Legwork and Life, week of 7/31/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

I\’m tired this week.  Between the bright summer morning light and my spouse getting up in the morning, I can\’t seem to sleep in at all.  In addition, I abused my system a bit yesterday in service of science and improved knowledge, which I\’ll explain in detail on Friday.  I haven\’t had to go to the hospital, but the experience definitely took a toll.  I\’m now trying to recover from it.  With luck, it won\’t take the rest of the week.  

I\’m going to start getting more serious about the wifi restriction stuff I mentioned wanting to try last week.  Starting with turning the wifi off at night.  I miss being able to sleep in, and while the summer light levels probably mean that\’s an impossibility, I\’d like to exhaust my options.  

It\’s been kind of a busy week.  There was a work party at Chris\’ workplace, which we attended.  We didn\’t stay long, because it was supposed to be a family-friendly thing, and we don\’t have kids and also don\’t know many people at the company.  But it was free food, at least.

We also had two sets of friends visit the house, which was fun but also draining when you\’re already low on energy.  The first was a dinner and game night combo, the second a dessert and movie night.  Good times were had.  Another friend will come by tomorrow.  This is all good for my social life, but bad for my energy levels and attempts to get work done on this blog.

Lastly, still another friend got into a car accident, which totaled her poor car and gave her and her wife some ouchy bruises (though thankfully no other injuries, apparently).  She\’s having kind of a bad time right now, so I\’m helping out by serving as transportation to work, and occasionally errands.  Considering I have the luxury of my own car, this is a service that\’s easier for me to offer than it could be.  It does take time, which I\’m making the best of with podcasts.

I\’d been neglecting my podcasts for the last month or so.  I can\’t listen to them while I\’m trying to work, because I need my words-processing capability for formulating ideas and turning them into words.  It\’s a shame, because I missed listening to my various folklore, history, news, and comedy podcasts.  Possibly, I should simply set aside some time each week to simply do that, rather than expecting opportunities to pop up.  In the meantime, though, I get to listen to a podcast, then spend time with my friend for a bit, then listen to more podcast on the way home.  

Legwork and Life, week of 7/24/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

I did end up making a mixed berry pie from the summer black raspberries.  I needed to supplement it with a few store raspberries and blackberries, but I think the end result was pretty good.  I froze about half the pie after it had cooled, because a whole pie is a bit much for two people to eat in a few days.  


A mixed berry pie with a heart cut into the top crust.
a green cutting board with a paring knife.  Below are three berries for comparison: a raspberry, a blackberry, and a wild-grown black raspberry.  The wild berry is about an eighth the size of the blackberry.

I\’m still coughing and sniffling a bit.  And the red bumps aren\’t really going away.  My doctor has a theory for this, which I think I\’ll try out next week.  The test will likely be misery-inducing, but hopefully educational, and it\’s only as expensive as buying some extra food ingredients and planning a day\’s meals.  I\’ll make a Friday post out of it, so look forward to that next week.  

View from a glider- mostly puffy white clouds and blue sky

View from a glider.  A layer of puffy clouds, with patchwork of trees, roads, and farmland below

View from a glider.  Patchwork of fields, forests, and roads, with the occasional puffy white cloud.

Also this week, I finally received my birthday present from last year, which was put off by weather- and people-related shenanigans until now.  My spouse bought me a 5,000 foot glider ride, which was fairly fun.  I like the fluffy clouds and seeing the patchwork quilt of the landscape.  Generally I only get to see such things from a commercial aircraft, and even then, not very often.  So it was kind of fun to try this kind of flying.  I probably wouldn\’t go again, especially not with that particular company (because of said people-related shenanigans), but it was a good experience to have had.  

This week I\’ve been experimenting with having the wifi turned off on my tablet at bedtime.  My spouse has kindly done the same.  The theory is that wifi, dirty electricity, and cell phone signals can mess with peoples\’ brain signals, which can disrupt sleep and such.  

