Legwork and Life, week of 10/2/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

\”Recovering\” is the word for this week.

The DC trip for the Autism Research Program went pretty well.  As in the last couple years, there were a few familiar faces as well as plenty of new ones.  I\’ll post about the program in more detail in an upcoming Friday post, along with the press release and such.  

The worst part of the trip was the travel, both to and from.  One of my flights home got canceled, in fact, due to nasty thunderstorms.  About the time I found this out, I also misplaced my driver\’s license, which nearly led to my having a meltdown in the airport.  Fortunately I was able to move myself off to a corner and upend my suitcase until I found it.  Thereafter an airline personnel was able to find me a later set of flights, which got me home about six hours later than I should\’ve gotten home, but at least I did get home.  

Of course, as soon as I got home, my period started.  So I then spent the next couple days miserable, pained, and exhausted.  My brain has flatly refused to work for almost the entire week so far.  I\’m really hoping this is temporary, because there\’s a lot of things I should be doing and haven\’t been able to.  It\’s kind of messing with me and making me feel like a failure.  

The histamine situation doesn\’t have a clear solution.  I\’m going to try adding extra vitamin C to my diet.  I guess there\’s a certain threshold you can normally add before you get unfortunate side effects, and we don\’t know what mine is right now.  It\’s possible that I\’m not at my vitamin C threshold, and adding more will help my body process all those histamines it\’s generating, which then make my attempts to exercise miserable.  

It\’s also possible that I\’ll need to try a DAO supplement, which is basically the substance your body is supposed to produce to prune down histamines on its own… but some people simply don\’t produce enough of it, so the histamines build up.  So that might be my problem also.  We simply don\’t have enough information.  

The vitamin C is the cheapest option, so I\’m starting with that and praying it works out.  

Legwork and Life, week of 9/25/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

Today finds me in Reston, VA, quite near Washington DC. I spent a good period of time yesterday panicking or at least semi-panicking for the travel portion of this trip.  I\’d mainly packed for the trip the day before, but some things had to be left for the day of, including some chores.  

I also spent too much time that morning beating my face fruitlessly on configuring an older model iPhone that a friend kindly gave me to use as an exercise buddy.  Between the fact that it\’s an older phone and I had an older copy of iTunes, many errors ensued while trying to get it set up.  I didn\’t manage to get it exactly the way I wanted by the time I needed to leave, which I blame entirely on Apple.  Still, it does have most of the music I wanted on it, and fiddling with it has been excellent practice for helping my mother set up her phone in a few weeks.  

Thankfully I\’ll be able to relax for the first part of today.  The orientation for the Autism Research Program (ie: why I\’m in Reston) won\’t begin until early afternoon.  I\’ll be able to eat breakfast at my leisure and try to decompress from airport security.  Dealing with TSA is by far my least favorite part of traveling.  Apparently they won\’t be accepting driver\’s licenses as valid IDs soon, so I\’ll have to go get whatever they consider \”Real ID.\”  Like a driver\’s license or state-issued ID is somehow fake ID.  Honestly.  I have half a mind to apply for a new passport and tell TSA that if they have a problem with my identity, they can take it up with the US government.  

Anyway, at least I\’m prepared for this trip.  I got all of my assignments done, first and second rounds of reviews.  I\’m extremely pleased to see that the two applications I wasn\’t impressed by also didn\’t really impress the other reviewers.  There\’s some dissension around the issues, but not a ton.  The one whose idea I hated actually got such poor reviews that I\’m not sure we\’ll even bother discussing it.  Which is just fine by me, because it means less talky-time.  

I\’m anxious about this trip, but not super anxious.  I\’ve done this before a few times, and while I\’m probably a bit more wound up this time than I have been in the past, I can still probably handle it.  The staff of the program seem to like me, and I haven\’t been too much of an ass since the first year.  So I don\’t know.  It\’ll probably go well.

Not going as well: my new supplement.  Apparently the extra side effects I\’ve been experiencing, the bumpy skin, weird metabolism, and gurgly guts, aren\’t normal.  My doctor thinks I tolerate herbal type supplements poorly, based on this and my previous experiment with the Feminessence, where I broke out a rash, a vicious headache, mood swings, etc.  

I\’m not really sure what to do with this information. I know my system is sensitive.  But at least in the case of the histamines, I really need something to handle the problem. I may see about lessening the dose, and see if I still have good effects with the exercise. I really don\’t want to lose this progress, because I\’ve been able to go jogging twice now. It was really tiring, but not miserable.   I\’m continuing to lose weight (1-2 pounds a week, which is the maximum healthy weight loss rate).  It\’s the first real progress I\’ve seen on that front in literal years.  I don\’t want to give it up. 

