I wasn\’t perfectly in tune with the neurotypicals around me, my fault if I reacted to the bullying in elementary school, my fault when I had anger issues, always always always my fault.

Well, screw that.  None of us asked to be born with autism.  Many of us might not change it, if we had the chance, but that\’s generally because we feel it makes us who we are.  We wouldn\’t be us without it.  You still can\’t say our autism is our fault, and the consequences that follow it, especially undiagnosed autism, cannot fairly be laid at our feet.  Frankly, the fact that neurotypicals don\’t do well with people being different… that\’s on you.  I imagine most of my readers are good, conscientious folk that do their best to get along with everyone, regardless of diagnosis… but I\’m afraid my experience is that people like that are a very small minority. 

But you know, even knowing that it\’s not our fault, those of us with sufficient awareness almost always carry, deep inside of us, the unshakable knowledge that it is our fault.  All of it, always.  Wonder no more why the depression rate is so high in people with autism.  This, and many other reasons, is why.

The other major thought I have on the contents of this book is this: the author calls out her single biggest problem in life as her sensory processing problems.  The sounds of the world were full of static, the sunlight itself hurt, textures and tastes of food revolted her, etc.  That is definitely a huge problem in trying to function in society, and the cause of a great deal of suffering, frustration, and misunderstandings.  However… I think she\’s missing a near-equal difficulty.

Autism can make us rigid of thought and action.  The author of this book, at least as portrayed here, strikes me as intensely rigid in those things.  Everything had to be just so, there was one right way to do things, etc.  Which is very unfortunate, because life itself requires flexibility, or bad consequences tend to ensue.  If the author had been able to shake her black and white thinking, she might have been saved a lot of frustration.  Some people just prefer to do things in ways that don\’t make sense, or only make sense if you really understand their lives and experiences.

A point of interest: the book is peppered with quotes, either from family members (often negative, sadly) or from influential people of various stripes.  I do wonder how they got those familial quotes, given that the author\’s parents sort of fade out of the story after college.  Perhaps they didn\’t need to reference the actual people, and it\’s as simple as all that negativity was burned into the author\’s brain.

My final comment on the book is that it\’s deeply saddening.  Everything is negative.  The hardships and struggles are all listed there, the failures, the depression, the miscommunications, everything.  But there is no bright point to this story, beyond, \”and then I got my diagnosis and everything made sense.\”  You have no real sense for the author\’s strengths, or what people liked about her.  There was only her failures, her lack of true theory of mind, her sensory problems, her mistakes.  The book only comments on her autistic focus as something that made her able to do things.  Even her resilience isn\’t really celebrated, save for one point at the start of the book.

Yet that can\’t be the whole story.  A man married her, and stayed married to her despite the trials of putting up with her.  They have children, who I can only hope still love their mother, strange though she might be.  Surely this isn\’t the beginning and end of it.  But nothing is said of her good points, only her bad ones.

That is, at least to me, reflective of the general public\’s viewpoint of autistic people, and people with mental difficulties and differences.  There is no celebration of our strengths, of our great gifts, of our unique perspectives.  There is only the deficits: \”you don\’t do this,\” and \”you can\’t see this,\” and failure after failure after failure.

Read This Book If

It had to happen sooner or later.  I reviewed a Temple Grandin book, I\’d be failing myself and everyone else if I didn\’t also review at least one John Elder Robison book.  Dr. Grandin and Mr. Robison are the first great autism speakers, the two powerful success stories that put autistic adults, and autism itself, on the public radar.  I\’d be doing myself and my readers a disservice if I didn\’t review at least one book from each of them.

I presently own three books by Mr. Robison, so I had to pick between them.  I ended up with Be Different for several reasons, not the least of which is that he himself told me to read it several years ago.  One of the churches downtown had put on a series, funded by a local college, to educate the public regarding disabilities and other minorities.  Chris and I opted to go to it, and so I sat through his lecture, which was somewhat like this book: a mix of personal stories and information on autism.