I haven\’t noticed a whole lot of changes with the lack of wifi, but then, I\’ve been having to get up for various reasons, so maybe this hasn\’t been the best test.   I\’d like to try a couple more things before giving up on the endeavor.  First, I\’d like to start turning off our home\’s wifi overnight.  It\’s not like we\’re using it while we\’re sleeping anyway.  And second, I\’d like to move the bed away from the wall.  It turns out that our electricity meter (which is a smart meter) is right against the wall the bed is on, which… isn\’t great, by the sound of what my doctor tells me about the theory I\’m testing.  I\’m not really 100% clear on the theory in question, so that\’s something I\’ll have to ask about before I write on it more.

Legwork and Life, week of 7/17/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

This week I\’m just tired.  Toro, the parrot I mentioned last week, is home with her moms as of yesterday.  Taking care of her was an effort, and she definitely has a mind of her own.  She even gave her moms some trouble, when they came to get her.  Silly thing.  I\’m sure she\’s a lot happier now that she\’s home, though.

  

I\’m still coughing on occasion, and my nose isn\’t entirely back to normal.  I\’m not sure what the deal is now.  The doom algae out back was growing nicely, so perhaps that\’s it.  I\’d had more psychological problems last year when that was the case, though, so I dunno if that explains it.  The heavens opened up and it just sheeted rain for about a half hour yesterday, which seems to have torn the algae to shreds.  If I do better today, that might be a good sign that the algae was the problem.  

I\’m not sure today will be super different, though.  I woke up quite early today instead of sleeping until my usual time.  That might simply be a temperature issue, but it\’s really not that hot out yet and I was using a lighter blanket as well.  

In the meantime, I\’m trying to do the bare minimum for most of my activities, which isn\’t always working out due to the enthusiasm of others.  That\’s life, but I can\’t exactly get my lost energy back, so I really hope life stops complicating itself for a bit so I can recover mentally and emotionally.  It\’s kind of been one long expenditure of energy, starting at Games Done Quick, continuing with the cold, and then taking care of Toro.  If I\’m fortunate, I can have a bit of a breather before October, Month of All Birthdays, arrives.  

My outdoor adventures with black raspberries are mostly over, unfortunately.  The season is fairly short, counted in weeks, but only like 2-3.  I still have some berries left from the last outing, at least.  I\’ll probably freeze half of them, or however much I need to make a pie.  I don\’t think I\’ve ever actually made a fruit pie before, so hopefully I can find a good recipe.

I didn\’t come away from my adventures entirely unscathed this time.  I appear to have a great number of tiny bumps.  They itched at first, but I washed them with soap and now they don\’t.  Not sure what the deal is.  They\’re not red since I washed them, but the Internet isn\’t being super forthcoming on what they are, possibly because there are a lot of possibilities.  They\’re not making me miserable, at least.  I ruled out poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac.  My best guess is oak mites, which apparently die if kept indoors, so I guess if I don\’t sprout any more, that\’s probably it?  

I guess I can check with my doctor about them when I see her tomorrow, too.  She\’s a big proponent of outdoor activities, and also a mom of four, so she\’s probably seen whatever this is before. 

Assuming the bumps are nothing horrible, the raspberry plants seem to be coming into season, so I might go out for a small harvest of those.  I\’ve seen a lot fewer of the regular raspberry plants, but there were several at a local park, and another near my parents\’ place.  Definitely not enough to make a pie out of, or even a substantial side dish, but cool to see and fun to snack on.  Wild raspberries taste just like the ones you find in the store, except perfectly ripe and always flavorful.  I guess, if I found enough, I could put them into a mixed berry pie with the black raspberries?  

Legwork and Life, week of 7/10/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

I\’ve been sick for the last week and a half with a summer cold.  It\’s sapped my energy and also made it hard to sleep, which is a really shoddy combination if you\’re trying to get better quickly. Apparently \”quickly\” is just not happening, though, because every time I think I\’m getting better, I wake up just as sick or worse the next day.  It\’s just kind of been a bad month, since getting wound up from SGDQ, I just haven\’t recovered.  Neither has my buffer, which isn\’t helping my anxiety levels at all.
 