We\’ll see what my doctor says when I see her next…

Legwork and Life, week of 9/18/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

Anxiety is probably the word for this week.  I\’m scrambling to meet various deadlines.  It is not enjoyable.  I\’m good on this blog at least \’til the end of the week, but no decent research articles have presented themselves for next Monday.  That\’s… worrisome.  Either something will turn up on my RSS feeds, or I\’ll have to go looking specifically for something… or I\’ll miss a day.  And I haven\’t missed a day since I established a schedule.  That\’s something like 2-3 years.  It\’d be upsetting to me if I missed a day.

Friday also marks when the next round of reviews for the research applications go live… and I\’ll only have a couple days to manage that before I\’m off to DC.  Whereupon I\’ll be expected to socialize heavily in between long stretches of socializing.  I really need a buffer to handle the burnout I\’m likely to suffer, but I don\’t have one.  Ugh.  

Also on Friday, I need to be done with that fiction review.  My first draft came back with some potentially major requested revisions.  I kind of feel like I\’m in school again.  I\’m not used to such serious, in-depth critiques of my writing any more.  While I know in my head that every author, no matter how successful, could probably improve their writing somehow (and I am hardly a highly successful writer), it\’s still a bit of a shock to receive feedback that might well involve rewriting a sizable chunk of the review.  

I\’m in the phase of \”highly stressed and anxious\” where everything is just going haphazardly and I avoid all my stressors as much as I can, then latch onto anything solid that seems like work I can handle.  I had one of these situations in my freshman year of college, and I handled it by putting up a whiteboard with all my projects and their due dates.  Then I broke those projects into doable chunks, prioritized them, and did them one tiny chunk at a time.  My current projects don\’t seem so \”break-into-chunks\”-able.  

I\’d say \”this too shall pass\” to comfort myself, but it really feels, at the moment, that when \”this too\” passes, I\’m going to not have done my best and disappointed myself and others as a bonus.  And I still have October, Month of All Birthdays, to look forward to (/sarcasm)!  

Other news: the new supplement (Hista-Eze) I mentioned last Friday seems to have some extra effects.  My skin has been getting bumpy and scratchable at random spots, which is a phenomenon I used to have a lot more often.  It\’s why my arms are sheets of tiny scars.  It started with my forehead, though, which is odd.  Also, I seem extra gassy, so it\’s perhaps doing something to my gut flora as well.  Finally, I seem… extra hungry, I guess?  I had a perfectly acceptable breakfast and lunch today, but it\’s only been a couple hours and I\’m hungry again.  So possibly my metabolism has been affected.  

I seem to have lost a small amount of weight (yay!) as well, though that could be simply the extra exercise I worked into last week\’s schedule.  I\’m planning to try to add jogging into my schedule as a regular thing… or I\’m going to try, at least.  It\’s really good exercise, and if only my muscles make me miserable while I do it, that\’s way more tolerable.  Especially if it\’s a nice day and I can get some sun.  

Weird and myriad side effects aside, I haven\’t taken any anti-histamines or vitamin C since starting the Hista-Eze.  I have yet to try jogging or intensive biking again, but I did 30 minutes on a higher difficulty than usual for my cardio on Monday without ill effects.  Well, other than demonstrating that I inherited my Dad\’s ability to sweat copiously from the scalp and forehead.  

This makes me wonder two things.  First, perhaps I needn\’t take extra vitamin C when I go exercising.  I\’ll try jogging without vitamin C or antihistamines today, if I feel up to it, and see how it compares to last week.  Second, perhaps the dosage of the Hista-Eze supplement is too high, if I\’m experiencing all these weird side effects.  Or I could just be allergic to something in the supplement.  

I\’m really hoping that\’s not it, though; it does seem to be doing its job, these side effects aside…

Legwork and Life, week of 9/11/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

Whew… September is busy.  I managed all my preliminary reviews for the government work, but in about a week, I\’m going to have to go over those reviews again and rewrite and reconsider them.  In the meantime, I\’ve been asked to read a fiction book and review it… which… you would think wouldn\’t be so different than what I already do for this blog.

But there\’s actually a major difference between reviewing a book for factual accuracy and reviewing a book for entertainment purposes.  In a factual book, you evaluate the facts first, and the presentation of the facts second.  In a fiction book, you evaluate the story and the believability of the world and the characters.  The former is more objective, the latter more subjective.  