I don\’t recall much of what he was specifically talking about, but I do recall that he knew how to amuse a crowd of neurotypical people.  As he talked, he referenced pop culture, making people who got the references feel included, but also explaining in brief for people who didn\’t get the references.  But what most caught my attention was his stories, or more specifically, how he told them.  These were stories of his life, which, like mine, was mostly not sunshine and sleepy puppies. I found myself saddened by the hardships he had endured.  After about 10 minutes of listening, I realized that people were laughing.  Including Chris, at my side, at least until he saw my face.

Being out of sync with the crowd isn\’t all that unusual for me, of course.  By nature, I\’m a stranger in a strange land.  But I couldn\’t figure out why people would be laughing at all these sad stories, until I listened to more than just the words.  Mr. Robison, by use of gestures, expressions, and even word choice, was making the suffering of his life funny to relate.  There was nothing wrong with the crowd.  They were reacting precisely as he wished, laughing at the stories he was making funny to them. 

The other thing I remember, related to this book, was when I pestered him afterwards, asking what a freshly-diagnosed young adult was supposed to do.  He replied with the theme of this book, and honestly, a theme of his life: make your strengths into your work.

So this book is more or less his answer to that question, as well as thoughts, opinions, explanations, etc, of his life.  It took me until the very back of the book, where the autism diagnosis and criteria are discussed, to realize that the book itself must have been organized around those things.  The final section, which contains the DSM criteria, contains plainspeak (read: not medical jargon) explanations of what the criteria mean.  It also contains an index to \”Aspergian\” behaviors, each of which is neatly matched up to a chapter or section of a chapter.  I expect that bit would be quite helpful to someone trying to get a handle on what precisely autism is, and how it looks in people.

It\’s worth noting, I suppose, that I do not agree with Mr. Robison on a number of minor points.  He prefers the words \”Aspergian\” for autistic people, and \”nypicals\” for neurotypical people.  I will not be adopting the word Aspergian unless I move to a city, country, or other area named Aspergia.  And the word \”nypicals\” just makes me think about cuticles, which cause me much annoyance since I\’m not careful with my hands and they tend to get ragged. 

More importantly, while it\’s (somewhat) easier to take a hyperfocused autistic person\’s Special Interest (ie: obsessive focus, like trains, cars, electronics, etc) and work it into a job, there are some of us on the spectrum that do not have a single obsessive interest.  As such, the advice \”take your strengths and make them into a job!\” is just another career counselor tidbit for me.  Maybe useful, but not the only advice you\’ll ever need.

I have multiple interests.  I\’m presently learning how to balance them, and my responsibilities, and my social life, such that nobody gets upset with me for ignoring them, but I still get things done and still have time for fun.  (Also, I\’m trying to learn what fun is.  Maybe I\’ll do an entry on that later.)  I do not have a single interest that I would be happy doing for ten years, or even five, I think. 

Read This Book If

The title of this manual is a little deceiving.  While it does spend time on what I would term \”safety skills,\” like preparedness, using the buddy system, using caution when dealing with other people and unfamiliar settings, etc… The book also focuses on the author\’s life, mistakes, and autistic girls and women in general.  A better title might be, \”An Asperger Woman\’s Guide to Life.\” 

The first couple chapters of this book made me sad.  The author has had a lot of bad experiences, lacking the social intuition everyone takes for granted.  And she seems to have started out particularly naive, which meant she got taken advantage of a lot.  I read her anecdotes, and while I was emotionally wincing in sympathy, I was also wincing over my similar mistakes.  Whereas she seems to have perked up and worked past her various bad experiences, the experience of being abused and excluded made me stop trusting people and start looking for ulterior motives in everything.  It\’s not that I had decided everyone was bad, it\’s that I\’d learned I couldn\’t expect people to treat me like a fellow human being unless they had reason to.

I put my brain to work, as I grew.  I\’m still more reactive than I am proactive, but given a situation, I can usually extrapolate the surface motivations of the people around me.  Not in great detail, and certainly not in depth.  But enough to avoid stepping on toes, generally.  The foreword, written by Tony Attwood, talks about similar strategies to mine, which have been adopted by other autistic women.  It requires a certain flexibility of thought, which is difficult, but still doable.