This is Toro.  I\’m taking care of her for about a week and a half.  She is quite a handful.  She\’s a Pionus parrot, and she belongs to some friends who have to be out of the house for that long.  Parrots are social critters, and it\’s bad for them to be alone.  She\’s fully flighted, and is happiest being out of her cage for the whole day at a time.  So we\’ve semi-parrot-proofed the downstairs for her.  
Taking care of her is an endeavor, and reminds me that I still have a lot of my own life stuff to sort out before my spouse and I adopt anything ourselves.  
In the meantime, other things occurred:
One of those same friends is into wild food, so we went berrying for black raspberries recently.  They\’re ripe now.  I actually had that container on the left entirely full, but they\’re tasty.  So I\’ve been eating them, feeding them to friends, and trying to feed them to Toro.  She\’s not impressed so far.  
I am, though.  They\’re mainly sweet, but there\’s some tang and tart mixed in.  When I was little, I\’d found these and pointed them out to my mother, who told me they were safe.  After a certain age, I didn\’t put things in my mouth that I wasn\’t sure about, so it was cool to be able to just wander into the woods and find these in my first neighborhood in Minnesota.  I had no idea they were called black raspberries, just that they were tasty and you had to fight with thorns to get at them.  I never collected a ton, and of course they don\’t last forever.  
This time, my friend and I went prepared.  I\’d read in a book to have your container fastened around your waist, so you can use both hands for picking, so I rigged up some string, tape, and the rectangular container there.  The thorns definitely had their say, and I had to pry a few off me in the course of gathering.  I was also still sick at the time, so I had to take rests quite regularly, which was disappointing as it wasn\’t exactly hard work.  Lots of bending over, but not really jumping jacks or even running.  

Still, can\’t argue with the payoff.  I had a small bowl of berries in addition to this cereal for breakfast.  Tomorrow my spouse will make summer salad, which is kind of what you get if you mix fruit salad with green leafy salad with herb baked chicken and top the whole thing with flax seeds and slivered almonds.  It was an odd concept for me at first, but I can\’t argue with the delicious results.  Normally he\’d just use raspberries or blackberries from the store, but since we have these, why not use them?  They\’re maybe a quarter to a third the size of store raspberries, but they\’re packed with flavor and nutrition.  

Probably a lot moreso than their domestic cousins, actually.  Modern crops tend to be grown in nutrient-poor soil.  They plant the same crops there year after year, and only plant one type of plant, which all uses the same nutrition out of the same soil.  After a few years, the soil\’s nutrition is gone, but in modern farming, you don\’t let that stop you from planting again the next year… or the year after, or the year after.  So you get crops with poor nutritional content.

Wild stuff, on the other hand, grows alongside tons of other types of plants, which have varying nutrient requirements but also put back some kinds of nutrition into the soil.  So you get good, healthy, nutrient-filled soil, which grows these black raspberries into little nutritional powerhouses.  

Legwork and Life, week of 7/3/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

I made pancakes!  


They\’re 1/3 cattail pollen, 2/3 whole grain flour pancakes.  I\’m told not to go higher than 1/2 cattail pollen when baking, probably because baking is finicky.  Still, I was pleased with the results.  They did have a distinctive taste to my taste buds, but I couldn\’t really identify what it was.  I guess if we go collecting again next year, I\’ll need to get more and do a half and half recipe.  Either way, the yellow color these turned due to the pollen was quite pretty.  

Summer Games Done Quick is over.  It was quite an experience, and I\’ll talk about it this Friday.  Suffice it to say, it was exhausting, many gamers went home very happy, and Doctors Without Borders is going to receive a lot of money to provide medical services all over the world.  So basically everybody wins, at least after I rest up.  

I\’m still doing the experiments with the grounding pad, but the results aren\’t as dramatic as I was hoping.  Real science often isn\’t.  I didn\’t really have results from having the grounding pad\’s connectivity changed from day to day, so I\’m in the process of trying it with one week on, one week off.  Double-blind, so at the moment I have no idea whether it\’s plugged in.  I\’m merely documenting my results until both weeks are over.