I feel… a bit out of my depth, to be honest.  I shouldn\’t; I did the latter kind of work in school on a regular basis.  I guess anything subjective is… subjective.  I like solid, yes-or-no questions better than I like \”the main character was highly believable, but personally I think if the world changed in X way, you wouldn\’t see people in general doing Y.\”  Or… something.  I don\’t know, maybe I\’m even rustier than I thought.  Maybe I can do research on how one writes a book review on fiction books…  

Happier news:  I had a great breakthrough regarding the histamine issue!  I\’ll detail it this Friday, so look forward to that.  I\’m really excited.  

Also happy news, this happened:


This is fancy ramen.  A friend of mine had some unexpected life complications and ran a bit short on money, so I hired them to make me… well, basically a meal kit of fancy ramen.  They found and prepared a lot of fresh veggies, including turnips, shiitake mushrooms, scallions, and bamboo shoots.  They marinated the soft boiled egg in seasonings.  They even toasted and seasoned bok choy leaves for a crispy topper.  Also, and perhaps most importantly, they made bone broth.  Like, the kind you have to boil for like 48 hours straight with tons of seasonings and spices.  

I\’ve never had bone broth, and didn\’t really ever think I would, because I\’m picky about my animal products, and very few restaurants care about serving humane products.  I provided my friend with humane meaty bones from a local farm, and they added some veggies and other seasonings to make this broth.  The end result was highly delicious, and there\’s plenty left even after serving myself and my spouse.  

There\’s so much broth left that I think even after the other ingredients are gone, I\’ll be able to make broth cubes and throw them into all sorts of recipes.  My mother did this, too.  You pour the broth into an ice cube tray, making frozen cubes of broth.  These store easily and can be thawed out whenever you need some flavor.  Even a single one of these cubes could seriously spice up pretty much any dish.  

Basically, my friend did an amazing job and the results will brighten my meals for a good while.  

Legwork and Life, week of 9/4/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

I had a weird occurrence this last week.  Usually my mood weather is mostly cloudy (lightly depressed), with occasional forays into cloudy (depressed) with thunderstorms (angry and depressed).  Sometimes I have a better day and have partly cloudy weather (neutral mood).

This week, I had a moment of emotional overwhelm… which would normally be bad… but it wasn\’t bad.  It was just overwhelming, so I started leaking tears, but I wasn\’t angry or sad.  I was sitting outside in the sunshine, on a nice day, with blue sky and puffy clouds.  I mentally puzzled over it for a while, and decided that I was apparently experiencing joy.  It was quite odd, because there was no actual pleasure or happy sensation, just the overwhelm.  And the timing was extremely peculiar, because it was the first day of my period at the time, which usually makes me more miserable than usual.

My mental math was informed by a pair of Invisibilia episodes on emotions, which told me that apparently the sum total of human emotion can be plotted on two linear spectrums: wound up-calm, and pleasant-unpleasant.  I ruled out the experience being unpleasant because the situation was pleasant, even if the overwhelm feeling wasn\’t really pleasant.  Obviously the feeling was off the charts on the \”wound up\” side of things.  In lieu of any other data, I picked \”joy\” because it was the most powerful \”pleasant\” feeling I could think of, and one that appropriately does sometimes move people to tears.

As is my tendency when odd things happen, I tried to pick apart the experience.  Sunshine on my skin in small doses is a pleasant sensation; it\’s why I was outside in the first place.  Perhaps the vitamin D was particularly essential?  Or the remnants of the maca root managed to rebalance my hormones for a short time.  Why didn\’t I feel the joy properly?  Perhaps my brain is improperly wired for such positive experiences, after two decades or so of depression?  Or perhaps the painkillers had some effect- positive or negative.  The type I was on, a Midol-knockoff specifically for period pain, contain antihistamines.

When I mentioned this to my doctor/therapist, she noted that it can be very easy for anxiety- and depression-prone people to mistake good emotions for bad ones, so she was very pleased I\’d noted the difference here.  An easy example is excitement and anxiety.  Excitement is being wound up over something good, looking forward to it.  Anxiety is being wound up over something bad, dreading it.  If you\’re very accustomed to feeling anxiety, it can be easy to mistake excitement related to say, your upcoming graduation, or birthday, for anxiety.

She suggested this phenomenon might be more common in my life than I think.  I\’m actually kind of dubious, since I did recognize the weirdness of the pseudo-joy, and in general feel like I have a good handle on my emotions.  But it won\’t hurt me to keep an eye out.  