The third chapter deals with flexibility and rigidity of thought, in the context of loss.  The author was 50 when she wrote this book, and so had seen more loss than I have yet.  I have yet, for instance to lose either of my parents.  I have, however, suffered sufficient losses in life to find the author\’s commentary on it useful.

Further into the book, we deal with anxiety and stress.  Or, as she calls it, \”How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Day.\”  I almost smiled at that, as I\’ve had a lot of perfectly good days ruined.  Most of them I\’d think, because dysthymia and generalized anxiety disorder have no friends.  Willey describes getting stuck in bad memories, which is definitely a thing that happens, but what I didn\’t see noted was how depression can make bad memories just… spontaneously come to mind.  I don\’t know if there\’s a word for that, but if it happens with the right (wrong) memories, or happens often, it definitely kills your mood.  Y\’know, in addition to the depression already being difficult. 

The book, as mentioned, contains various safety tips, suggestions for a better life, and specific guidelines.  I found some of the suggestions a little unnecessary, but… my experience as an Aspie woman is perhaps unusual.  My body and frame are large.  My father\’s side of the family gifted me with large bones and broad shoulders.  Between that and my body language screaming \”go away,\” I haven\’t had that many problems with unwanted attention.  So things like bringing an inflatable \”friend\” in your car, ready to be inflated for if you feel unsafe driving alone somewhere, seem unnecessary to me.

That said, it is absolutely the case that developmentally disabled people, women especially, are very very likely to be abused in one manner or another over the course of their lives, so tips like these may be the difference between having a regular night and having an awful, life-changing-for-the-worse night.

Speaking of personal experiences and generalizing from them… this author, like a lot of autistic authors I\’ve read, makes broad and sweeping assumptions about the autistic population based on her experience.  Like any population, some assumptions match the population, some don\’t.  Rather like asking a black person their experiences and taking those assumptions to every black person you meet.  When reading this book, and other personal experience books (and indeed, this very blog, though I try not to make too many assumptions about others on the spectrum), keep in mind that one person\’s experience is just that: one person\’s experience.  While they have relevant and valid experiences and viewpoints, what they say is not always the truth for every person on the autism spectrum.

Read This Book If

\”Guidebook\” is probably the right word here.  I don\’t think this book summarizes the entire of what autistic people need to know about communicating, but it takes a good shot at it.  I found myself, unfortunately, rather annoyed and depressed while reading this book, with the occasional side thought of, \”I already learned this, but geez, neurotypical people are so needy and particular about things!\”  Somewhat uncharitable of me, I think.  It\’s not particularly any person\’s fault that the system espoused herein is the accepted system of communication, and we on the autism spectrum are left guessing and puzzling out what\’s right. 

It\’s just, I guess, that the book emphasizes that everyone is still learning social skills, including your parents, friends, teachers, etc.  So, hey everyone, that\’s hilariously inefficient if my parents (now over 50 years old, both of them) are still learning social skills.  It\’s like you all invented a secret code and promptly lost half your guide to translating it.  Can we please invent a system that\’s logical and predictable and use that instead of what we have currently?  It\’d be way easier on everyone. 

Yeah, not going to happen, I know.  But a person can dream. 

There was nothing in this book I particularly disagreed with.  It did say the necessity of the communication was rooted in peoples\’ desires to feel connected, and like people care about them.  That threw me for a bit.  I guess I\’d not heard it expressed that way before.  And in truth, that particular thought from the authors is part of what fueled the \”needy\” comment from earlier.  But again, I don\’t think that\’s overly fair.  Humans are, at our base, a social species.  It\’s not in our makeup to be at ease with people we don\’t understand and have nothing in common with.  So trying, albeit confusingly, to make those connections is, I guess, slightly admirable? 