…It occurs to me that not everyone has a background in psychology, so: Double-blind experiments are ones where the full conditions of the experiment are hidden from both researchers and subjects.  This is to prevent either group from making assumptions, and from those assumptions affecting the data.  

In this case, I kind of expect to sleep better when the grounding mat is plugged in.  That\’s my assumption, which biases me towards putting more favorable results for my sleep if I know the mat is plugged in.  Therefore, I should not be told whether the mat is plugged in.  That\’s \”single blind\” in this experiment.

My spouse is helping me.  Kind of being my research assistant, he\’s the one plugging in and unplugging the grounding mat.  He knows, therefore, the status of the mat, but not what results I\’ve been getting from my sleep.  This ignorance to the results of the experiment is the \”double blind\” in the experiment.  The whole experiment, having both of these, is therefore \”double blind.\”  

Last thing, I picked up a cold somewhere.  I was originally assuming it was an allergic reaction to the new nut butter I\’ve been trying, or to the cattail pollen… but the progression is pretty unmistakable by now.  Fuzzy head and slightly scratchy throat, leading to sniffy nose, leading to massively stuffed up nose, leading to hacking cough (my current location), which eventually fades away (hopefully soon!).  I\’ve frozen the last of my cattail pancakes, just in case, but I don\’t expect a reaction when I eat them in a couple weeks.  

Legwork and Life, week of 6/26/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

The weirdness with my diaphragm seems to have worn off entirely, which I\’m really glad of.  I don\’t really understand how this weeklong experience happened without any pain, and still had such important side effects, but the human body is a weird mystery, so whatever. 

Speaking of weird, I went with friends to go cattail pollen collecting!  You can use cattail pollen as flour, and we wanted to try it, so off we went.  It was quite an endeavor, what with it being hot out and having to push my way through the head-high cattails.  It\’s no jungle, but it\’s probably the closest I\’ll get to traversing something like that.  I didn\’t have sufficiently waterproof footwear, and quickly got soaked socks and such. 

I used a technique recommended by a seasoned harvester: grabbing a gallon jug, cutting a hole in it, inserting the pollen-laden cattail head, and shaking it.  This allowed me to collect mostly pollen in my efforts.  The stuff is bright yellow, as you\’ll see, and I was quickly covered in pollen.  Fortunately I\’m not allergic. 

The results of my labors had to be sifted for bugs and plant fibers, which I did using a sieve to get the big stuff, and then cheesecloth for the smaller debris.

Fiber and bugs certainly won\’t kill you, but they\’ll mess up the texture of your baked goods.

The final result!

I want to say I was out there collecting for maybe 15-25 minutes, and we started collecting relatively early in the pollen window, so we had to search fairly hard for cattails with pollen.  Which is probably why the end results only came out to half a cup.  Still, that\’s more than enough for a recipe of pancakes, and that\’s fine with me.  If I like the pancakes and flavor, I\’ll get a larger batch next year.  

Other than that, everything is Summer Games Done Quick.  It\’s a charity event for speedrunning video games, complete with prizes, commentators, interviews, and lots of happy people.  This one sponsors Doctors Without Borders, which is a very deserving charity that helps people worldwide, and it will likely raise at least 2 million USD by the end of the event, mainly in micro-donations from thousands of video game lovers.  
As a child I was prohibited from playing video games, so I missed the chance to play a lot of the games that come up in events like these.  It\’s really cool to see them played so skillfully, and for such a great cause.  I\’ve caught the runs of a few games that I did get to personally play, as well as some games I\’ve never heard of before.  
I\’m enjoying the event, but I do notice it can be kind of overwhelming on a sensory level.  Having someone almost always talking means my brain doesn\’t rest and focus as much.  That might just be a me thing, because I know some people put on the television for company or whatever.  I don\’t know, but either way, I\’ve made sure to schedule in some \”I\’m not watching\” time during games I\’m not interested in watching.  Which is how I had time to write this post!  
The event will go until the wee hours of Sunday morning, which is why I tried to work ahead last week.  I mostly succeeded.  Whew.  