Legwork and Life, week of 8/28/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

My bicycle works!  While the good weather lasts, I\’m going to try to bike instead of drive for short trips, like when I take library books back, or when visiting my parents.  This has actually come up time and time again in my research queues as a major life improvement.  I don\’t have a whole lot of places I normally go within biking distance, but on the other hand, even a little bit helps.

I picked up a cargo rack, so I could also do small amounts of grocery shopping at the local \”fresh produce, flowers, specialty foods, and etc\” store.  Even without the rack, I can still make the trip, but I\’m limited to whatever I can carry on my back.  It also has the distinct danger of getting squished, which, if it\’s fresh fruit, really isn\’t optimal.  Having a container bungie-corded to a cargo rack would potentially solve that problem, especially if the container was padded.  

At any rate, I dosed myself up with vitamin C and biked off to my parents\’ a couple days ago.  I\’m not sure I let it absorb long enough before doing the trip, to be honest.  I think it was only like 5-10 minutes before I started off, and I got pretty huffy, grumpy, and red in the face.  I think next time I should give it an hour, which was what my doctor suggested in the first place…

The whole high-histamine theory seems so probable and so promising for my exercise woes, to be honest.  I really want to give it the best possible shot, to see if it\’s right.  The trip not seeming any different was a little bit of a setback to me, but admittedly, I hadn\’t eaten, and I likely hadn\’t given the vitamin C long enough to absorb in…  So I\’m not going to give up on it yet.  I do wish I had clearer evidence.  Anyone would, I think.  I hate all this guesswork and trying things one at a time and hoping for clear results.  

Speaking of adverse reactions, the maca root rash still hasn\’t entirely gone away, so that\’s on hold until I feel like I\’ve detoxified as much as I\’m going to manage.  My period is definitely on the way, and I have no idea if the 10ish days I took the maca are going to affect it.  I\’m hoping yes, in a positive way, but with my luck, it\’ll be probably be \”yes, very negatively.\”  

Nothing terribly exciting on the government grant review end of things yet.  They\’re still mostly doing preliminary setup, registration, and assignments.  I have my assignments, but haven\’t looked at them because I\’m afraid to find out whether one particular dud of an application is on there.  The jury is out on whether it\’d be a good thing if it was, so I could give it the chewing out it deserves, or a bad thing because the application irritates me so much.  

Sadly the applications aren\’t the only major irritants in my life at the moment.  I\’m reading a particular book in hopes of reviewing it for this blog.  It\’s starting to look like a book I can\’t honestly recommend to anyone, but I might still review it just to point out how glaringly wrong it is.  

In the meantime, I\’m re-learning the value of taking things in small pieces, so I don\’t have a fury-induced meltdown.  It should be a good and valuable post, assuming I can avoid said meltdown and also maybe being too vicious about my criticism.  

Legwork and Life, week of 8/21/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

The itching has thankfully subsided.  This is, naturally, because my doctor told me to stop taking the maca root.  I\’m a little frustrated that the rash site doesn\’t seem to have returned to normal, but perhaps the supplement isn\’t quite flushed out of my system yet.  Either way, I\’m going to give it a bit longer and then try it again, at a very low dose.  Chances are, the same result will ensue.  But on the off-chance it doesn\’t, I\’m going to try, because I\’d really like this to work.

We did finally get the bed moved away from the wall with the smart electricity meter.  I seem to be sleeping better!  We\’re not actually clear whether that\’s because the bed is now facing away from the curtained window, or because the electrical meter actually is a garbage machine that disrupts sleep… but either way, I\’m really pleased.  I\’m not as tired in the morning, and when I am tired, so far it\’s because I deserved it for staying up late.  

This change of bed location is in addition to keeping the wifi turned off at night, and having our phones/tablets/etc. in airplane mode at night, with wifi and cell phone data turned off.  I\’m honestly considering just paying for more data per month and ditching the wifi router entirely… but again, that\’s a major change, and would need to be made with my spouse.  

I also managed to get myself and my bike to a different repair shop.  This one didn\’t try to sell me a new part… the repairman actually just fiddled with a few things (tension in my brakes and the gears, or something) and the gears stopped slipping.  So as far as I\’m concerned, they\’re magic now.  They kept the bike a couple days to try to fix the barking sound it was making when it was pedaled, and they did manage that as well.  So now I have a working bike and just need to have a non-rainy morning or afternoon. 

In the meantime I\’ve been noticing I get red in the face and such at relatively light exertion, which I feel like has been a thing for me growing up, but maybe not quite to this degree.  I\’m not really eating a lot of high histamine foods, or even all that many histamine liberators… so it really makes me wonder about the algae outside.  The board has been kicking around the idea of simply filling in the pond out back, which would be far cheaper than fixing it ($45k versus $150k, or something like that).  I\’m kind of on the fence about it, to be honest.  The algae is really horrible and bad for me, but I also really like having a pond and seeing the great blue heron and the ducks.  If the pond goes, so do they.  

Anyway, I\’ll be able to try the bike trials with and without the vitamin C as soon as I get a nice few hours.  It\’s been rainy and thunderstormy recently, so I haven\’t gotten my bike out yet.  Soon, hopefully!

Last news: it looks like I\’m being called on again to review research proposals for the federal government.  I\’m really happy it\’s not falling around Thanksgiving or Christmas this year.  It should be next month, which makes these next 30 days or so Crunch Time.  Lots of deadlines, lots of hurry-up-and-get-it-done.  I was just starting to manage getting a buffer together, too…  But this is also important, so I guess I\’ll do the best I can on both fronts and hope I don\’t drown in work.  Wish me luck!

Legwork and Life, week of 8/14/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

This week, I am viciously itchy.  I seem to have developed a skin rash due to my new maca root supplement, which… it\’s in the list of possible side effects, but I\’m very displeased all the same.  There\’s probably a person out there that enjoys being itchy, but that person is definitely not me.  I\’ve banned myself from itching with my fingernails, but I can\’t help but itch, so I\’m using my knuckles.  Life is about making compromises you can mostly live with, right?

I\’ll be seeing my doctor tomorrow, so she\’ll probably get an earful on the subject.  I\’m still really hoping there\’s some way to make this work that doesn\’t involve spending even more money or returning the product…  I\’ve already halved the dosage twice over the course of the week, which you\’d think would be enough… but likely I simply don\’t know enough about chemical interactions.  Which is what my doctor is for!

Anyway, I\’m making the best of the situation.  Hydrocortisone cream seems to help with the itching somewhat, but it\’s not a permanent solution by any stretch.  And honestly, the whole red and white speckled itchy skin isn\’t really a good look for me.  Or anyone.  So hopefully the situation can be resolved fairly quickly and easily.  

In the meantime, I seem to be sleeping a little better.  Still haven\’t gotten the bed moved, though.  I\’m going to blame family hubbub and such for that.  We missed one set of aunt and uncle due to life things, but caught the other for a few relatively relaxing days.  I say relatively, because being out of my comfort zone isn\’t precisely relaxing.  Still, getting to go kayaking and spending time with them was pleasant, and I even managed to avoid popping the blisters I got from the kayaking.  Thus they healed up exceedingly fast and didn\’t trouble me after the first day.  

I do have further evidence towards the high histamine theory now.  I have, in the past, really enjoyed kayaking.  This time?  I was actually pretty miserable.  The conditions were fantastic: just barely a wind to keep the bugs away, calm water, warm but not too hot.  But once I got out there and put my arms to work… miserable.  It wasn\’t exactly like I was struggling to breathe, but it kind of reminded me of my experience with the cold, where I just… wasn\’t getting enough oxygen, and it affected my mood.  

Adding to this was the sure knowledge that I\’d eaten two relevant foods in good quantities: spinach (high histamine) and tomatoes (either high histamine or histamine liberator, depending on which source you ask).  So that was valuable to note.  The plan now is to get my bike fixed (it\’s slipping gears and basically unusable), and then try biking more vigorously and steadily than usual.  Then I\’ll do that again with a big dose of vitamin C powder-infused water, and compare the two experiences.  

This plan does rely on me managing to get my bike loaded into my van, driving over to a new bike store, walking in, and demanding they use an aftermarket part to repair my bike, which…  so far hasn\’t gone well.  But I\’m almost getting ahead on this blog, so maybe I can pony up the energy soon.  

Legwork and Life, week of 8/7/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.


My wifi experiments are bearing some fruit.  I can\’t say I feel all that much better rested yet (haven\’t been sleeping enough), but when I shut off the wifi at night, it feels almost like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  This has happened every time I\’ve turned it off for the night, which… I mean, I could be imagining it, that\’s definitely possible… but I feel like if I was going to confirmation-bias-hallucinate something, it\’d be something more akin to \”feeling less brain buzzing\” or something.  

So I don\’t know, it\’s potentially beneficial anyway.  Still trying to decide whether it\’s worth the annoyance of having to have my data plan on while reading in bed.  I like checking my webcomics and reading research articles before going to bed, but that has to be done on the data plan if I don\’t have wifi available.  

Finally, regarding the wifi/dirty electricity experiments, I still haven\’t moved my bed away from the smart electricity meter yet… maybe I can do that this week, with my spouse\’s agreement.  It\’s his house and bed too, after all.  

And because my supplementation regimen isn\’t complicated enough/I still have problems, I\’ve added something new to my lineup.  I\’m biologically female, and therefore suffer periods roughly once a month.  Keyword here is \”suffer.\”  Apparently curling into a miserable ball for a couple days a month is not supposed to happen.  Discomfort is expected, misery is not.  So I\’ve started on a (my) doctor-recommended supplement, which will hopefully, in a month or so, make my periods less misery-inducing.

I don\’t, as a rule, have any particular feelings about my biological sex or anyone else\’s, but at least once a month, I resent my internal organs\’ ability to cripple me for a time.  As I imagine anyone else might resent something if it disabled them with such regularity.  Hormones end up being the issue.  I have unstable, non-clockwork hormones, for some reason.  This supplement will regulate those hormones, but in a way that doesn\’t add any more to my system the way birth control does. 

I\’ve always been kind of leery of hormonal birth control, and as it turns out, that was a good thing.  Apparently hormonal birth control can come with some really \”fun\” side effects, particularly for a system as sensitive as mine.  I\’m very uninterested in massive mood swings, any additional weight gain, soreness, nausea, or any messing around with my libido. 

This supplement isn\’t hormonal, but the herb it\’s mainly made of is apparently involved in supporting the hormonal cycle.  So I guess we\’ll see.  

Histamine Overload Day

The Theory

When I was at my doctor\’s office (my LENS doctor, not my primary care doctor who I rarely see), we were chatting about my health and she suggested, based on my previous complaints, symptoms, and observations about exercise, that I try experimenting with high- and low-histamine foods, as I might have an intolerance or simply be flooded with them.
Essentially, the theory goes that some people may have too high of levels of histamines in their bodies, and this has bad effects on your brain, your immune system, and your digestive tract.  You can tailor your diet to avoid high-histamine foods, which are mainly fermented foods, and thus live a healthier life… but this is only likely to help if you actually do have the intolerance or systemic overload.  
My doctor explained this as kind of like having a low level allergic reaction… except all the time.  So you\’re always dealing with things like congested airways, itching, a skin rash, watery or itchy eyes, etc.  The thing is, it may be so mild you don\’t even notice it, yet still have bad effects on your life.  And in fact, allergies like this can entirely bypass your nose and just affect your brain instead, causing depression, misery, and anxiety.  Now, the reasons she brought this up included the apparently-not-insect-bite-after-all bumps I came back with after one expedition for black raspberries, and my lifelong hatred for exercise.  
The latter doesn\’t immediately make sense.  The thing is, there are two categories of foods you have to watch out for with a histamine issue.  The first is foods with high histamines, of course.  More histamines is bad.  The second category, though, is histamine liberators.  Your body stores histamines, and histamine liberators elbow your body into releasing them, which makes you feel worse.  
Exercise, as it happens, has that exact same liberation effect.  So a person would reasonable hate exercise if it felt like they were dying every time they did it.  Like, say, if their throat closed up, they found it hard to breathe, they itched a lot, and in general they felt terrible.  Which… isn\’t an unreasonable assessment of my feelings on jogging and most other forms of exercise.  
There\’s also the fact that in the summer, I\’m basically marinating in toxic algae spores due to the pond outside, which… I\’d assume would produce histamines, given its deleterious effects on my system if I go outside and breathe for like two minutes.  I also find myself sleeping with my arms over my head, which is notably helpful for opening airways, but does a number on my lower back… so you\’d think I wouldn\’t be doing that on purpose.

Counter-evidence is that I tested negative on a battery of allergy tests at the beginning of the year.  Like, I\’m allergic to nothing they tested.  Literally nothing.  The test included various local plants that often set people off.  I also haven\’t personally noticed regular congestion and such until recently.  It\’s like my cold never truly ended.  I cough a bit here and there these days, and occasionally need to blow my nose.  

There are two informational documents I was sent by my doctor, so here they are: The Healthline Summary and the Topic-Specific Site.  I read them both, or at least skimmed them both, and paid careful attention to the list of foods.  Surprisingly, I don\’t really like most of the high-histamine foods.  So most of them aren\’t in my diet.  I can\’t say the same for the histamine liberators, though.  A good number of those rotate through my diet regularly.  
So there\’s cause to test this theory my doctor has… and I intend to.  Slightly recklessly.

The Plan

I am, as of yet, still fairly young and thus resilient.  I am therefore going to take a single day to present my system with many high-histamine foods and histamine liberators.  The results will either be dramatic and prove the point, or minimal-to-non-existent, and strongly suggest that this is not an issue I have.

I should note my doctor specifically told me not to do this, and instead suggested trying a couple foods here and there, and seeing if I noticed differences.  Which is why I\’m terming this \”slightly reckless.\”  I don\’t think I\’m putting my life on the line, trying this, but I do think I\’m probably setting myself up for an extremely miserable day.

To do this experiment, I read over the foods, and prepared a menu for the day, incorporating enough of them to hopefully give a good test result.  While devising this menu, I made efforts to make the meals healthy, because it\’s already known that eating junk food makes you ill, and eating horrifyingly mismatched foods (like, say, jerky, pickles, and chocolate in the same mouthful) would also complicate the results by making me miserable as I ate them.  
I also had to allow for my particular diet choices, which meant only humane meats.  I know where to get bison jerky, so I can still try the fermented meat option, but things like store salami and most smoked meat products are out.  
With that in mind, the menu is this.
Breakfast: Cup of Greek yogurt with fresh pineapple and strawberry slices mixed in.  Sourdough toast with mixed nut butter on top.  
Lunch: Fancy grilled cheese with tomato soup.  Sourdough bread with aged cheese and shredded bison jerky.  Pickle and a handful of spinach for a side.  Orange for \”dessert.\”
Snack (if desired): chocolate and/or handful of roasted mixed nuts. 
Dinner: Marinated chicken (apple cider vinegar and soy sauce marinade), served over brown rice, with a banana and spinach salad with vinegar dressing for sides.  
Beverages: Green tea, black tea, and possibly a serving of booze at dinner.  
For extra credit, I may try to exercise that day as well, which would help free up any stored histamines I might have.  I haven\’t quite decided on this, because exercise makes me miserable, and I don\’t want to muck up my experiment by biasing it

Now, assuming this theory is correct and I have this problem, the resulting suffering will be misery.  I\’m young enough to try this, but not so reckless that I don\’t have a backup plan for alleviating my misery.  When discussing this theory with my doctor, she mentioned that while testing foods, I might keep vitamin C on hand, as it helps clean histamines out of your system.  So now I have a nice jar of lemon-flavored vitamin C powder, which I will mix into water and consume at regular intervals, should the effects be overwhelming.

I also have various decongestant medicinal products that served me fairly well during my cold a few weeks ago, and I might see about acquiring an anti-histamine as well, which would help curb any impressive acute symptoms.

The Day Of

The day started fairly normally for a summer day: not enough sleep because of the light levels.  Here\’s my ingredients:

Some of these we had at home, but most had to be bought specifically for this experiment.  This isn\’t even all the things, it\’s just what would fit neatly in the picture.

Breakfast commenced.

My yogurt cup didn\’t hold nearly as much fruit as I wanted it to, so I had some on the side.  I decided tea with breakfast was going to happen.  I like tea, but I usually don\’t treat myself to it. So that was nice.

After the first few bites, I had a cough, which left about as fast as it came.  I\’ve had those on and off in the last couple weeks, and still have no real idea what\’s going on.  A more lingering effect, which I didn\’t test because I was focusing on work and other things, was the seeming difficulty breathing.  My work is sedentary, thankfully, so that was not a crippling issue.  But it was very definitely notable.

More interestingly, and more detrimentally for sure, was the brain fog that really shouldn\’t have accompanied such a healthy meal.  It could be the yogurt, which I\’m not really accustomed to eating, and is dairy, after all.  I\’ve had poor effects with dairy.  That would normally be a factor I\’d eliminate for this test, but I had enough trouble coming up with a meal plan without that.

I also felt kind of like my stomach lining was… overwarm.  \”Burning\” implies actual pain, and this wasn\’t a form of pain I recognized.  It was just uncomfortable and a little worrying.  It didn\’t really feel like acid reflux, either.  So that was definitely worth noting.

Lunch was late, because I guess I had too large a breakfast in my enthusiasm for this experiment.

I… still really really do not like pickles.  Like wow, yuck.  I ate all four on the plate, but unless I can foist the rest off on somebody else, I don\’t think I\’m going to eat them.  The rest was basically fine, thankfully.  I ate the banana for lunch instead of dinner because of how ripe it\’d gotten, which was fine.  I was originally going to shred the jerky and put it on the sandwich, but I ran out of time due to needing to run errands.