Something that sets this book apart from others like it that I\’ve seen is the section of social media.  I think perhaps some of the references were dated, even at the time of publishing (2011 for my copy), and I\’m… not sure how often some of the listed acronyms (like LOL, GTG, but less common) were used.  But I was entering college, not middle school, when the book was published, and I think it\’s important to realize that culture doesn\’t stop when you graduate, it continues right on without you until you look back in 20 years and realize you\’re horribly out of touch.  Or in my case, when you look back in 5 years and go, \”Huh, so dubstep is a thing now?  Okay…  Guess that didn\’t take long…\” 

So it\’s quite possible that the acronyms listed in the book were in common use at the time.  One would, I suppose, have to ask someone more of that time period. 

Anyway, the premise of the book is to teach what they call social thinking, or thinking about other people during and not during social time.  The idea is to develop your sense of empathy and your concepts of other people, so that you can make sure they don\’t think uncomfortable or weird thoughts about you, and eventually decide they don\’t want to be near you.  They do also emphasize that connectedness and having friendships and social skills is highly important, because it impacts all areas of life except \”cave\” living.  Or in my case, hiding in your apartment playing computer games all day.  Ahem.  Guilty sometimes. 

Overall, I found the book somewhat helpful as a refresher, but it\’s definitely written for a younger crowd than me.  Which, erk, makes me wonder if I don\’t count as a young adult anymore.  I\’m not 30 yet!  Just, um, almost.  Erk. 

Read This Book If:

Wow, this book was a headful and a half.  I first read this book of essays shortly after I\’d gotten my diagnosis.  I don\’t recall having nearly so much trouble understanding it and digesting the contents.  Hopefully that\’s not a sign of atrophying brain cells… 

My knowledge of psychology says no.  I suspect the problem is more that Dr. Grandin writes like the scientist she is; that is, densely, with lots of references. The book is not riddled with scientific citations on every page, but she makes numerous and varied references to others\’ work, including a lot of people I\’ve not yet read.  Lacking that breadth of knowledge, I think I found myself a little bewildered. 

Meanwhile, Past Me, reading this book, also didn\’t have that knowledge but was presently in college, meaning I had to read lots of textbooks and articles in a similar style of writing.  I probably didn\’t pick up the entire gist of the book that time either, but I don\’t recall it leaving me bewildered so much as full of new information and ideas.  

Either way, then, as now, Temple Grandin\’s titular style of thinking (pictures) is not my style of thinking.  I read through that particular essay with interest, but with the knowledge that sadly none of the descriptions of the thought process would help me.  My thoughts are not solely in pictures or videos, as Temple Grandin\’s are, but in music and flavors and emotions and… something else that I can\’t quantify.  I do have some capacity of visual thinking, but the main of my thought processes aren\’t visual. 

Dr. Grandin and I do share a strong appreciation for animals, and a desire for their wellbeing.  Several of her essays talked about her work improving slaughterhouses and other animal processing areas, to make them more humane and more efficient simultaneously.  She\’s been enormously successful, and I\’m duly impressed.  She\’s leveraged her autism and visual thinking into seeing how animals think and feel.  I don\’t have quite the connection to animals that she does.  But the little meat I do eat, I buy with a certification on it that tells me the animals were cared for, fed properly, had lots of open space, and generally were allowed to have lives before they came to my plate.  Such meat and animal products tend to be quite expensive, unfortunately.

One of the essays in the book focuses on the autism spectrum, so to speak.  Dr. Grandin, having defined a \”autism continuum\” years before the DSM 5 came out, chose to define her spectrum on the amount of sensory complications a person has.  For example, a person whose brain scrambles incoming sound may have normal intelligence, but may never learn to speak due to the inability to hear the words and sounds.  Dr. Grandin would put that person on the \”more disabled\” end of the spectrum, and someone autistic without much sensory complications at the other end. 