Legwork and Life, week of 6/19/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

Poor sleep seems to be the order of the week.  Well, poor sleep and bad dreams.  Yesterday morning\’s involved acupuncture from hell, where each needle was scream-inducingly painful.  There were a lot of needles, and afterwards my brain added insult to injury by simulating free candy afterwards… but only the kinds I can\’t have because they\’re made with cow and pig bones (gelatin).   I\’m really not sure what I did to anger my subconscious, but it must have been something really bad.  

Possibly it\’s the poor sleep.  The thing is, I\’m not really sure what I\’m doing wrong.  I have the room darkened quite thoroughly.  I just acquired a body pillow that seems to be much more effective in lining up my back and joints.  I have much fewer cracking joints on waking up.  

I guess there\’s the fact that my grounding mat is wearing out?  Maybe it\’s not so effective now that it\’s pulling apart?  But I was never convinced that was a major issue.  So I guess I can replace it with the nearly flawless one I\’ve been using at my computer and see if it makes a difference.  I\’ll let you know if it does.  I\’ve been somewhat curious on that front, but lacked conclusive proof either way.  

Other, possibly related news: I upset my diaphragm (or possibly lower lungs?) by leaning over my couch for a few minutes.  I\’m not really sure what happened, but the organ(s) in question were not forgiving.  I spent a lot of the weekend unable to breathe very well, and constantly feeling like my lower middle wouldn\’t expand properly.  It made it really easy to run out of breath.  Very unpleasant.  Not recommended.  

Basically, it put me in a slightly oxygen deprived state at all times, which made me very grumpy.  I didn\’t do a whole lot due to that.  A hot bath helped somewhat, but didn\’t really fix the problem.  It did, at least, let me try out some Japanese import bath salts (label in Japanese, a gift from a friend), which… the label was lavender, the powder was orange, and it turned the bathwater bright, fluorescent yellow.  Super weird, no idea why.  But it smelled nice, at least.  I didn\’t dare mix it with the epsom salts after the overdose debacle last time, so that\’ll still have to wait another week or so.  

Anyway, my breathing seems to be more or less back to normal now, for which I am very grateful.  Speaking of things that had to be put back to normal, this weekend my spouse and I attempted to fiddle with my tablet to make it more functional.  The process is called \”rooting\” and it basically lets you customize every aspect of the software in the device.  It also voids your warranty in most cell phone companies.  The thing is, this device already sports a thoroughly cracked screen, and the warranty doesn\’t cover that.  I\’ll be needing to get a new device soon, so as to avoid glass splinters.  So rooting the tablet doesn\’t really change a whole lot.  

Unfortunately, it turns out the device actually can\’t be rooted, due to weirdness in the hardware and software.  But the attempt did wipe all my data off the tablet, so I spent a good part of the weekend putting back my apps, games, and interface.  Not my favorite use of time, but it wasn\’t awful, and it\’s all done.  

Next week is Summer Games Done Quick, which is a charity video gaming event, and basically it means I\’m going to have zero time.  So I\’m trying to work ahead this week.  Made some small progress already!  Hopefully more progress will ensue.  

Legwork and Life, week of 6/12/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

Last week I talked about how awesome an Epsom salt bath was.  Turns out they have diminishing returns, based on how much magnesium is in your system!  Also, like any other substance, you can absolutely overdose on magnesium.  One symptom of magnesium overdose is anxiety!  Irony sucks.  I was hoping to have a nice relaxing bath and ended up with anxiety dreams for the next four days.  

Before anyone gets worried, it was only four days because I routinely take a large-ish dose of magnesium in supplement form, so those kept my levels a bit too high for longer than they had any right to be.  After a few days, I skipped a single dose and the anxiety dreams stopped.  

This is kind of the story of my life: find something that seems to help, try to use it regularly, find out it has significant limits, doesn\’t work all the time, or actually doesn\’t help as much as you thought it did. Presumably this is life\’s way of telling me that \”no, nothing is ever going to be easy for you.\”  

Anyway, I\’m not ruling out Epsom salt baths as a thing, but they\’re clearly more of a \”once a month, maybe\” thing, rather than a \”I can do this once or twice a week and it\’s super nice!\” thing.  

There\’s been no word from Meijer about the review of their store or making them more sensory-friendly, but I\’m developing a spreadsheet of audit criteria using the materials I put together for the presentation.  I figure I can probably get some use out of it when I shop in other stores.  I\’ll probably run it by my doctor, who also has sensory issues.  Plus if Meijer follows up, I\’ll have something nice and fancy-looking to bring to the next store I audit.

Other than that, I\’ve been mostly keeping busy with house maintenance and improvement.  Nothing super impressively major, just a slightly different setup for the downstairs TV, moving a couple small furniture things around, and rearranging some of my space in the bedroom.  Also this:

whiteboard filled with chores on index cards

With luck, the board will help me and my spouse keep on top of weekly, monthly, and yearly responsibilities.  Sadly some of these chore-cards will never actually get turned over, because they\’re on an \”as needed\” basis.  Things like adjusting the thermostat, resetting the clocks whenever the power goes out or daylight savings time hits, etc.  Still, it\’s good to have them where they\’re visible and easily-referenceable.  

Legwork and Life, week of 6/5/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

In brief: last week had a sudden frantic spurt of work activity which exhausted me for a couple days thereafter. You\’ll see the results of that frantic work this Friday.  But I also maybe discovered something to help boost my relaxation, possibly by overdosing on it.  I have also possibly hopefully gotten a buffer restarted, which is excellent because it\’s very helpful to my overall anxiety level.  

The work intensive thing spanned roughly 28 hours, and began with an email that I read upon waking up.  Essentially, it was a call for comment from various qualified-to-comment people, asking how to make my local Walmart-competition store more sensory-friendly.  The public face (and only paid employee) of Autism Support of Kent County was being invited to speak to someone at the corporate office.  She wanted ideas from everyone so as to present as many good ones as possible.  The meeting was scheduled for the next morning.

This is the sort of meeting I think firsthand experience is essential for, so I politely requested to be invited along.  Fortunately, she tends to agree on the value of firsthand experience and wasn\’t put off by my forwardness.  But even before hearing back from her, I made plans to go off to my local store and essentially audit it.  Which I did, though it took over an hour to traipse the whole store and investigate various things.  

I also sent out a message to the local autistic adults I\’m in contact with, asking their opinions on the subject.  The thing with autism is that at present, it\’s a very individualized experience.  I have over-sensitivities in the sensory department.  Some autistic people have undersensitivities, a combination of both, or their senses are normal.  

I came back from the trip with six pages of notes and the desire to have a presentation ready on what I\’d found.  Which I managed, but it took basically the rest of the day and well into the wee hours, and the result was, um…  let\’s say \”functional.\”  A good presentation is pleasant on the eyes and includes more than simply organizing the information.  This was more \”it\’s organized into headers, here you go.\”  I made the meeting and did some of my presentation, anyway.  

After all that rush and time spent all at once, I was exhausted.  I spent most of the next day doing no work at all, because I was brain-burned and just wanted to lie around.  My life is not so luxurious that doing so was an option, but I did take a bit of time for myself in the evening.  I took a bath.  

I have various good quality bath bombs from a nice Etsy shop, as well as presents from other people.  I often use these, and they smell nice and make me happy.  However, I\’d also heard of good results from using Epsom salts in baths, and so I\’d sometimes stir in a cup of those in addition to my bath bomb.  Epsom salts, you see, are magnesium salts.  Magnesium is sometimes deficient in autistic people, which can lead to anxiety and other detrimental effects.  So some autism parents swear by Epsom salt baths, saying they\’re massively helpful for calming down their children.  This time, I eschewed the usual bath bomb and began dumping Epsom salts into my tub like there was no tomorrow.  

I wasn\’t thinking super-clearly, but I think the closest approximation for my frame of mind was, \”I\’m going to prove these stories right or wrong, one way or the other, or so help me God.\”  I\’m not actually sure how many cups of Epsom salts went into the tub, because I wasn\’t measuring.  It\’s a big tub, so more than the single cup is probably necessary to get the appropriate effect.  At any rate, I dumped probably 3 times that, maybe more, into the tub, including some directly onto my submerged legs.  

It\’s a little weird to have salt in your bath, but it does eventually mix with the water.  As long as you\’re not drinking it, it\’s basically fine.  Just be sure to buy the unscented if you have sensory issues.  I had a very relaxed bath, which I mostly noticed because I didn\’t start getting super antsy to get out when the bath started to cool.  

After I got out was when I really started to notice the difference.  My muscles were hyper-relaxed.  My brain was very very quiet.  I mostly just wanted to lie around in bed and do nothing.  Fortunately, it was my spouse\’s turn to cook, so I did just that while I waited for dinner to be ready.  I think I dozed off a couple times.  This alarmed me a little, so I looked up magnesium overdoses the next time I was properly awake, and I miiiiight have overdone it just a little.  Lethargy is a symptom of magnesium overdose.  I didn\’t have any of the other symptoms, though.  

So I dunno if this is a universal thing, but I\’m probably going to buy Epsom salts in bulk now, and make regular use of them.  I will definitely need to see about a better dosage than, \”1 cup, plus a bit more, and a bit more, and screw it a lot more, and maybe a bit more…\”  

In the meantime, I have a bit of buffer again!  There\’s not a whole lot to say on this, it\’s just me stockpiling Reading the Researches and Friday posts for rainy days.  Some weeks there really aren\’t good research articles for this blog, while others come with several.  It\’s wise to have backups, but I haven\’t done that a lot of this year, I guess because there\’s been a lot of rainy days and not a lot of success in rebuilding the buffer until now.  Here\’s hoping I can keep up the good trend.  

Legwork and Life, week of 5/29/19

This is Legwork and Life, where I track the legwork and opportunities in my career as an autistic advocate, and also describe parts of my adult autistic life, including my perspectives on everyday problems and situations.

Most of my energy this week was spent on negotiating the chores list with my spouse.  These sorts of things are usually kind of trying, but Chris and I have fundamental disagreements on when one does chores and in what manner.  

The way I grew up and learned these things, chores were something you did on your own time.  They were assigned to you, and you took responsibility for doing them during the week.  At the end of the week, all the chores should be done, and you had done your part to ensure a clean, livable household.

The way Chris learned these things, chores were something you did with your family.  Nobody really liked doing chores, but they were necessary.  So at some point, the family would get together and do all the things necessary to keep the house in good shape.  It wasn\’t fun, but everyone suffered together, so that made it less unpleasant.  

I have a marked preference for my family\’s version of chores, because everyone knows what they\’re responsible for and does it without there needing to be oversight or advanced multi-person planning.  It teaches self-reliance and personal responsibility.  Chris prefers his family\’s version, which emphasizes togetherness.  The end result, when we first started splitting chores, was that I did all my chores on my own time, and he didn\’t do his, waiting \’til the non-existent together-chores time happened.  

Needless to say, chores have been a point of conflict in our relationship.  There were complicating factors, like the fact that historically, the women have been shoehorned into being the home-managers and doing most, if not all of the chores, even if they were better suited to other jobs.  I deeply resent that inequality, and refuse to conform to it.  The fact that I was born with female parts shouldn\’t dictate my life\’s path.  

There was also the differences in availability.  While he works from an office building, I work (mostly) at home and thus have more flexible hours.  It also means that work effectively follows me everywhere, which can be draining.  But I can negotiate my relaxation time, work time, and chores time with greater freedom than he can.  

It took several iterations, but we did manage to cobble together a (very detailed) system that should work for us, and that we can both look at and say \”yes, this is fair.\”  It makes neither of us, y\’know, happy.  But that\’s a mark of a good compromise, or so I hear.