I did again feel the sort of burn on my stomach lining, which was definitely disconcerting.  I noticed a certain difficulty in breathing again, like I had to work harder for my oxygen.  I may or may not have been imagining that, or letting confirmation bias run away with me.  This experiment couldn\’t be done double-blind as easily as my other experiments.

After lunch, my day\’s pace picked up, which, combined with the brain fog, caused me to forget to take a picture of dinner.  It was the meal as planned, though, vinegar/soy sauce marinated chicken over rice, with balsamic vinegar dressing on spinach, and the orange.

At dinner, I also decided to be a strange person and mix a mug of green tea with a shot of vodka, which wasn\’t as horrifying as you\’d expect.  Actually, I didn\’t really taste the vodka after it had mixed in with the tea and warmed to the correct temperature.  I have no idea if that\’s normal, or just a function of the particular brand of vodka (Grey Goose).

The burn in my stomach lining re-commenced after consuming two types of vinegar (but before consuming the alcohol, which does its own form of stomach-burn sensation).  I felt kind of warm in the face, which was new.  I would also say the brain fog returned, at least to a degree.

I finished off the night without needing to resort to my safety net:

\”BioFizz\” is maybe not the most marketable name I\’ve ever heard, but the product is quality.

Vitamin C is excellent for helping the body filter out histamines, so mixing either of these powders into water and consuming them would have helped flush my system of the mess I\’d forced into it.

The Results

I wasn\’t, I suppose, really expecting to break out in hives or suddenly have my throat close and have to be rushed to the hospital, but I guess I\’d hoped for something a bit more dramatic than \”slight trouble breathing,\” \”kinda burny stomach lining,\” and the ever-debilitating \”brain fog.\”  These were clear and obvious symptoms, but not the type I wa expecting.

I discussed my findings with my doctor.  She mainly told me it was something to be aware of, when considering why I might be feeling poorly.  It\’s clearly not the beginning and end of my health considerations, since I didn\’t end up in the hospital, but the difficulty breathing is suggestive, as are the other effects.

Something of note here is that many of these foods, I wouldn\’t normally eat.  They simply don\’t taste good to me.  Pickles and vinegar in particular come to mind, but in all honesty, I didn\’t really enjoy the jerky either.  There can be a correlation between \”what tastes good to you\” and \”what is good for you.\”

This is obviously not always the case, as per the various cases of autistic children (and sometimes adults) refusing to eat all but a very limited subset of foods.  Sometimes those refusals aren\’t merely based in taste, they\’re based in texture and sensitivities thereof.  I would guess that the \”if it tastes bad, you shouldn\’t eat it\” concept of eating is probably only referring to taste.

A good test during this histamine overload day, which I should have done but was so brain-fogged and tired that I didn\’t, would have been to go biking or power-walking.  The difference in my ability to breathe that day, versus regularly, would have been valuable information.

I\’m not entirely out of luck on that front.  While I probably won\’t redo the high histamine diet, I can attempt the opposite thing: dosing myself up with vitamin C, and then exercising at a moderate intensity.  If the experience isn\’t horrifying, that\’s all I\’ll need to know.  Perhaps I could even try jogging again.  Being able to tolerate high-intensity exercise would make it possible for me to burn calories easier, which would go a long way toward checking the slowing metabolism/rising weight effect of middle age.  Exercise also burns energy I tend to use being anxious, so it might also do wonders for my mental state, too.

In the end, it seems that high histamine levels are a factor in my life, but not an all important one. Fixing my histamine intake would most likely have positive effects, but is unlikely to solve all my health problems the way I\’d like it to.  I\’ll make note of any future testing I do on the subject, particularly the exercise/vitamin C test.

Edit (9/2/19): Histamines are definitely the bane of my exercise.  While apparently overdosing on histamines didn\’t really change my day-to-day experience, taking an anti-histamine and then exercising as hard as I could?  Yielded no misery at all, just hard work.  It was extremely weird to have those two sensations divorced from each other.  Exercise has always been a miserable experience for me in the past.  I\’m going to write an exercise-related post update for this.  As it happens, I know of a researcher that might well be interested…

Edit 2 (9/12/19): Yyyep, it\’s the histamines.  I tested my archnemesis of exercise, jogging, with an anti-histamine on a muggy swelteringly hot day.  I got very tired and my muscles screamed for mercy, but I did not get miserable.  I wrote another post about the exercise experience, which is here!