The DSM 5, instead, chooses to define autism based on how well the person blends in with neurotypical society, with people on the low end being \”low functioning\” and on the other end, \”high functioning.\”  I find those terms rather insulting, as they\’re essentially saying, \”oh, you\’re not very human\” and \”oh, you\’re almost human.\” 

I much prefer Dr. Grandin\’s continuum, though it, too, has problems.  Autism is not, to my knowledge, defined by having sensory problems.  And there are certainly lots of autistic people without sensory oddities but who still definitely struggle with societal niceties. I tend to use the words \”blends poorly\” or \”well-blended\” in reference to how well a person blends in with neurotypical society, when I\’m thinking.  Those words conform to the DSM 5\’s viewpoint, not Dr. Grandin\’s. 

Speaking of the DSM 5… autism is defined as a disorder, and as such, a bad thing.  I noted, with some sadness, that this book carries that same viewpoint.  Dr. Grandin has of course used her autism to great effect, and shows no issues with saying so and giving examples.  But underneath all that, and despite her comments on genetic variances and the value of diversity, I still saw the tendency to call everything abnormal and problematic \”autism.\” 

I see that mentality in parents, in professionals, in books, and in people on the spectrum… but I don\’t think it\’s right.  I think a number of disorders and difficulties often come with the autism, but I don\’t think autism includes the many and varied digestive issues, sensory issues, seizures, anxiety, depression, headaches…  Given that not all people on the autism spectrum suffer the same issues, I\’d tend to say that those issues are separate.  But mine is the minority view. 

In any case, Dr. Grandin has varied and many pieces of advice and commentary to offer on being autistic.  Topics include special interests, medication, dating, faith, and emotions.  While I don\’t have a whole lot in common with her particular way of thinking about things and doing things, I highly recommend reading all of this book, just to broaden your understanding. 

Read This Book If:

Anyway!  Meet \”How to Be Yourself in a World That\’s Different: An Asperger Syndrome Study Guide for Adolescents,\” by Yuko Yoshida.  Note the Japanese name.  This book was translated from Japanese.  It strikes me as unusual, but highly welcome, to see a book like this come out of Japan, one of the most homogeneous societies in the world.  Autism is not very positively regarded in the US, and the US is relatively individualistic.  I can only imagine the pressure autistic people in Japan must live with…  But here\’s this book, telling everyone it\’s okay to be different. 

This is about the most positive take on autism I\’ve ever seen in my life, and that includes every cloyingly sweet and over-positive Made-For-TV-Movie-ready parent support books.  This, thankfully, is not cloyingly sweet or over-positive.  It is cognizant of the challenges inherent in the lives of autistic people, but insists that the vast majority of what we\’re told are weaknesses are actually strengths, when used appropriately.  It follows up this viewpoint with actual examples along with its positivity.  Many books, particularly ones for parents, like to go on about how special autistic people are, but there\’s nothing behind the positivity.  They go right back to talking about weaknesses and flaws and lacks in that autistic person the instant they\’re done talking about how great we are.  It makes a person feel a mite jaded. 

The book is organized into two sections: Information (defining what autism is) and Advice (how to use what you have).  At the time of publication in 2007, much less was known about autism than we know now, so the book mainly focuses on behaviors, brain differences, and how these things manifest in thought processes and actions.  That said, for all that the book\’s understanding is outdated, it\’s not particularly inaccurate.  So if you find this book to read it yourself, don\’t skip this section.  I didn\’t personally see myself in every descriptor on these pages, but some of them absolutely applied.

The advice section is the larger part of the book, and contains neatly organized advice for getting through life.  These include strategies for people that tend to think literally, as well as explanations about a couple oddities of politeness (like why you have to apologize when you\’ve bumped someone accidentally- it\’s not like you meant to).  It also includes advice on the perennial problem of how much and when to talk about your hobbies and interests.

In truth, I think this book, barely over 100 pages, could easily have been five times the length and still not been a complete guide to thriving autistically in a neurotypical world.  It makes an excellent stab at the generalities and a few specifics in a very short time, and doesn\’t pretend to have all the answers.  Instead, it encourages you to think of them yourself using the guidelines and advice it provides. 

Read This Book If: